


Purity

by positivitet



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 10:07:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 76,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/positivitet/pseuds/positivitet
Summary: Sicheng is a decoration. He doesn't have much life experience, having spent his teenage years as just a beautiful thing for the leader of a Chinese triad to look at. The triad, located in Korea, that's where he spends his days staying quiet and pretty, following the leader's orders. Sicheng doesn't see any signs of his life changing until one day the triad is attacked by a rival gang.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> oh my! this is my first time posting on here, so i'm still trying to figure things out. i hope ya'll like this and that i did this whole thing right. anyway this will be Sicheng x everyone, though the relationships will vary between platonic and romantic. It's a gang AU, so expect some mature themes. tags/warnings regarding this will be added as they come.

Sicheng bowed politely at the man, who held the door open to the large garden. The man bowed in return, but he did not return the soft smile Sicheng had sent him. It didn't bother the boy, he was used to the cold exterior of the triad's members. Even the leader, who claimed to adore him, did not show his admiration unless they were in private.

Lifting the soft and light fabric of the hanfu he was wearing, he entered the garden, smiling a little wider at the blossoming flowers. He looked up at the blue sky, shielding his face from the sun with his paper umbrella. Both the umbrella and the hanfu were cornflower blue. Wearing the long, detailed dress was something Sicheng had grown accustomed to long ago, as he had been dressed like this from the first day the triad had taken him in. He reached a hand up to gently touch the flower hairpiece, a blue color matching his clothing, which sat in his dark locks.

He wandered aimlessly through the garden, enjoying the warm sunlight and the soft smelling flowers. He wasn't sure how long he walked around, seemingly never tired of the seeing the same garden every day. He walked to the back of the garden, where large trees stood, fencing of the outside world. As he stood in the shade of the trees, he allowed himself to close the umbrella. He looked up through the leaves, admiring the view of the sunlight breaking through here and there.

That's when he heard the first shot, more shots rapidly following. Panicked and without much thought, Sicheng hurried further in between the trees, crouching down in the bushes. He had heard gunshots before, when the triad had been attacked by rivals, but never this close. They sounded as if they were inside the house. It went quiet after a while, too quiet, no sounds of birds chirping or anything. Sicheng swallowed. He carefully peaked through the bushes, before standing up. He didn't move however, waiting for the leader to come and call for him.

Suddenly five shots followed each other quickly, causing Sicheng to drop the umbrella and stumble back, hiding behind a tree, wide-eyed and terrified. He took a few seconds to calm his wildly beating heart, before he once again peaked out; looking towards the large house that he had lived in since he was twelve. He had never had to fear that place, even if it had been uncomfortable at first, but now a brewing feeling told him it wasn't safe anymore. His suspicion was confirmed when two men he didn't recognize stepped outside. Sicheng quickly moved back behind the tree, crouching down, praying they hadn't seen him.

"If anyone's out here, show yourself and we might spare you!" The command was followed by an arrogant laughter.

Sicheng felt tears prickling at his eyes and he tried his best to keep his breathing steady. They were speaking Korean, not exactly Sicheng's forte, how would he be able to beg for his life when he barely knew the language?

"We know you're out here!" Another voice called out, "hiding like this will only secure your death!"

Sicheng carefully stood up, picking up his umbrella. He moved it into view of the two men and waved it around, testing whether they'd shoot or not.

They did.

With a high-pitched yelp, Sicheng dropped the umbrella as the shots bore through the beautiful paper. Out of pure shock, he sat down, his legs going weak as his panic and fear rose to new heights. He heard the men move towards him quickly, and instinctively Sicheng covered his head with his hands and shut his eyes, as if that would help if they shot him. He heard them stop not far from him and, if it was possible, he tensed even more.

"Hey!" one of them barked at him, "stand up!"

Hesitantly, Sicheng moved his hands from his face, before he shakily got to his feet. He leaned his back against the tree for support, but also to keep a bit of distance between him and the two men that he didn't dare to look up at. He heard them discuss something, their words quick and quiet, leaving Sicheng unable to pick up what they were saying.

At least until one of them spoke up firmly, "I'm not shooting him."

Sicheng risked looking up, seeing the two men up close. They currently weren't looking at him. One of them, Sicheng’s height or taller, had brown hair, and he was currently aiming his gun at Sicheng. The other one, maybe a bit shorter than Sicheng, had his hair dyed a red-ish brown. He seemed to be the one refusing to shoot Sicheng, as his gun was lowered.

"Fine, I'll do it," the first man spoke, seemingly unfazed, as he turned his attention back to Sicheng, who lowered his head again.

"No," the shorter spoke firmly, grabbing his wrist, "look at him, Jaehyun, he's not a member, he can't be."

Once again, Sicheng dared to look up. _Jaehyun_  rolled his eyes.

"How do you know he's not hiding weapons under that dress?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

Jaehyun turned to Sicheng again, looking him over in an almost condescending way. He frowned, but lowered his gun.

"What do we do with him then?"

"I still doubt he's armed, but for safety, let's search him," the shorter man said, "and then we'll ask Taeyong what to do with him."

Jaehyun nodded and lifted his gun again, aiming at Sicheng as a safety measure, while the other man put his gun away and moved closer to Sicheng, obviously cautious. Having understood most of their conversation, Sicheng lifted his arms, trying to show that he wasn't about to struggle. He was felt over and with a nod from the man, Jaehyun put his gun away as well. He walked over and they each grabbed one of Sicheng's arms, leading him out of the trees. He couldn’t help but notice how much tighter Jaehyun’s grip was.

As they walked towards the house, another man stepped outside. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow when he saw Sicheng.

"Who's this?"

"Some kid we found hiding in the back, between the trees," Jaehyun said.

"He's not armed or anything, Taeyong, I don't think he has anything to do with these guys' work."

 _Taeyong_  seemed to consider the man's words. Their eyes stayed locked for a few seconds before Taeyong gave a nod and turned to Sicheng.

"You speak Korean?"

Sicheng's eyes widened. The question was directed at him. He swallowed nervously, trying to force his tongue to work.

"I, uh," he stuttered out, "not good."

Taeyong sighed and turned towards the triad’s home, calling for yet another stranger, "Kun! I need you out here, now!"

Not five seconds passed before a fourth man appeared, _Kun_. Sicheng swallowed, knowing very well that knowing the names of these men wasn’t necessarily a good thing. They didn’t consider him a threat, but they couldn’t just let him walk at this point. He didn’t want to consider what they’d do to him.

"He's not good at Korean, I assume he speaks Chinese," Taeyong said, motioning to Sicheng, "Yuta doesn't think he's a real member of the triad."

Kun nodded and turned his attention to Sicheng, " _you speak Chinese?"_

The tiniest bit of relief washed over Sicheng at the familiar language and he nodded, " _yes_."

Kun sent a few basic questions his way, before turning to Taeyong and switching back to Korean, "his name's Sicheng, he's 20 years old. Yuta's right, he's not a member. More like a decoration, I think? He's not trained in anyway, it seems. He seems pretty much harmless."

Taeyong's arms were still crossed and he furrowed his eyebrows at the new information. He still didn't seem to know what to do Sicheng, who silently just hoped he'd be siding with the man who refused to kill him, _Yuta_ , apparently. Sicheng had his eyes on the ground, but looked up to see if he could get an idea of whether or not Taeyong was considering killing him. He immediately regretted it, Taeyong's gaze was very intense and Sicheng looked down again, intimidated.

"We'll take him with us for now," Taeyong sighed, "we'll figure out what to do with him later."

"Seriously?" Jaehyun questioned, sounding equal parts shocked and annoyed.

"Is it a problem?"

As shiver ran down Sicheng's spine at the sudden cold tone in Taeyong's voice. It was threatening.

"No, of course not."

"Good."

With that Yuta and Jaehyun led Sicheng into the house, which caused Sicheng to widen his eyes.

It was an absolute mess. Broken things and ruined furniture everywhere, but that wasn't what caused Sicheng to freeze involuntarily and quickly squeeze his eyes shut. It was the bodies. Though it was only a glimpse before he closed his eyes, the bloody bodies of dead men lying on the floor made his breath hitch. Even if most of the men in the triad had never shown any real care for him, they had been there through all eight years he had been living there. They had on more than one occasion risked their lives to protect the house and Sicheng. Seeing them like that, unmoving on the floor, it made every muscle in his body tense up.

"Come on, kid, open your eyes, we gotta go."

Sicheng shook his head. He couldn't open his eyes.

"Oh, great! Now he's crying!"

"Shut the fuck up, Jaehyun."

Sicheng hadn't even noticed, but he _was_  crying. A hiccup left him and he hung his head low, eyes still squeezed shut.

"Listen, Sicheng, right? You can keep your eyes shut, okay?" It was Yuta speaking slowly to the left of him, giving his arm a squeeze, "but you'll have to walk, we'll lead you, okay?"

Swallowing, Sicheng nodded, surprised at the patient and encouraging tone in the man’s voice. He tried to calm his breathing, as they led him through the room. He kept his eyes closed, refusing to see the bodies. He felt a breeze hit him when they got outside again.

"You can open your eyes now."

So, he did, slowly, seeing Taeyong and Kun further ahead, standing by two black vans along with three other men. Two of them tall, a brunet and a blond, and one of them short with gray-ish hair. Sicheng couldn't help but look around as he was escorted towards the cars, his memory of the front of the house getting refreshed. As they got to the vans, the tall brunet gave Sicheng an amused look.

"Has he not been outside before?"

"We don't know too much about him yet, we'll look into it later," Taeyong spoke, impatience in his voice, "now let's go, we've already been here way longer than expected because of his unforeseen existence."

Agreements sounded from the men. Yuta and Jaehyun helped Sicheng into one of the vans, but only Jaehyun followed him in, sitting on the seat across from Sicheng. The tall brunet took the driver's seat and Kun the passenger's seat. Sicheng stayed quiet, keeping his eyes on his embroidered shoes in the same cornflower blue as his hanfu and flower piece. He listened to the occasional conversation between the three men, learning that the tall brunet was named Johnny. He also picked up the name Taeil, but it didn't sound like he was among the men Sicheng had seen so far.

Sicheng played with his fingers as he spaced out, thinking of what had just happened. He had been removed from his repetitive yet comfortable life. Everyone, who had been a constant in his life for the last eight years were dead. Whether or not he was close with them didn't really matter, they were such a huge part of his life, it left an empty and heavy feeling in his chest.

"Do you always cry this much?"

Sicheng looked up, meeting Jaehyun's eyes. The man was frowning at him, and Sicheng quickly dried his eyes with the end of his sleeves and muttered out an apology.

"Don't be a dick, Jae," Johnny spoke from the front, “he hasn’t done anything.”

"I'm just asking him a question," Jaehyun retorted, "it's not my fault he's a crybaby."

" _Don't mind him, he just acts like spoiled brat sometimes. He’s not always like this._ " Kun said, turning to give Sicheng a comforting smile.

Sicheng nodded and gave a soft smile in return. Jaehyun sent a glare Kun's way, but Sicheng couldn't tell if he was upset because he understood what Kun had said or if it was because he just didn't understand the Chinese that felt like a safety rope to Sicheng in his current situation.

The rest of the ride was silent. Sicheng spaced out for most of the time, lost in thoughts about what would happen to him. Would he stay with these men? Jaehyun didn't seem too fond of him, so maybe not. But the chance of them letting him go was small. He wasn't stupid. He'd seen their faces, heard their names, it would be a big risk to let him go. And even if they did let him go, what would he do? He had nowhere and no one to go to. He knew his life wouldn’t have been spared if the triad had found someone like himself in another hideout. Even if he barely ever got to leave the house, he could tell these guys weren’t like other gangs.

Sicheng was pulled out of his thoughts when Johnny eventually killed the engine and Jaehyun grabbed his arm to lead him out of the van. He followed obediently, trying not to wince at the tight grip.

They were at a parking lot. The other men had also exited their van. Sicheng noticed two other black vans parked, as well as quite a few flashy cars that Sicheng didn't know the brand of. The parking lot was fenced off.

Jaehyun dragged him along as they walked to the building that the parking lot obviously belonged to. No one spoke, the energy around Taeyong was enough to shut anyone up. The door leading inside was equipped with a code pat that Taeyong quickly entered the code for. Sicheng was dragged inside to a small room with a few couches and tables, a door and a staircase that let up a floor. Upstairs was another door with a code pat. Sicheng could tell these men didn’t mess around with safety. Taeyong once again pressed in the code and led the way inside. Jaehyun pulled Sicheng with them.

The inside was surprising. In the hallway, all the men ridded themselves of their shoes and Yuta prompted Sicheng to do the same. The hallway wasn't anything special, but then they moved to the main room.

Sicheng's eyes widened and he gaped. Everything was so… _homely_. A big open living room and kitchen took up the room. With two couches and two additional armchairs in front of a table and a large television made it obvious that many people lived there together. Big windows were on the wall, and though heavy, white curtains had been closed, it didn't make the room gloomy. The floors were a dark wood, but a creamy colored carpet was on the floor in the area designated to be the living room area. However, in the open kitchen the floor was on display, matching the wooden cabinets with its white countertops, the same way the creamy carpet matched the walls of the room. The colored pillows on the couches and the soft lighting overwhelmed Sicheng. It was such a beautiful room, and so different from the triad's simple and professional looking house, where he had been used to being the only decoration needed. This looked like a home. This gang really was something else.

"You're back," Sicheng managed to pull his wide eyes from the beautiful room to see a man come down a staircase. He was Sicheng’s height, with broad shoulders and black hair. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed Sicheng.

"I'll explain later," Taeyong said, before the man could ask, "is Taeil back?"

"No, he just texted me, though. He's on his way."

Taeyong nodded. He turned to Sicheng and sighed. Sicheng lowered his gaze.

"You can let go of him, Jae."

Jaehyun released his grip on Sicheng's arm and on impulse, Sicheng stepped away from him, rubbing his arm where Jaehyun's hand had just been. He could already tell it'd bruise. Jaehyun gave him another cold look, and Sicheng turned his head away. It was worse than meeting expressionless faces everyday, Jaehyun really looked like he could kill with one look. Just then the sound of someone entering came from the hallway and another man joined them. 

Taeyong looked appreciative, "Taeil, good timing, I need you and Johnny to follow me. We have something, well _someone_ , to discuss."

Taeil spotted Sicheng, and he simply nodded before he and Johnny followed Taeyong out of the room. Sicheng watched then, as the other men scattered, leaving him standing awkwardly. The tall blond went upstairs without any words spoken in Sicheng's presence. Yuta hurried after him, saying something about not being a party pooper. Jaehyun, the black-haired man and the short man went and sat down, turning on the television.

" _Sicheng?_ "

Sicheng jumped a bit as Kun placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

" _Ah, yes?_ "

" _You can sit down, you know?_ " Kun smiled reassuringly at him and motioned to the couches.

Sicheng looked over and frowned, " _I don't think… he wants me to._ "

" _Jaehyun?_ " Kun questioned with a chuckle, " _don't worry, he won't do anything. As I said, he's just a spoiled brat._ "

Sicheng blinked at Kun, " _Why are you so nice to me?_ "

" _You haven't given me reason to be anything else._ "

Kun squeezed his shoulder and smiled at him, not so kindly this time. Something in Kun's eyes made Sicheng swallow nervously. Sicheng nodded, he understood a warning, and quietly followed Kun to the couches. He sat down, keeping a distance between himself and these men, who he still didn't know. He couldn't let himself get comfortable just because one of them spoke his language. He figured his future was in the hands of Taeyong, who seemed to be the leader, Johnny and Taeil. He wasn't safe yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i was super surprised by how well recieved the first chapter was thank you so much for your sweet comments! to the jaehyun stans, i'm sorry, he'll be acting like a dick for a while, but i swear i love him! please forgive my not so flattering portrayal of him

Sicheng's eyes were cast down, staring nervously at his hands. He played with his fingers anxiously, waiting for the last members of the gang that had attacked his home to enter the meeting room. Taeyong stood with his arms crossed at the end of a table while Taeil and Johnny were sat in the chairs by the table's corners. Sicheng stood in the corner, keeping his distance from everybody else. Yuta and the tall blond finally entered, closing the door behind them, despite no one else being in the building to Sicheng's knowledge.

"Now that we're all here," Taeyong spoke up, "I want to let you all know what we've decided regarding our _guest_."

Sicheng didn't have to look up to know they all let their eyes land on him momentarily. He felt it clearly before their focus returned to their leader.

"For now and until further notice, we'll allow him to stay with us."

Sicheng looked up in surprise.

"Are you kidding?" Jaehyun sounded legitimately surprised.

"No." Taeyong answered shortly.

For the first time, the tall blond spoke up, "are you sure this is a good idea? We don't know anything about him."

"I'm aware of that," Taeyong sighed, "Taeil looked into it and the only thing we could figure out is that he went missing."

"Missing?" The black-haired man questioned doubtfully.

"Yeah, we don't think that's what happened either, but we'll have to hear him out about the details." Johnny said from his seat, "I'm sure Kun will be able to talk and translate for us."

Kun nodded, "of course."

“As I said, for now, he’s staying,” Taeyong said again, “I think that’s our only option. As you all know, I don’t believe killing someone without reason is right even for us. And I know _most_  of you agree.”

Sicheng didn’t miss the look Taeyong sent towards Jaehyun, who frowned.

“I just don’t understand why he’s our problem,” Jaehyun muttered.

"Anyway," Taeyong walked around the table towards Sicheng, who met his eyes carefully, "out of courtesy, I think it's only right that we present ourselves officially."

Sicheng blinked, having only understood what had been said to a certain degree. He knew he wasn’t going to die at least. Taeyong held out his hand and Sicheng blinked again before hesitantly holding out his own. Taeyong grabbed his hand in a tight grip and looked up at him with a gaze so intense and dominating that it made Sicheng feel like he was the shorter one.

"I'm Taeyong, and I want this to be clear, as long your living under this roof you listen to me. Do you understand? You might not be a member, but I am just as much your leader as I am everyone else's. If you try to defy me, you'll be on the street in no time flat, I do not care whether or not you have a place to go. And at that point I will not protect you from anyone, that includes Jaehyun. Are we clear?"

Sicheng nodded quickly and whispered out a _yes_. Taeyong released his hand and Sicheng let his arm fall to his side. Out of his peripheral vision, he could tell Jaehyun was looking at him with a slight smirk. He could tell that Jaehyun enjoyed his fear.

"Where will he stay?" The short man spoke up.

"I think it will make most sense to let him stay with Kun," Taeyong said, his voice returning to a more neutral tone, "that's alright?"

Kun nodded, "it's fine."

“Shouldn’t you ask us as well?” Jaehyun was frowning again.

Taeyong sighed like a dad would at a son, “I assume Doyoung is fine with it-” the black-haired man with the broad shoulders nodded- “and frankly, I don’t care what you think, Jae.”

Sicheng watched the scene unfold, in complete shock that Jaehyun was allowed to speak like that. He knew what would have happened in the triad if someone had stepped out of line in the way he did. Jaehyun crossed his arms and leaned against the wall with a frown.

Taeyong turned to Sicheng. In a tone, which was far less intimidating, he quickly pointed to the different members, telling Sicheng their names. Jaehyun, Yuta, Johnny, Taeil and Kun he’d already figured out on his own. The black-haired man was Doyoung, the blond was Hansol and the shortest of the bunch was Ten.

“You got that?”

Sicheng nodded, assuring himself that he'd be able to remember, simultaneously afraid of forgetting and asking for more clarifications.

"Good. You can ask anyone if you need anything, just don't throw around our names if you should be brought along to anywhere but here."

"Okay."

"Jeez, he's really a talkative one, huh?" Ten said with a laugh.

Yuta lightly punched his shoulder with a grin, "you talk as if we haven't been there, too!"

Sicheng watched completely baffled at the sudden change in atmosphere. Taeyong sighed and excused himself, leaving the room with Johnny and Hansol following after. Jaehyun left as well, but not before sending Sicheng a dissatisfied look.

From his seat by the table, Taeil sighed, leaning his head on his hand, "what a brat."

Sicheng noted a certain affection in the way he said those words. Like a father or an older brother. Sicheng didn't notice that he was staring at Taeil until the man met his eyes and smiled kindly at him. Immediately he looked down, but he still managed to notice Taeil standing up.

The older man walked up to Sicheng and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Hesitantly, Sicheng looked up. Taeil squeezed his shoulder and gave another small smile before leaving. Sicheng watched him go, surprisingly relieved after the wordless exchange. He jumped a little when Kun grabbed his wrist, immediately on edge again.

" _I'll show you our room, where you'll be staying._ "

Sicheng nodded and let Kun lead him out of the room.

"I feel bad for making him scared like that…" Yuta said, leaning against the table with a frown.

"I think most of the credit goes to Jaehyun for that," Ten replied, "don't feel bad, man."

Yuta hummed, "he seems a bit... oblivious to everything, doesn't he?"

"He does," Ten agreed, "but if those triad members kept him locked up, who's to blame him?"

With a sigh, Yuta nodded, "poor kid."

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng sat patiently on the edge of one of the beds while Kun and Doyoung moved another bed into the room. They placed the head of it against the wall opposite of Kun's bed. The room was fairly simple, two big closets, a desk and now four beds. Kun had shown Sicheng the bathrooms before leading him to their room, two downstairs and three upstairs.

"Do you think he can borrow some of your clothes?"

Doyoung shrugged, "I guess, for now. We'll have to buy him his own clothes at some point if he’s staying here for a long time."

"I know. I just don't think he should be walking around in that hanfu and you're probably the closest fit."

"I think he could fit Jaehyun's too, but he's still acting like an idiot."

Kun smiled, "yeah. Hopefully Taeyong's gonna tell him to knock it off if he doesn't stop it soon."

"Hopefully!" Doyoung said with a smile and an eye roll, "you'll get the rest for the bed, right? I'll find some clothes for him."

"Sure,” Kun replied, leaving the room

Sicheng stayed obediently on the bed, while Doyoung dug through one of the closets. Kun returned with a pillow and a duvet, throwing them on the mattress. He took a seat and crossed his legs, watching Sicheng silently for a while before speaking.

" _You're okay with sharing a room with us, right?_ "

" _Of course,_ " Sicheng nodded.

Kun looked like he wanted to ask something else, but Doyoung interrupted before he could, handing Sicheng some clothes.

"I think this'll fit you."

"Thank you…" Sicheng took the clothes, and looked at Kun shyly.

" _You can change in the bathroom._ "

Sicheng nodded and hurried to go change.

"Shouldn't we keep an eye on him?"

Kun shrugged, looking at Doyoung, "I don't think he's going to go anywhere. Where should he go, anyway?"

"I don't know," Doyoung said, "maybe he knows some other gang through the triad?"

"I doubt it." Kun ran a hand through his hair, furrowing his brows, "we've done business with that triad and he's never been to any meetings, why would they take him to meetings with other groups if not us?"

Doyoung sat down with a sigh, "I guess you have a point, but it's hard to just trust him."

"I know, I'm not saying we should trust him, but there's no reason to suspect him of being a snitch either. Besides, I'm pretty sure we're the only consistent Korean partners the triad had, most of their allies are located in China, even if they were here in Korea."

Doyoung hummed, "he does seem harmless. I just don't understand what he was with the triad for?"

Kun frowned, "I'm not sure I want to think about it."

"You don't think…?" Doyoung straightened up, looking at Kun in slight shock.

"I hope not, but you never know. There's some pretty fucked up people out there."

"But still, he's twenty, right? And he's obviously been with the triad for a while. He must have been a child when they took him in. I mean, even gang members should have standards that keep children out of shit like _that_."

Kun looked away, still frowning, "that's why I hope I'm wrong, but I can't think of any other reason they'd just keep him around."

"Maybe it's just 'cause he's pretty?" Doyoung suggested.

Kun gave him a look, raising an eyebrow, "you think they possibly kidnapped him and kept him because of his _aesthetics_?"

"There's some pretty weird people out there, Kun."

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng closed the bathroom door and locked it. He looked around; the bathroom's tiles were in white and creamy colors with a simple interior. A counter with a sink, a toilet, a wooden cabinet and a combined shower and bath with glass doors. There were a few fairy lights decorating the counter. It once again left Sicheng speechless, the way the gang had such a homely feel to their place.

Above the sink hung a large mirror and Sicheng frowned at his reflection. It was obvious he had been crying, his eyes were still a bit puffy and red-rimmed. He sighed, put the clothes on the counter, and started ridding himself of the hanfu, slightly self-conscious even if he was alone. He neatly folded the dress and put it on the counter before getting dressed in the clothes Doyoung had given him, a pair of gray sweatpants and a white long-sleeved shirt with black stripes. He looked in the mirror and frowned again. The clothes was so…

_Plain._

Maybe it was just because he had been used to wearing clothes with so many little details, but he felt weird wearing something so simple. There was a reason he preferred staying in the garden at the triad's home. Every flower, every leaf, every blade of grass had so many fine details, unlike the rooms, which were arranged to be practical rather than pleasing to the eye. Sicheng looked at the flower piece in his hair. It looked awfully out of place suddenly, and Sicheng gently took it out of his hair and placed it on top of the folded dress. He let his fingers linger on the fragile accessory.

Sicheng turned on the faucet, washing his face with cold water, trying to snap himself out of the almost dreamlike compliant state he was in. It was actually happening. The triad was gone and his life was in the hands of a group of rival gang members. He dried his face and suddenly felt a lump in his throat. He was about to cry again.

He looked into the mirror. " _Don't cry…,_ " he whispered.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Sicheng let his head hang low. He grabbed onto the counter tightly, inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling shakily through his mouth. He swallowed before biting his lip, trying to stop the tears from falling.

But to no avail.

The first tear escaped, and as if a dam had broken, countless others followed. Sicheng crouched down, covering his mouth to keep the sounds of his sobbing from escaping him. He gasped behind his hand, the hot tears streaming down his face. A short knock on the door made his eyes go wide as tried to quiet his breathing.

" _Sicheng? Are you okay?_ " Kun's voice came from the other side of the door.

Sicheng let out a shaky breath, _I'm fine…!_ "

He winced at the crack in his voice. He hoped it wasn't as noticeable to Kun as it was in his own ears. He heard some talking outside the bathroom. Sicheng shakily got to his feet, washing his face again, desperately trying to stop the tears. Sniffling, he felt the tears still falling, his breath far from calm. A small whimper left him.

There was another knock on the door, this time less hesitant.

"Are you dead or something? Do you need help?"

"N-no…!" Sicheng quickly answered, recognizing Doyoung's voice this time.

Sicheng grabbed the hanfu and hairpiece, exiting the bathroom and muttering an apology. Doyoung frowned and watched as Sicheng hurried back towards their room. He shared a look with Kun, who was frowning as well.

"Is he crying again?" Jaehyun asked, coming up the stairs, having witnessed Sicheng hurrying away with tears streaming down his face.

Kun rolled his eyes and followed Sicheng. Doyoung shrugged at Jaehyun, who came up to him.

"You act like he doesn't have a reason to."

Jaehyun frowned and pushed Doyoung's shoulder, "don't give me that sass."

"Alright, sorry. Don’t call your mom, okay? I don’t want her to tell my mom I’ve hurt your feelings," Doyoung said with a teasing grin, patting Jaehyun's shoulder and walking off, down the stairs.

Jaehyun frowned at Doyoung's back, flipping him off before turning to go to their room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, sorry jaehyun stans. jaehyun is soft, i know this and i love him. i swear he'll get better. also sorry winwin for treating you like this, my poor bias :(

Kun frowned at the sight that met him when he entered the shared room. Sicheng was sitting on the bed they’d brought in for him, his face burrowed in the fabric of his hanfu. He was trying to drown the sound of his sobbing. Kun sighed and walked over. He took a seat by Sicheng’s side, and the boy immediately sat up straight, rubbing his eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears.

“ _Stop. You don’t have to be embarrassed, okay?_ ” Kun grabbed Sicheng’s wrists and pulled them away from his face. It was hard not to feel bad for the boy. Everything Kun had learned before his admittance into the Korean group told him not to show the slightest feeling, but the boy looked so incredibly sad, how could he not?

“ _I’m sorry._ ”

“ _Don’t be,_ ” Kun said, releasing Sicheng’s wrists, “ _I know it’s tough for you, but we won’t hurt you._ ”

Sicheng looked at his hands in his lap. He couldn’t just believe that, could he? Even if that wasn’t in their plans yet, who knew how quick Taeyong could change his mind. Maybe he’d be dead tomorrow.

Kun sighed at the lack of response and stood up, “ _I’ll go. I have to go run some errands, but I’ll be back soon if you need me, okay?_ ”

Sicheng nodded. He watched as Kun walked to the door, where Jaehyun appeared. The two met each other’s eyes and Sicheng could feel the tension in the few seconds it lasted before Kun left. Jaehyun frowned and met Sicheng’s eyes. Immediately Sicheng looked down. He swallowed, feeling Jaehyun moving closer. He stopped in front of the Sicheng, who kept his head down. A few seconds passed, with Sicheng waiting in tense silence for Jaehyun to say or do something.

“Hey!” Jaehyun barked, making Sicheng flinch, “look at me.”

Fearfully, Sicheng looked up, meeting Jaehyun’s eyes, cold yet on fire with anger. Jaehyun suddenly grabbed a fistful of his hair, tilting Sicheng’s head backwards harshly, making the boy yelp in shock and slight pain.

“Listen here,” Jaehyun growled, “I hope you took Taeyong’s warning seriously. If you give him any reason to throw you out, you’re fucking dead, you got that? And it’ll be by my hands. I’d love to strangle you, you little whore.”

Sicheng couldn’t speak, he just stared at Jaehyun with wide eyes, shocked by how much the man seemed to hate him. It didn’t matter that his Korean wasn’t the best, the words he picked up and the aggressive tone was enough to make him understand. What had he done to upset Jaehyun so much? He couldn’t figure the man out. Jaehyun was so different from the stoic triad members, but he was just as different from his own members, who seemed to be far from what Sicheng would consider heartless criminals. Jaehyun was just so angry.

“Can’t you speak, huh? You can speak to Kun, can’t you? He’s your type or what?”

“I-I don’t- sorry!” Sicheng forced out, unable to think of anything to say.

“What the hell are you doing, Jaehyun?!”

With a frustrated sigh, Jaehyun turned towards the door, not weakening his grip on Sicheng’s hair. Yuta walked in obviously upset.

“Let go of him.”

With a frown, Jaehyun pushed Sicheng backwards, making him fall back on the bed.

Jaehyun crossed his arms, “there.”

“What the hell is your problem?” Yuta asked annoyed, “did mommy and daddy upset you again?”

Jaehyun took a step forward and grabbed the front of Yuta’s shirt, “shut the fuck up.”

“So they did,” Yuta said with a smirk.

“I said shut the fuck up, Yuta,” Jaehyun pushed Yuta, but the other quickly caught his balance.

Sicheng was nervously watching, afraid of moving.

Yuta stepped forward again, apparently not faced nor scared by Jaehyun’s aggression, “don’t take your fucking family problems out on him. He hasn’t done a thing to you, you fucking brat.”

There it was again. Sicheng realized that the other men referred to Jaehyun as _brat_ a lot. Jaehyun obviously hated it, and the look he gave Yuta was scary. He muttered a curse and left the room again. Yuta watched him go, frown on his face. He sighed and turned to Sicheng, grabbing the boy’s hands and pulling him back in to a sitting position.

“Don’t mind him,” he smiled apologetically, “he’s just in a bad mood.”

Sicheng looked cautiously at Yuta, whispering out, “are you going to kill me?”

Yuta looked shocked and sat down beside Sicheng, shaking his head, “no, we don’t kill innocent bystanders.”

“But, I... know you?” Sicheng said, unable to think of a different way to phrase his worry. Anyone who would have figured out the names of the triad’s members would have been _taken care of_  with no hesitance or remorse.

Yuta placed a hand on Sicheng’s arm, making the boy flinch slightly, “despite what we do, we still have morals. Taeyong would never kill anyone for no reason. You can’t be blamed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Sicheng looked at Yuta, a confused look on his face, “why are you nice?”

A small chuckle left Yuta, “I wouldn’t call us nice, maybe we just aren’t as bad as others.”

Sicheng nodded and Yuta patted his shoulder with a reassuring smile. It almost made Sicheng sick, he felt like they were playing with him. They were gang members, murderers, criminals in every sense of the word. They couldn’t just act this nice. Something wasn’t right. Sicheng just couldn’t figure out what it was.

Yuta stood up, “I’ll go downstairs, maybe you should get some sleep?”

“Okay.”

“If Jaehyun tries anything again, just find me, I’ll put him in his place again, alright?”

Sicheng nodded, “okay.”

“Good,” Yuta smiled again. It didn’t feel completely genuine, but Sicheng couldn’t place the other’s underlying feelings.

Yuta left the room, shutting the door behind him. Sicheng chose to take his advice, climbing under the covers. He couldn’t deny how exhausted he was. His day had been nothing but fear and crying and though he wanted to consider why these men acted as they did, too nice to be true, his eyes fell shut immediately.

 

* * *

 

Yuta entered the living room. He scanned the room. Jaehyun was nowhere to be seen.

“He left.”

“Good,” Yuta rolled his eyes and Doyoung couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. The love in the group, something like a messed up kind of family love, it included their youngest member, but when he got in his moods they would all rather stay away from him. More out of frustration than fear.

Taeyong was frowning, “when will that kid learn? I’m tired of him acting like a brat, he needs to grow up.”

“If anyone makes it through tomorrow, it might help him. He’ll finally be a big brother,” Johnny said with a shrug.

Taeyong hummed.

“There’s some good applicants this time,” Hansol spoke up, “Sehun told me one of them really knows his way around knives.”

Yuta took a seat, “doesn’t help much if he can’t take the punches tomorrow.”

“Crazy kids,” Taeyong laughed dryly, “do they know what they’re getting into?”

Hansol shook his head, “they never do, but I was told to keep an eye out for two ‘99 liners.”

“So young...” Doyoung muttered.

“We all were,” Taeyong stated, “they’re not much younger than Jaehyun and he joined around three years ago. He became a soldier at sixteen, too. I was the same age.”

Doyoung hummed. They were all young when they joined, but it still felt surreal for them to see other teenagers enter their world.

Johnny looked to Hansol, “how many in total?”

“Sixteen, but I doubt all of them will show up. I expect eight at most.”

Yuta frowned, Hansol could sound so disinterested when he spoke, but he knew there was more to the man. He knew Hansol would be leaving soon and it still upset him. It felt unreal for someone to be leaving NCT. They were basically family at this point, messed up or not. Simultaneously Yuta knew he had to go. He was important to NCT, but he was needed in the applicant department of SM. Recruiting was something Hansol was good at. He could tell almost instantly whether someone was made for gang life or not. He even recruited Doyoung and talked Taeil’s case, when other SM leaders doubted his usefulness in the group. Taeyong could have done it, but he would have been called biased. Hansol was known to be as objective as one could be.

“Who’s going?” Doyoung asked, an obvious hint of hope in his voice. He didn’t want to go. None of them enjoyed meeting the new _applicants_ , as they called them.

“I’m bringing Hansol, Jaehyun and Yuta for the pledging-” Yuta’s frown deepened- “Doyoung, I want you and Ten to be watchmen.”

Doyoung nodded. Being watchmen sucked, but helping the pledging sucked even more.

“Are you sure about Jaehyun?” Johnny asked, “he’s been awfully aggressive lately.”

“You don’t say,” Yuta spoke up, “I caught him harassing that poor kid just now.”

Taeyong furrowed his brows and leaned his head back against the couch, “I know, but it’s about time he tries it. And as for the kid, I’ll have a talk with Jaehyun if he hasn’t calmed down after tomorrow.”

Johnny nodded.

Silence fell over the room. Everyone was stressed, but they knew their leader felt an even bigger pressure. Finding Sicheng the day before meeting their applicants had them all troubled, it was beyond bad timing, but Taeyong was the one who had to take decisions regarding him. Had he just been another member of the triad, had he just been trained enough that killing him could be deemed a defense for the group that would have made everything much easier. They knew Taeyong had a hard time figuring out what to do with him. His morals would never let him kill the boy, but they couldn’t let him go. And their choices were limited if they were to drop him off somewhere else. They had plenty of partners, it was a perk of being part of SM, but they couldn’t justify burdening them with someone like Sicheng.

Taeyong let out a frustrated huff, something only these close members living above the club they ran as a facade saw.

“What the hell was he even there for?!”

Everyone shared looks. They all had similar suspicions.

“We need Kun to ask him directly,” Doyoung said, “I just hope it’s not what we’re all thinking.”

Taeyong ran a hand through his hair, a faded red color, “I just can’t believe they’d do shit like that to a kid. I mean, he was twelve when he was last documented alive.”

“You know some gangs deal with that shit, though,” Yuta muttered, disgust in his voice.

Taeyong stayed quiet and in turn so did everyone else. The silence wasn’t exactly comfortable, and a relieved sigh left Yuta when the sound of someone coming back made Taeyong stand up.

Ten, Taeil and Kun entered the living room, bags of food in their hands. They were the least suspicious looking members, so they’d often be the ones to go when food or other everyday products were needed.

There were small cheers for the food’s arrival, and soon everyone was busy filling their stomachs after a successful mission. Taeyong had considered it a success despite the unexpected guest they’d have to bring home.

“What about Sicheng?” Kun asked.

“I think he’s sleeping,” Yuta shrugged, “we can save some for him.”

“He certainly got accepted quickly,” Ten said with a small smile, “I guess that’s what he gets for being cute.”

“Speaking of,” Taeyong said, “tomorrow or the day after I need you to speak to him, Kun. I want to know exactly why he was with that triad.”

Kun just nodded.

They kept eating, momentarily forgetting the worries of the days to come.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are you guys alive? i'm typing from hell currently bc the black on black mv killed me. the teasers alone got me fucked up too  
> anyway enjoy this chapter

“ _Sicheng?_ ”

The boy turned around, smiling at the man standing in the door to the garden. He walked over and petted Sicheng’s hair. Sicheng tilted his head, looking questioningly at him.

“ _Do you want to plant new flowers again this spring?_ ”

Sicheng nodded his head, “ _yes! I miss the morning glories._ ”

“ _I’ll get it done for you._ ”

The man smiled softly, but only for a brief moment. His eyes suddenly widened and Sicheng felt warm droplets hit his face. He watched in horror as the man sunk to his knees in front of him, blood leaking from a bullet wound in his forehead. He looked up at Sicheng, eyes turning an eerie white. He reached out his hand, grabbing the bottom of the hanfu the boy was wearing. Sicheng was frozen, unable to take his eyes away from the man. Around him shots echoed in his ears and in his peripheral vision he noticed men falling, dying around him.

Sicheng jolted awake. He was in a cold sweat. The room was dark, but looking around he could tell that his new roommates were sleeping in their beds. He couldn’t make out who was who, though. He was breathing heavily and tears were brimming his eyes. He swallowed thickly and got out of bed. On shaking legs he made his way to the door, trying to stay as quiet as he could. He exited the room and closed the door behind himself, starting to make his way towards one of the bathrooms.

A yelp left the boy as he was grabbed from behind and pushed up against a wall. _Ten._  Sicheng met the short man’s eyes, piercing and intimidating in the same way Taeyong’s was. Soon realization hit the man and his eyes softened. He took a step back, and Sicheng realized how strong his hold had been.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize it was you,” Ten said with a laugh.

Sicheng nodded in response.

“What’s going on?”

Ten and Sicheng both turned towards the voice. Taeyong stood by the door to his room, Taeil behind him.

“I thought our guest was an intruder, sorry!” Ten shrugged with a sheepish smile.

Taeyong nodded and went back inside.

“Don’t scare him too much, Ten, he already has to deal with Jaehyun,” Taeil said with a smile.

“Of course!” Ten assured the other.

Taeil disappeared back into the room as well, and Ten turned to Sicheng again.

“You okay? It’s late, you know?”

Sicheng paused, trying to find the word in his head, “nightmare.”

“Oh,” Ten said, “you want some tea? To help you calm down, I mean.”

Sicheng blinked, unsure whether he should accept the offer or not. Ten rolled his eyes with a smile and grabbed his hand, pulling Sicheng with him downstairs. He made him take a seat by the table in the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” Ten asked while getting some water to boil, “you didn’t eat earlier.”

“A little,” Sicheng muttered.

“I’ll reheat some for you, don’t worry!”

Sicheng watched silently as Ten prepared tea and heated up food for him. Soon he had a plate of food and a cup of tea in front of him. Ten took a seat across from him with his own cup of tea. Sicheng’s stomach growled at the smell of the food and he realized how hungry he actually was.

Ten smiled, watching the boy eat. Compared to everyone else, he really was just a boy. He couldn’t help but think of the pledging. The boys that would show up were all Sicheng’s age or younger, but they’d have different looks in their eyes. They’d already show signs of being worn out, too adult in too young bodies. Their eyes would have seen to much, unlike Sicheng, who looked up at him with eyes that had seen too little.

“... Okay?”

“Huh?” Ten blinked, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Are you okay?” Sicheng asked.

Ten smiled again, “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Sicheng looked at him for a moment before returning focus to the plate in front of him. He finished the rest of his food. Ten took the plate to the sink as Sicheng got to his tea. They both finished their tea in silence.

“I’ll find a toothbrush for you, okay? Then you can go back to bed.”

Sicheng hummed in response. He still wasn’t sure what to think of these guys’ kindness. It was so foreign to him. He didn’t even know them, and still they treated him so nicely. Except for Jaehyun, but despite his attitude the other members still seemed to think fondly of him. Perhaps he really wasn’t so bad. Sicheng didn’t want to judge him so harshly, though it was hard not to.

 

* * *

 

 

“I told you,” Hansol said in a low voice.

Seven boys had shown up. Taeyong looked them over, he could already tell two of them wouldn’t make the cut. They all stood in what used to be a parking lot. It was abandoned at this point, an old building that used to be a store stood in the corner. Occasionally drug addicts would hang out there, waiting for their dealers to show up so they could get their next hit. The whole placed was fenced off, it was easily accessible, but what would happen soon couldn’t be seen from the road that ran by. It wasn’t a very traveled road, but they had to be careful.

“I assume you all know what’s going to happen?” Taeyong spoke.

The boys nodded. One of them stood out by his height alone. He could probably rival Johnny. Dyed dirty blond hair and a confident aura only made him stand out even more.

“These two will time you,” Taeyong said, motioning to Doyoung and Ten, “you’ll go through the first part of the pledging one by one. You know the rules right? Thirty seconds, you can’t fight back. If you can get up, you’re good.”

They could all tell how nervous the boys were. Taeyong picked out the first boy. He stepped forward. Jaehyun stepped forward as well, cracking his knuckles with a chilling smile. Yuta followed, an expressionless look on his face. Taeyong asked his name, but didn’t bother remembering.

“Time?”

Doyoung nodded, “three... two... one... go.”

Jaehyun took the first punch. Straight to the kid’s face and Taeyong noticed how some of the other boys flinched. Not the tall one. He had to be one of the kids Hansol had been recommended. He returned his attention to the first boy again. He was already on his knees. Yuta kicked him in the back, making him fall down on all fours. Jaehyun kicked him right after, hitting his jaw. A disgusting sound came from it. Yuta sent a kick to his ribs and another cracking sound followed. He had definitely broken something. Knowing his members, Taeyong was glad he had set certain boundaries to the pledging, otherwise the boys would be left unrecognizable. One of the boys looked away, one of the two Taeyong knew wouldn’t make it.

“Stop!” Doyoung called out, making both Yuta and Jaehyun halt their actions.

The boy wasn’t moving. Taeyong gave it a few seconds before he nodded at Yuta and Jaehyun. They grabbed the boy and moved him away from the group. There was blood from where he had fallen down, Taeyong knew it would dry and become part of a slowly growing painting on the asphalt. A dark brownish-red painting. A symbol of lives lost, both literally and figuratively. Even the boys that walked away from the old parking lot had lost their old lives. There was no turning back if they made it past the pledging.

The second boy went through the same, this time by the hands of Taeyong and Hansol. When Doyoung called for them to stop he didn’t move either. Taeyong wasn’t that surprised. His unmoving body joined the first boy not far from the group.

“What’s your name?” Taeyong asked nonchalantly as the third boy stepped forward.

“Mark.”

“That’s your real name?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright Mark, you know the drill by now.”

Mark nodded and he watched as Jaehyun and Yuta stepped in again. Doyoung started the time and the first hit was thrown. It took longer to get him on his knees. He managed to stand through the first fifteen seconds until Jaehyun finally managed to get him down. He took a few more kicks to his stomach and ribs, and one particularly harsh hit to the cheek, before Doyoung called for a stop.

Taeyong raised an eyebrow, impressed to see the boy get up almost right away. He was shaking and stumbling, but he got up.

“You might have it, kid.”

Mark smiled mischievously, mouth bloody, “I am absolutely fully capable.”

Taeyong smirked, “get over here.”

Mark walked over and Ten handed him a clothe to dry off as much of the blood as he could. He sat down, still winded from the beating. Ten handed him a bottle of water as well.

The tall kid walked up, the air of confidence that surrounded him hadn’t faded in the slightest. He stood unfazed by the first three beatings.

“What’s your name?”

“Lucas.”

“Your real name?”

Lucas smiled confidently, “I’ll tell you afterwards.”

Doyoung counted down and Hansol was quick to take the first hit. Taeyong could tell he wanted to test the boy’s confidence. They didn’t need members that were all bark and no bite. He took the second hit himself. They got him to his knees and he took more kicks to the stomach than the others had, but they didn’t manage to get him down further. He did cough up more blood than the other boys had. Doyoung called for a stop and Taeyong and Hansol stood back.

The boy spat out some blood before getting to his feet, confident smile back on his face, despite his wobbly legs and bloodied face. Taeyong couldn’t hide it, he was impressed that the boy wasn’t just all talk.

“Yukhei.”

Taeyong furrowed his brow, “excuse me?”

“My real name,” the boy grinned, “it’s Yukhei.”

Yuta couldn’t hold back an amused laugh, “I like this kid.”

With a nod of his head, Taeyong ordered Lucas to go to Ten as well.

The two next kids didn’t stand a chance. The last boy stepped forward, he was tall as well. Jaehyun’s height. That didn’t change much. He wouldn’t make it. The look on his face, in his eyes, he wasn’t meant to be there.

“Name?”

Jaehyun was already getting ready, but the boy seemed as unfazed as Lucas had been, though his attitude was much different. He smiled, “it’s Jungwoo.”

His voice was soft, oddly gentle.

“Your real name?”

“Yup!”

Yuta turned to Taeyong with a raised eyebrow, obviously confused by the cheeriness of the boy. Taeyong shrugged, he couldn’t be bothered to care about the fact that boy didn’t realize how serious the situation was. Doyoung called for a start and Jaehyun immediately took a swing, hitting the boy on the side of his face. Yuta went next, sending a blow to the boy’s stomach before going for the back of his leg, successfully sending him to his knees. Taeyong could tell that Jaehyun was going harder on this boy, possibly because he was the last. Maybe because of his attitude. Maybe Jaehyun was just in one of his moods. It was sometimes hard to tell with Jaehyun.

When Doyoung called for Jaehyun and Yuta to stop the boy was laying on his back on the ground, eyes closed and unmoving. Taeyong rolled his eyes. He wasn’t surprised.

“Alright, let’s go. You two need to meet the rest of the group before you can become official members.”

“Hold on,” Lucas said. He wasn’t looking at Taeyong. His eyes were on the boy on the ground.

Taeyong turned and he couldn’t help but widen his eyes in slight surprise. Jungwoo was still on the ground, but he was smiling now. He opened his eyes slowly and sat up. He met Taeyong’s eyes, still smiling softly, calmness radiating of him as he got to his feet. He wiped off the blood by his mouth and eyebrow with the end of his sleeve.

“Alright, man! I knew you’d pull through!” Lucas exclaimed, walking over and pulling Jungwoo into a side hug.

“Of course,” Jungwoo smiled.

”I’ll admit,” Taeyong started, “you surprised me, kid.”

Jungwoo’s smile widened a bit.

With Jungwoo on his feet, they walked to the vans they’d arrived in, driving back to there main location with three more people than they’d left with.

 

* * *

 

Sicheng sat quietly as the three members still in the home watched the news. Taeil and Johnny were paying the most attention to the lady talking on screen. Kun was on his phone, but occasionally he’d look up. Sicheng tried to understand, but he wasn’t really sure what was going on. The lady’s Korean wasn’t meant for his lacking understanding of the language.

Suddenly the door opened in the hallway and the three reacted right away, getting up and going to meet whoever was coming back. Sicheng stayed on the couch, but positioned himself so he could see who it was. Taeyong entered, closely followed by Yuta.

A gasp left Sicheng when he saw the next person entering.

It was a boy, Taeyong’s height. He couldn’t possibly be older than Sicheng. He had brown hair and seemed to have soft facial features as well, but it was hard to tell. He had blood on his face and his clothes, and bruises were forming where his skin was visible. He was somehow still walking with his head held high. Like he was proud of his injuries. Sicheng’s eyes stayed wide as two other boys followed, equally beaten and yet with wide and proud smiles on their faces. They were both tall. The tallest with dirty blond hair and the shorter one with gray hair, black roots clearly showing.

Jaehyun, Ten, Doyoung and Hansol entered after the three beaten boys.

Sicheng kept watching quietly. Taeyong ordered the three boys to stand in a line. Johnny and Taeil looked them over, Kun seemed more interested in hearing what Taeyong had to say.

“So these are our new little brothers?” Taeil asked.

Taeyong smiled, “unless anyone has anything to say against it, yes.”

No one said a thing. Sicheng noticed how the tallest boy’s lip twitched slightly. He was relieved, it seemed.

“What’s your names?” Johnny asked then.

Taeyong motioned for the first boy to start of, “we’d like to know where you from as well.”

The boy nodded, “my name is Mark Lee. I’m from Canada.”

“How did you become a soldier here?” Yuta asked, knowing from experience that foreign soldiers were rare and getting promoted as a foreigner was even more rare.

“I was working with a gang that had ties to SM. They recruited me after a police raid split us up.”

Sicheng swallowed. _SM_. He’d heard that before. The triad leader used to complain about their power in Korea and how they always managed to come out on top. He knew different groups worked under the SM name, but he wasn’t sure who he was staying with. The triad only worked with groups with Chinese members to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary rivalry.

“How long have you been a soldier?” Johnny asked.

“Around six months,” Mark said, “but I’ve been working with SM for almost three years.”

“Alright, you’re next,” Taeyong said, turning to the tall boy.

“My name is Wong Yukhei, but I just go by Lucas. I’m from Hong Kong,” he said, his voice deep.

“Another foreigner?” Taeil looked at Taeyong, surprised.

“I was surprised too, but apparently we’re going worldwide,” Taeyong shrugged, “anyway, Lucas, what’s your story then?”

“I used to work with drug production and handling in Hong Kong. At some point, well, a pretty important package arrived to it’s destination with only half the amount of product that should have been there. I got thrown under the bus, so I think you can guess why I got out of there.”

“When did you join SM?”

“A year ago,” Lucas said.

Taeyong nodded, “and you’re buddies with Jungwoo it seems?”

Lucas smiled, “yeah, man, we’ve been partnered up a lot since we joined around the same time.”

With another nod, Taeyong turned to the last boy, “and you.”

“Right,” the boy smiled, “as you said, my name is Jungwoo. Kim Jungwoo. I’m Korean.”

“How’d you end up under SM?” Johnny asked.

Jungwoo shrugged, “I lived in a not-so-nice neighborhood, where getting involved in crime was pretty much impossible. I was sucked deeper and deeper into the whole thing, drug deals, theft, all that. And then it just kinda happened.”

“Alright,” Taeyong spoke, his tone made it clear he was about to say something important, “you’ve all already shown enough loyalty to SM for you to even be offered pledging, but now you have to show your loyalty towards NCT. Not just me, but the whole group. We can’t let you stay with us just yet, I figure you understand that.”

The three boys nodded, focused entirely on Taeyong’s words.

“You’ll be staying in the building beside this one, it’s an SM-owned motel. You’ll go on some missions with some of our members, and what they report back to me will determine whether you’re in or out. Understand?”

Mark and Jungwoo both gave a _yes_. Lucas replied with an enthusiastic _yessir_. Yuta’s lips twitched into an amused smile again. He liked the attitude.

“Good,” Taeyong said, fishing a key out of his pocket, “I figure you’re old enough to get there yourself. Tell the lady at the desk that Taeyong sent you, they won’t question the blood then. You can get around out back.”

The boys nodded again. Taeyong threw the keys at Lucas, who caught them effortlessly. The boys then said their goodbyes and bowed before leaving again.

As soon as the door closed behind them Taeyong turned around and made his way to the couch. He fell into it, sighing deeply. Sicheng looked curiously at him as he ran a hand through his hair, brows furrowed. He looked so _normal_. Sicheng hadn’t seen much normal in person in the last eight years of his life, but he still recognized it. Perhaps the dramas he’d watched had helped keep his memories of _ordinary_ somewhat intact.

“It almost feels like they’re getting younger,” Yuta said, sitting down beside the leader. Johnny, Taeil and Kun all followed, while the others disappeared to different parts of the home.

Taeyong hummed in agreement, “I don’t think I’ll ever get really used to it.”

Johnny patted the leader’s head, “I think that’s a good thing, honestly.”

“I agree,” Taeil said, “I would hate to see you– or anyone of us for that matter – turn inhuman.”

The room fell silent for a moment. Sicheng considered going to the room he had been assigned. He felt as though he was watching something he wasn’t supposed to. Yuta got up and left the room. Sicheng was very much considering following him.

“Kun,” Taeyong said then, “ask him why he was with that triad.”

“Now? Are you sure?” Kun let his eyes drift to Sicheng shortly, before going back to the leader.

“Yes.”

“Alright,” Kun said, getting up and taking a seat by Sicheng instead, “ _Sicheng, we want to know-_ ”

“ _I understood,_ ”Sicheng interrupted without thinking, eyes still on the leader.

His eyes widened a second later and his head shot up, meeting Kun’s confused eyes. The three other men noticed Sicheng tensing up as well.

“ _I... I didn’t mean to_ ,” Sicheng said, voice soft, but panicked, “ _sorry...!_ ”

Kun furrowed his brows, “ _what? Sicheng, why are you apologizing?_ ”

Sicheng lowered his gaze, “ _I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m sorry._ ”

“ _It’s- it’s alright, okay?_ ” Kun said, unsure of how to react to Sicheng’s words, “ _what happened if you interrupted... before?_ ”

The boy swallowed, “ _... punishment. You can’t step out of line._ ”

Kun carefully placed a hand on the boy’s knee, “ _what kind of punishment?_ ”

“ _They didn’t want to do it. It was for my own best._ ”

“ _What did they do, Sicheng?_ ” Kun didn’t miss the wavering in the boy’s voice, but he knew Taeyong wanted to know what kind of trauma the boy had brought with him. He had to push him to answer.

Sicheng’s eyes started to sting. He hated crying. It was ugly and it hurt. He sniffled. Kun squeezed his knee. It was reassuring, yet at the same time Sicheng knew it meant that he wanted an answer.

“ _They hurt me._ ”

Kun frowned, “ _how did they hurt you? Did they hit you?_ ”

Sicheng nodded slowly, “ _I deserved it..._ ”

Kun wrapped an arm around the boys shoulders and immediately he started crying. Kun looked at Taeyong in slight shock. The boy was sobbing. Kun pulled him closer, into his arms. He couldn’t think of anything else to do. Taeyong, Johnny and Taeil looked shocked as well, especially since they didn’t know what had been said, their Chinese lacking more than Sicheng’s Korean.

“ _Listen, Sicheng,_ ” Kun spoke softly, “ _that doesn’t happen here, okay? No one wants to be interrupted, but you won’t be punished for it, okay? No one’s angry with you._ ”

“ _But,_ ” Sicheng forced out through his sobbing, “ _I’m the lowest._ ”

“ _The lowest?_ ”

“ _I have no real value,_ ” he whispered, “ _I’m nothing but a thing to look at...!_ ”

Kun looked down at the boy, remembering Doyoung’s speculations regarding the boy. He’s just a thing to look at? Maybe they _did_  keep the boy with them just because he was pretty after all?

“ _Sicheng? I need you to answer me honestly, okay?_ ”

With his hands on the boy’s shoulders, Kun made him sit up again. The boy carefully looked into his eyes. He looked so broken in that moment. It was a strange contrast to the way he had looked sad, yet naive and confused before.

“ _Okay_ ,” Sicheng said, voice soft and still shaking slightly. He was still crying, but the tears came silently now. He wasn’t sobbing.

“ _The triad’s members,_ ” Kun started, “ _besides the physical punishment, did they do anything else? Was there any other abuse?_ ”

Sicheng looked confused at Kun, “ _no... what else would they do?_ ”

“ _They didn’t..._ ” Kun struggled to say it, “ _they didn’t touch you or do anything to you? Sexually?_ ”

Sicheng’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything. His cheeks turned a soft pink. Then the blush got harsher, until his whole face was red with embarrassment. He shook his head violently.

“ _No!_ ” He exclaimed, “ _no! They never- I didn’t- nothing like that happened!_ ”

“ _Alright, alright,_ ” Kun said, “ _sorry, I just had to make sure._ ”

With a sigh Kun relayed the information to Taeyong in Korean. Relief washed over his features when Kun made it clear that no sexual activities had happened between the boy and the triad members.

Sicheng was back to looking at his hands. His face still burned hot with embarrassment. He wasn’t like that. He had to stay pure. That’s what the triad leader told him. Stay pretty and pure. That’s why he couldn’t step out of line. Bruises were not pretty. If he had bruises then he wasn’t following orders. Being disobedient wasn’t pretty. He didn’t want to disappoint the leader. Without him he’d be on the street. He had to stay pretty, quiet and obedient. And pure. Above all, he had to stay pure. Even dramas he couldn’t watch alone. He wasn’t supposed to see any scenes that could possibly give him bad thoughts.

Taeyong stood up, pulling Sicheng out of his thoughts, “we’ll continue tomorrow. I don’t want to push him further.”

Kun nodded, “I think that’s a good idea.”

“I’ll go get Jaehyun and Doyoung,” Taeyong said, “we’ll get started on dinner.”

With that Taeyong left. Johnny and Taeil started talking softly together. Sicheng felt Kun place a hand on his back. He looked up and the man smiled softly at him.

“ _I mean it, okay? You don’t have to be scared,_ ” Kun said, “ _I understand why you are, but Taeyong is... he’s a good guy in a bad position. He doesn’t agree with hurting innocent people._ ”

“ _But I can’t just stay here?_ ” Sicheng’s soft voice was questioning.

Kun looked down for a second before meeting Sicheng’s eyes again, “ _we’ll figure something out, okay?_ ”

“ _Okay._ ”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love sicheng so much (surprise, he's my bias), so i feel bad for being so mean to him in this story omg sorry sicheng ;-;  
> enjoy this chapter and i hope you look forward to next one!

Sicheng was sitting at the end of the table by the kitchen. The morning and noon had been rather uneventful compared to the other days. Taeyong and Taeil sat at the other end. They were discussing. As far as Sicheng could make out it was about the three boys from the day before. He looked to the living room. Jaehyun and Doyoung were bickering about something, but the smiles on their faces told him that it was all in good fun. Jaehyun looked different. Sicheng couldn’t help but notice that his anger seemed to have died down. He didn’t look scary in that moment. He looked handsome. A glint in his eyes and dimples appearing as he laughed at whatever Doyoung said.

Something Sicheng had noticed was that all the men around him were undeniably handsome. Each in their own way, but handsome nonetheless. Jaehyun reminded him of the sweet and charming male leads he knew from dramas. He hadn’t seen it before, too blinded by his fear, but he really was good looking. Doyoung too, though his feature were very different. Sharp eyes and a wide grin. He had nice proportions too, the same height as Jaehyun, but with wide shoulders. It balanced his lean body well.

Sicheng let his eyes drift to Ten and Johnny, who were sitting on the opposite side of the couch. Johnny was tall, definitely the tallest among the men. Sicheng wasn’t sure if he should take the tall blond he saw the day before into consideration yet. He tilted his head, taking in Johnny’s nice side profile. His hair framed his face nicely, without hiding his cheekbones and eyes. He had pouty lips, drawn into a natural frown when he wasn’t smiling. He had a calmness about him, something Ten clashed harshly against with the mischievousness that lurked right under the surface. Similar to Jaehyun, he had a glint in his eye. He had relatively sharp features, especially his jaw and nose seemed to stand out. The smiles he had shown Sicheng had been very warm and inviting, but as he joked with Johnny they were closer to teasing. He had a charismatic aura around him, strong and noticeable, it made Sicheng forget how short he was.

“Sicheng?”

With a blink Sicheng turned his head to see Yuta had taken a seat across from him. Yuta was handsome too. His face shape, jaw and chin were distinct, manly. He had full lips and eyes filled with confidence.

“Ah, yes?” Sicheng realized he maybe had taken a bit too long to answer.

“Are you bored?”

“Bored?” He blinked. Why would Yuta care about that?

“Yeah,” Yuta smiled, and what a pretty smile it was, “I figured you might be. I found this in my room, if you want it?”

Yuta placed a box on the table and pushed it towards Sicheng. Hesitantly Sicheng pulled it closer and took off the lid. He pulled out a gray console. A small portable one. He looked at the little logo before flipping it open.

“A gameboy?”

Yuta laughed, “there’s some newer consoles in there too. Games as well. I noticed you spacing out a lot. Maybe you wanted something to do.”

Sicheng smiled softy, “thank you.”

Yuta shrugged with a grin, “don’t worry about it.”

Sicheng dug into the box and pulled out a small handful of games, looking them over curiously. His smile stayed on his face as he kept looking through the things. Yuta just watched him from across the table. Sicheng picked out a game, and despite the newer consoles on the table in front of him, he had picked one for the gameboy. He put in the game and turned on the console. The screen lit up and the console let out a little melody. The game was in Korean, but Sicheng understood most of the things it told him.

Without the boy noticing, Taeyong and Taeil had stopped their discussion. They had watched Yuta hand over the games he rarely had time for and for the first time they saw Sicheng smile in a way that wasn’t forced.

“He’s naive,” Taeyong muttered.

Taeil gave the other a look, “is that so bad?”

“In this business it is,” Taeyong said.

“He’s not in this business,” Taeil retorted.

Taeyong leaned forward, resting his head in his hands, “I guess not.”

Taeil smiled, “you look like a child when you do that.”

Taeyong raised an eyebrow at the older man, “so?”

“And now you sound like a child too.”

Without hesitation Taeyong stuck his tongue out at the man. Taeil laughed softly. He couldn’t help but enjoy moments like this. Moments where the child Taeyong used to be shined through the strong facade he otherwise put up. Even when he was only around the other members he would put up a front. As their leader he felt it necessary.

“Taeyong?”

Both Taeil and the leader turned to Hansol, who had appeared suddenly. No one in the group really got surprised by Hansol’s quiet nature anymore, not even if he seemed to almost sneak around.

“What’s up?”

“Am I in the club tonight?”

“Not tonight.”

Taeyong couldn’t help but smile at Hansol’s relief. He didn’t like keeping watch at the club, it wasn’t his scene. The music was too loud, he had complained before, and the amount of girls and occasional guys hitting on him made him irritated.

“I want you and Yuta to take one of the new kids, Mark, along for a few _meetings_ with some of our dealers.”

Hansol knew what that meant. Someone had stolen either product or profit. Both unacceptable. The blond nodded. He would take dealers over drunks any day.

“You got any plans for the other two yet?” Hansol asked, taking a seat.

Taeyong shrugged, “I figured I’ll send Jungwoo out with Jaehyun and Doyoung, I’m not sure about Lucas, though.”

“Why not?”

“He’s tall as a tower, so I want to send him out with Johnny,” Taeyong said.

Hansol hummed. He understood the reasoning. They didn’t know how the boys stood in a fight where they could retaliate, so sending Lucas out with someone half his height could be risky. Ten was a definite no-go, even if they’d seen him take down men twice his size. It was safer to send him out with someone they knew for sure could take him on if anything went wrong.

“Can’t you find a replacement DJ?” Hansol asked.

Johnny worked as main DJ in the club, _Club Culture_ , so usually he didn’t go out on missions between Thursday and Sunday, the days the club was open. Only if they found a replacement DJ, which wasn’t always easy. They had the bar set high, their club was well-known and popular. They couldn’t disappoint their patrons.

“I can’t just pick any random guy with a Soundcloud, though,” Taeyong frowned.

“That’s right,” Johnny broke in as he walked past, “I’ve set some pretty high standards.”

Taeyong let out a laugh, “right.”

“I know you want these missions over sooner rather than later, but maybe we can just focus on Mark and Jungwoo over the weekend? Lucas can go out with Johnny and someone else next week?”

Taeyong nodded at Taeil’s suggestion. It was definitely a possibility. He wanted to know if he could trust the boys, but perhaps it’d have to take a bit longer. Having three boys pass through the pledging was more than usual. That meant more missions with the current members babysitting the newbies.

Taeyong was about to answer Taeil’s suggestion when a gasp caught his attention.

Looking towards Sicheng he couldn’t stop the way his lips twitched slightly upwards. The boy was staring dejectedly at the console in his hands. The sound coming from it suggested that he’d just gotten a game over. Yuta was still smiling at the boy, obviously enticed by his innocent and naive nature. It wasn’t weird, after all that was a rarity in their lives.

“I guess you’ll have to practice,” Yuta teased.

Sicheng looked up at him with a pout. He huffed and restarted the game, determination in his eyes. Yuta chuckled.

Taeyong stood up and walked over, patting Yuta on the shoulder, “you and Hansol are going out with Mark tonight.”

Yuta looked up at him, “alright. What are we doing?”

“Dealing with dealers,” Taeyong said, “I want Mark to take care of at least one. Just show him how it’s done first, yeah?”

The last part was directed at both Yuta and Hansol, both of them nodding. It wasn’t a hard mission, nothing they hadn’t done before.

With the mission settled, Taeyong walked to the living room, catching the attention of Jaehyun, Doyoung and Ten.

“You’re in the club tonight, alright?” It was phrased like a question, but everyone knew it was an order, “you’re on guard, Jae.”

“Sure,” Jaehyun answered, “just me tonight?”

“Yeah, I want Kun back here. For obvious reasons.”

“Right,” Jaehyun said, looking towards Sicheng before returning his focus to the leader.

“You should probably apologize to him at some point,” Taeyong said, before walking back to the table and taking a seat again.

Jaehyun frowned. Doyoung giggled. Jaehyun sent him a glare.

“What?” Doyoung asked, “you can’t deny it, you’ve been a real dick to him.”

“Whatever,” Jaehyun said, “why does it matter?”

“God,” Doyoung groaned and rolled his eyes, “didn’t your parents raise you to have better manners?”

Jaehyun’s glare stayed on his face, “fuck off.”

Ten laughed from his end of the couch, making Jaehyun turn his glare towards him instead.

“Sorry, Jae, but he’s got a point,” Ten said, grinning, “we know you hate your parents, but it’s not like Sicheng has anything to do with them.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, “I’ll leave him alone, okay? Just get off my dick, Jesus.”

“Alright, alright...!” Doyoung laughed.

Ten just grinned at the frustration in Jaehyun’s voice. It was hard not to push the man, he reacted so easily. He really was their wild card, not even the members of NCT knew what to expect from Jaehyun most of the time. His lack of self-control and obvious anger issues were what made him hard to read. It was both good and bad. And he was petty. So terribly petty. They’d learned to live with it at this point, becoming attached and fond of Jaehyun’s spontaneous and unpredictable personality.

 

The night fell. Sicheng had moved to the couch, absorbed in the console Yuta had handed him earlier. He hadn’t payed much attention to the men around him, but he looked up when he noticed them all heading out. Jaehyun was dressed in an all black outfit; skinny jeans, blazer, undershirt and expensive-looking shoes. Ten and Doyoung were dressed rather nicely as well, only in black and white. Hansol and Yuta on the other hand looked dressed for practicality rather than style. Jeans and dark shirts, Yuta’s with long sleeves and Hansol’s with short. The general air around them was different too. They were serious in their expressions. Whatever they were doing was important. Johnny was the odd one out, the only one with any outstanding color in his outfit. He was wearing ripped jeans and a white t-shirt with a _very_ red jacket over. He pulled it off, though.

Sicheng silently watched them all leave. He couldn’t deny that he was curious regarding their different attires, but he didn’t say anything. He was left with Kun, Taeil and Taeyong as his only company. When they all took seats on the couch, looking serious, Sicheng knew that Taeyong wanted to continue the talk from yesterday. Without being told to, Sicheng turned off the console and put it on the table. He looked expectantly at Kun.

“ _You already know, huh?_ ”

Sicheng nodded, “ _it was only a matter of time_.”

“ _Honestly,_ ” Kun said, “ _we just want to know why? Why were you with that triad?_ ”

Sicheng looked away, “ _it’s a long story_.”

“ _We have plenty of time._ ”

A few seconds of silence. Sicheng was gathering his thoughts. He hadn’t thought about these things in a long time.

 

 

_The walk home was jarring. It always was. He never knew what would meet him when he came home. If only they would spare his mother._

_Sicheng kicked a rock as he walked._

_His mother didn’t the deserve the stress and fear. He hadn’t been that old when he realized why his mother’s eyes always seemed to be filled with tears. She was afraid. Always afraid. She told him that once she was afraid of what they’d do to his father. Later she would fear for herself. When Sicheng was born she feared for him. Sicheng on the other hand, had only ever feared what would happen to her. His father had only himself to blame if anything happened to him._

_A bird chirped somewhere close by. The spring had finally arrived. The trees had been growing buds for a while, but they finally seemed to open up. Flowers were returning, painting his walk home in pretty colors. It was supposed to be a happy time. A hopeful time of year. Sicheng hoped all year._

_He made it home. Everything was intact, but his parents were fighting. Nothing new. His dad was yelling, his mother was sobbing. Nothing new. Sicheng put his bag down and went to his mother, taking a seat by her side on the couch. Silently he took her hand. His father stopped yelling. His mother squeezed his hand and looked at him. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying. She placed a hand on his head, patting his hair before cupping his cheek gently._

_“Sicheng. My Sicheng,” she spoke softly, her voice gentle as it always was when she spoke to him, “you’re the prettiest little flower bud, you know? When you bloom, my Sicheng, no one will be able to look away.”_

_He just smiled. His mother always said those things. She moved her hand back to his hair, running her fingers through it._

_“Promise me, my baby, that you won’t ever change?” She smiled a bit more, “I want you to stay as sweet as you are pretty. Don’t let yourself be corrupted by the world. Stay this lovely forever.”_

_Sicheng nodded, “I will. I want to be someone that makes you proud, mom.”_

_She smiled, “you speak so well. You really are my perfect little boy. Smart, good and pretty as a flower.”_

_Just as Sicheng was about to say something there was a knock on the door. It was hard, determined. Threatening._

_His father swallowed. Sicheng felt his mother tense up, her smile disappearing. She pulled him into her arms, holding him close. His father went to the door and answered. Immediately someone started talking._

_“Where’s the money?”_

_“I-I don’t have it yet, but I’m getting payed-”_

_“Does it look like I care about your pay?! huh?!” The voice was deep and rough, spitting words at Sicheng’s father harshly._

_“I’m sorry, please, I can’t pay now. Just give me more time, I-”_

_“More time? I’ve been giving you more time and more time for years!”_

_Sicheng’s mother hugged him closer as his father was pushed aside. Four men entered their home. They were all dressed in black clothing. The man leading the way inside had no sleeves on his shirt. His arms were covered in tattoos. A red dragon snaked its way up his arm, stopping at his shoulder. He had a cigarette in his mouth._

_The man looked evil. That’s all Sicheng could think of him. His expression, his aura, everything told Sicheng this man was a bad one._

_“Who’s this?” The man asked, motioning towards Sicheng and his mother._

_“Please, don’t hurt them.”_

_“Who are they?!”_

_“My wife and my son,” Sicheng’s father said. The fear in his voice was evident. He was close to tears._

_The man pulled the cigarette from his lips, blowing out a cloud of smoke, “how old is he?”_

_“Please-”_

_“How old is he?” The man repeated, more stern this time._

_“Twelve. He’s twelve.”_

_The man stood quietly for a moment, simply smoking his cigarette, a thoughtful look on his face._

_“I’ll take him with me.”_

_“What?!”_

_“No!” Sicheng’s mother stood up, pulling Sicheng with her, away from the man._

_Sicheng’s father sunk to his knees, “please, no. I’d rather you killed me. Don’t take our boy,”_

_Sicheng had never seen his father cry until that moment, as he was on his knees, begging to die rather than give up his son._

_“This isn’t your decision,” the man said, “you should have payed.”_

_“Don’t take him, please!”_

_The man sent the three other men a look before nodding towards Sicheng and his mother. They all gave a curt nod back and walked towards them._

_“No!” Sicheng’s mother screamed, holding on to her son, crying and shaking her head, “don’t! Don’t take my baby!”_

_Sicheng was grabbing his mother’s dress, holding on as if his life depended on it. Which it might. One of the men grabbed his arm. His mother pulled him away, screaming and crying, begging them to leave, take something else._

_Everything happened so fast then. More screaming and crying. His parents called his name. He was crying himself. He must have called back for them. The hold on him was harsh. It hurt. His mother sounded like she was slowly dying, like she was being tortured. He struggled, he knew he did. He couldn’t see his parents anymore. The man holding him was following the leader with the tattoos. Sicheng kept crying, kept screaming. The leader turned around. His intimidating and scary eyes met Sicheng’s._

_The slap echoed. He wasn’t sure if it was just in his head or if the men heard it too. He was quiet then. In shock. They pulled him to a car and shoved him inside. They drove off._

_Sicheng cried quietly then._

 

 

“ _You don’t have to continue,_ ” Kun said, rubbing Sicheng’s arm.

Sicheng tried to hold it in, but he couldn’t help the tears that started to fall. Taeil was by his side suddenly, handing him tissues. Sicheng hadn’t even noticed that he had left to go get them. He thanked the man through his sobs.

Taeyong was in shock. He had no idea how to react when Kun translated the story. Taeil was the same way. The boy’s emotional state was reasonable in every aspect. How anyone could do that to a kid was beyond both of them. Taeil rubbed the boy’s back as he cried.

It was hard to breathe through the sobbing. Sicheng remembered why he didn’t think about these things. This was why. It hurt. His heart felt heavy, his lungs constricted. His eyes stung from the tears and his head started to throb. He had his face in his hands. He didn’t want to look up, knowing how he looked in that moment. Weak. Ugly. He hated it. Hated crying, hated his emotions, hated his fate.

“You have to breathe,” Taeil spoke softly, his hand still on Sicheng’s back.

He tried. Took deep breaths. It was hard when the crying wouldn’t stop. He moved his hands to his chest, grabbing harshly at the fabric of Doyoung’s shirt. Breathe in. Breathe out. He held his head down still.

A few minutes passed before Sicheng was breathing normally again. His tears had stopped too. He didn’t look up.

“Maybe it would help with a shower?” Taeil suggested.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Kun said, carefully placing a hand on Sicheng’s arm, “ _a shower will refresh you, come on._ ”

Sicheng quietly followed Kun as he pulled him along. They disappeared up the stairs, and Taeyong and Taeil was left alone in the living room.

Taeyong groaned, dragging his hands over his face. Clear frustration. He ran his hands through his hair, brows furrowed. Taeil watched him.

“What the fuck.”

Taeil shrugged. He didn’t know what to say. It was far from the worst story they’d heard from someone’s past. In their profession a horrible or troubled past seemed to be obligatory. But hearing it from someone like Sicheng, seeing him break down as if it had happened all over again, it affected them. The boy seemed so innocent, naive, but he was broken. That’s why he was so obedient. They’d broken him. Taeyong didn’t want to think about how much time the triad had used on making Sicheng that way. Turning him into nothing but a _thing_. It would be a lie to say they lived an easy life, him and his members, but they were still human. They still had their opinions, their feelings and their freedom. Hell, their freedom is what brought them to where they were. They made their own choices to be who they ‘d become.

But Sicheng...

Sicheng had none of that. It was obvious. He wasn’t allowed to have feelings. He wasn’t free, because he wasn’t human. Not in the triad. Taeyong feared that perhaps Sicheng didn’t see himself as human either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i just wanna thank you all again bc your comments are super sweet and they make me really happy, thanks so much ;u; please enjoy this chapter!

The shower was refreshing. Sicheng just stood under the warm water, letting it wash away the signs of his emotions getting out of control. He’d already cleaned himself, but he found it hard to get out of the shower. It relaxed his tense muscles and seemed to numb his thoughts. They weren’t as intrusive. He could block them out, the sound of the water drowned out the noise his head was trying to make.

It was hard to talk about the day he last saw his parents. Much harder than just randomly remembering the memories. Even if he hadn’t told Kun every detail of that day, every feeling of that time still washed over him like a wave. He didn’t want to remember it. It hurt too much. He hoped that he would get a break now. Just a day or two where he didn’t have to mentally relive those horrible memories. The first year was so terrible. It was only when he realized that fighting against orders was useless that he finally could be somewhat content with his situation. The leader was so much nicer to him when he just obeyed. It was so much easier than trying to fight what he was brought there to be. Just be pretty. Quiet. Obedient.

Sicheng finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He wrapped himself in the fluffy towel Kun had given him. He dried off slowly and got dressed equally as slow. He wasn’t sure whose clothes it was, since Kun had just handed it to him. A pair of loose black pants and a gray t-shirt. Sicheng still felt a bit put off by the plain look of the clothing, but he wasn’t about to complain over something so trivial.

Finally he left the bathroom and wandered downstairs. The three men that stayed back were talking quietly among themselves. Kun noticed Sicheng awkwardly standing by the stairs, still holding the damp towel.

“ _Come sit down if you want to,_ ” he said, “ _you can just hang the towel on one of the chairs._ ”

Sicheng nodded and did just that. He sat down in the corner of the couch and grabbed the little console once again, letting himself get distracted by the game Yuta had been so kind as to hand off to him. He had noticed that the news were on again, the TV’s default channel seemed to be a 24 hour news station. He guessed it made sense for the men to keep themselves updated.

Some time passed, Sicheng wasn’t sure how long, just that he’d died three times. A phone started ringing. It was Taeyong’s. He picked up quickly.

“Yeah?”

There was a pause, quite a long one at that. Taeil looked slightly concerned, but Taeyong looked more frustrated than anything.

“How do you know he isn’t lying?” Taeyong asked, skepticism clear in his voice.

Whoever was on the other end took their time answering. Taeyong let out deep sigh. Sicheng couldn’t quite place the feelings behind it. It could be more frustration, but it seemed pitiful at the same time.

“A week. Tell him to stay in town.”

There was something in his voice again. It left Sicheng wondering. Was it always like this with Taeyong? Every word and sound he made seemed to be ambiguous. The order seemed cold, but the pity from his sigh had stayed in the tone of his voice.

Taeyong hung up.

“What’s the problem?” Taeil asked. Kun leaned forward, also curious.

“One of our dealers stole profit, claimed he needed it to support his family,” Taeyong said, “when they visited him at his apartment his daughter looked sick. Like really sick, according to Yuta.”

“Shit,” Kun muttered, “that’s probably why he started selling in the first place.”

“Could be,” Taeil agreed.

Taeyong hummed, “I’ll go up, I need a smoke.”

Taeil frowned as Taeyong stood up, “I thought you were quitting?”

“Why does it matter anyway? It won’t be my lungs killing me in the end.”

The conversation ended there and Taeyong left, the sound of the front door shutting signaling that ‘up’ didn’t mean just up the stairs. The atmosphere was tense. Taeil left too, going upstairs, probably to the room he seemed to share with Taeyong.

Sicheng looked at Kun. He was frowning, deep in thought it looked like. Sicheng didn’t really understand the gang world fully, but he knew that these people around him were very different from his triad. They showed so much emotion, something the tried never did, even behind closed doors they stayed stoic and expressionless. He figured they were the same when they left for missions. But these guys, _NCT_ , they had to have a different bond, a different relationship than the triad members. They seemed like they were actually friends.

Kun met his eyes and Sicheng looked away, realizing he’d been staring.

“ _You okay?_ ”

“ _Yeah,_ ” Sicheng said, “ _I’m fine, just thinking._ ”

“ _About?_ ”

Sicheng shrugged, “ _it’s not important._ ”

Kun gave a hum and turned his attention to the news. Sicheng picked up his game again.

  

* * *

 

 

“What an idiot.”

Yuta laughed dryly, “I agree. But he probably felt like it was his only choice.”

Hansol rolled his eyes, “he doesn’t realize how dangerous stealing profit is. If he gets killed who’s going to help his daughter?”

“You know they don’t think about shit like that in the moment,” Yuta spoke, turning a corner, going down an almost empty road, “they panic.”

“Does this happen a lot?” Mark asked from the backseat.

“Not like this,” Yuta said, “they give excuses, but they can rarely prove it.”

“I see.”

Hansol turned his head, “are you ready to try this yourself?”

Mark nodded, “yeah, sure.”

“Good, ‘cause we’re here.”

Yuta parked the car, a black five-seater, and killed the engine. All three exited. Yuta lead the way, Mark and Hansol followed. One thing Mark had noticed during the late evening was that Hansol didn’t change much when they exited the car. He didn’t speak much and seemed to have a permanent frown on his face. However, Yuta could easily joke around a bit, he was friendly even, but as soon as he stepped out of the car he changed completely. The look in his eyes was cold and the air around him demanded respect.

They entered a shop, it was a small convenience store of sorts, but everyone in the area probably knew what happened in the back. A man stood behind the counter and when he looked up it was clear that he recognized Yuta and Hansol. His wide eyes drifted to Mark for a second too.

“Yuta, Hansol, what brings you here?” There was slight fear in his voice.

“Calm down, Sungjong,” Yuta said, “you’re good. Is Yoosung in the back?”

“Uh, yes,” Sungjong nodded, “you need to see him?”

“Yeah, I’d advice you to get your cleaning supplies ready.”

Sungjong just nodded quickly, letting the three walk through the _staff only_  door without further questions. He already knew.

Mark wasn’t surprised by how nasty it was in the back. He’d seen places like this before, low-tier dealer hangouts. It was dark and smelly, a bunch of gross looking dudes hanging around. They all sat or stood up straight when Yuta and Hansol entered, with Mark following close behind.

“Yoosung!” Yuta barked, making everyone flinch, “get over here.”

A man stood up. He was slim, not terribly tall. He had big eyes, they seemed to be too big for his face, like a bug’s. He looked terrified.

“You’ve been grabbing some product for yourself, haven’t you?” Yuta asked, but it wasn’t exactly that question he wanted answered. He wanted the reason why.

“Sorry..!” Yoosung exclaimed, his voice shaky. Mark noticed how the other men looked on with pity in their eyes.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Yoosung.”

“It was a fallback! I tried to stop, you know? But it’s hard!” Yoosung begged, “please, Yuta, can’t you give me another chance?”

Yuta tilted his head, “another chance? You know we don’t just hand those out.”

“Please...” Yoosung cried.

“Mark.”

“Right,” Mark said, stepping forward.

“Yoosung,” Yuta gave a fake smile, “this is Mark. Mark this is Yoosung.”

Yoosung looked from Yuta to Mark, eyes seemingly growing in size. He fell to his knees.

“Please, man!” His pleading were directed towards Mark now, “I don’t wanna die!”

“You should have thought about that earlier.”

Yuta smirked at the cold tone of Mark’s voice. He was a quick learner.

“Please...” Yoosung kept crying, “don’t kill me.”

Mark looked to Yuta, who simply nodded. He pulled a gun out, one that had been hidden under his shirt. He lifted it to Yoosung’s face, right between the eyes, execution style.

And fired.

The silencer killed most of the sound, but the result was the same. Yoosung fell backwards, blood seeping out of his head. He didn’t move. His big bug-like eyes were wide open, fear still evident even as his last breath had left him.

Yuta nodded, “good, let’s go.”

“Think of this as a warning,” Hansol said to the rest of the men, before they left the backroom.

As they walked out, Sungjong hurried in, black bags and cleaning supplies in hand.

When they were back in the car, Yuta turned around towards Mark, “you did good, kid.”

Mark smiled, “thanks.”

“That attitude you showed? That’s good. Keep it up around guys like those, sometimes you need to remind them who’s in charge. Especially the ones who think they get perks for being older than us.”

“Alright,” Mark nodded, “how many more are we meeting with?”

Yuta looked at Hansol, who pulled out the list they’d gotten earlier from Taeyong.

“Four more.”

“I think you and I will take one each then, Mark you get the last two.”

It wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order, but Mark made a sound of agreement nonetheless.

 

* * *

 

Doyoung placed the two colorful drinks on the counter, smiling at the two girls that had ordered them. They took the drinks, sending back flirty smiles. One of them disappeared into the crowd, but the other stuck around. She watched as Doyoung served other people. He had noticed, he was used to it by now.

“When are you off?” She asked, raising her voice to be heard over the music.

Doyoung smiled knowingly, “why are you interested in that?”

She grinned at him, batting her long eyelashes at him, “I think you know why.”

He leaned on the counter, getting a bit closer to her, “I’m off when we close, darling, so there’s still a long time to go.”

She pouted at him, “can’t you go on a little break then?”

Doyoung smiled at her, “it might be a Thursday, but you should be able to see how busy the bar is nonetheless.”

“Please?” She batted her eyes at him again, reaching over the counter to toy with the collar of his white dress shirt.

Doyoung took her hand, “come back later and ask again, maybe I’ll say yes then.”

He winked at her and she smiled, excited. She nodded and left the bar then, waving cutely at him. Doyoung shook his head with a smirk and went back to serving the people at the bar.

Ten walked over, “you’re gonna fuck her, or no?”

Doyoung shrugged, “I haven’t decided yet. I mean, she’s cute, so maybe? Taeyong’s probably sending me out with Jaehyun tomorrow, though.”

“I say go for it,” Ten said, “she obviously isn’t going for anything more than sex, and we’ll probably close early, so it’s not like you’ll be back too late. Or early I suppose.”

“I guess. Anyway, if I go along with it, she better not want more than sex,” Doyoung said, “it’s not like she’d want more if she knew what she’d get into.”

“You sure?” Ten said with a grin, “girls dig bad boys, you know?”

Doyoung handed off a small tray of six drinks, “I don’t think we really count as bad boys. We’re a bit more than leather jackets, motorcycles and acting like assholes.”

Ten nodded, “bad boy killers.”

Doyoung laughed, “that’s what you wanna call us?”

“Why not?”

“Touché.”

They went back to serving drinks, still occasionally throwing banter the other’s way.

Meanwhile Jaehyun was wandering the club, acting as a guard. He was dressed like the guards and bouncers working in the club, but he was there to keep watch. He kept an eye on suspicious behavior and more importantly, he kept an eye out for any rival gang members. It didn’t matter who it was, any rival coming to the club unannounced was a risk they couldn’t run. He had already had his fair share of girls and guys hitting on him. Had he been in the bar he’d agreed, definitely, but he was alone on watch.

He walked by the bar, stopped and watched with a frown as Doyoung sent off another girl. Jaehyun knew he got a lot of offers from girls himself, but Doyoung seemed to draw them in in hoards when he stood in the bar. Jaehyun imagined it was the outfit, the white dress shirt and the well-fitted black pants suited him. He’d dyed his hair black again recently, after getting tired of the dusty purple color he’d had before. That definitely only increased the girls offering him a night.

Doyoung met his eyes then and sent a smile his way. Jaehyun sent an acknowledging nod back. He repeated the action as Ten noticed him too and waved.

He started moving again. He didn’t hate being on watch-out, but clubs definitely weren’t as exciting when you were walking around sober. He couldn’t even defend taking a break with one of the people flirting with him, unless Yuta or Hansol came back and joined him on watch.

A big group of people entered the club just as he walked past the entrance, a bunch of guys. Jaehyun scrunched his nose up at them. Rich kids. He could tell from their clothing and accessories. And most importantly from the attitude that lingered over the group the second he saw them. He recognized a few of them. He knew they were conceited assholes, and their friends probably were the same way. All the guys from that part of society seemed to act the same and that fact that he had been that way too made Jaehyun want to vomit.

One of the guys noticed him. Jaehyun controlled his urge to grimace as he walked over, a stupid smile on his face.

“Yoonoh? How’s it going, man?”

Jaehyun wanted nothing more than to roll his eyes, “I’m good.”

“Yeah?” The guy crossed his arms, looking at Jaehyun with an annoyingly surprised look, “we thought you were dead, dude.”

Jaehyun frowned, “I’m not.”

“Anyway, how’s the pay here? Was it worth it giving up the perks from your parents? I can’t imagine that would be the case.”

The guy laughed. His laughter was annoying as all hell. Jaehyun contained his urge to punch the guy for his belittling tone.

“You still think it’s about the money? Haven’t you grown up since high school?”

The guy looked a bit shocked, “calm down, dude. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with money.”

Jaehyun looked away from him with a dry laugh. The guy didn’t even know where his parents’ money came from. But Jaehyun knew. When Taeyong informed him about some of SM’s biggest clients he was shocked at how many of his friends’ families were on the list.

“You think you’re better than us now or what?” the guy asked, “you know we all got more than just money. You know how much power we have. You gave it up, after all.”

Jaehyun looked at the guy in surprise, and the guy had the audacity to smile. He obviously though he’d scared Jaehyun. That was not the case.

Jaehyun stepped forward, getting all up in the guy’s face. He flinched a bit.

“You’re threatening me?” Jaehyun asked coldly, “you think you can touch me? Here’s some advice, for you and your friends. Grow up. Stop bragging about the money that you didn’t work for. You don’t have any power, your parents do. Me, on the other hand? I’m not only making money, I’m earning respect and power you can’t fathom. You underestimate how much I could ruin your life without any consequences.”

The guy swallowed hard as Jaehyun stepped back. He hurried back to the group and Jaehyun smirked victoriously at the cowardice. He went back to his job, ignoring the warning looks he caught from Ten and Doyoung when he walked past the bar again.

He felt a hand on his arm and turned to face a familiar girl. She smiled seductively at him, running her hand slowly up his arm.

“Hey Jae,” she said, her eyes clearly showing her intentions.

“Hey Joy,” Jaehyun said, “how can I help you?”

She pouted, “are you playing hard to get suddenly? You know what I want.”

“I’m on watch alone.”

Joy rolled her eyes, “seriously? I finally have time to get here and Taeyong’s clam jamming me?”

A laugh left Jaehyun, “he’s clam jamming you?”

Joy laughed as well, “yes! Obviously!”

“You look good, why don’t you just go find someone else?”

Joy smiled. She did look good, Jaehyun knew she could probably seduce everyone in the building. Her long dark hair framed her pretty face. She was wearing a classy makeup look, a red lipstick bringing attention to her lips. And she was showing of her body, her legs in particular, wearing a short dress in rainbow colors. Her heels only brought more attention to her long legs. She also wore a choker, in the same rainbow colors as her dress.

Her hand moved up to trace Jaehyun’s jawline as she leaned up against his side.

“You know why,” Joy spoke temptingly, “no one does it for me like you.”

Jaehyun wrapped an arm around her waist, turning his sight on the guests walking around, drinking, and dancing, “I know, but you also know I can’t leave.”

“Is he upstairs? Tae, I mean?”

Jaehyun hummed in confirmation, “but it won’t change anything to go talk to him.”

Joy huffed in frustration, her hand had landed on his shoulder now. She was still leaning against him, his arm still around her. Jaehyun knew what it looked like.

“What about Yu-”

“He’s on a mission with Hansol and an applicant.”

“Oh,” Joy frowned, “you got applicants?”

“Yeah, we had the pledging yesterday.”

“How many?”

“Three made it out.”

Joy looked surprised, “three? That’s pretty incredible. We were told to expect one at most.”

Jaehyun looked at her again, “you’re having a pledging soon?”

Joy nodded, “we requested it. We’d like just one or two more to help production.”

“Your pledging is less intense, yeah?”

Jaehyun went back to watching guests. Joy did the same.

“Yeah. We’re not out there like you guys, you know? It’s defense at most.”

“Right, you’re not picking the fights.”

“Nope,” Joy giggled, “that would be your job.”

Jaehyun sent her a teasing glare, knowing exactly why she was laughing. She refused to take his shit when he got moody. She wouldn’t even bother arguing with him if she didn’t deem him calm enough. Jaehyun had a feeling that was why he was so attached to her. There was a similar reason as to why he became close with his members. They weren’t afraid of confronting him.

“I saw you getting all up in some guy’s business before,” Joy said, “what was that about?”

Jaehyun sighed, “just someone I used to hang with. Fucking piece of shit, like the rest of them.”

They were both silent for a while. The music was loud, but even without it, there would have been no awkwardness left in the absence of words between them.

“When do you close today?”

Jaehyun shrugged, “depends on how many people stay around. Thursdays usually end early, but 5am is the latest.”

Joy pouted, “It’s barely past midnight! I have to wait five hours?”

Jaehyun laughed, “that’s up to you. You can always show off on the dance floor until then.”

“I guess,” she said, finally pulling away from Jaehyun, “I’ll make sure to send plenty of looks your way.”

“Please do.”

With a grin and a wave, Joy walked off into the crowd. Jaehyun’s full focus went back to watching. It was boring, but at least only one floor of the club was open so he didn’t have to go up and down all night.

And he could look forward to meeting up with Joy when the morning came around.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so chain mv huh? doyoung who? taeil what? jaehyun???? i only know dong sicheng aka winwin aka my boy who slayed his line even if it was only like 6 seconds

_“Boss,” the man’s grip was harsh on Sicheng’s arm, “no payment from Dong, but I figured his kid could be useful.”_

_Sicheng had been transported to a house, pulled through the hallways by the man with the dragon tattoo until they’d stepped into an office-like room. Sicheng had stopped crying by now, it felt physically impossible for more tears to come. His head hurt and his eyes were stinging._

_The chair behind the dark wood table swiveled around. A man sat there. He looked evil too. His eyes were sharp, mean, and his lips were turned downwards in a frown. He had a beard and Sicheng spotted a tattoo making its way up his neck from underneath his white dress shirt._

_The man leaned forward, elbows on the table, hands clenched. He looked Sicheng over, skepticism clear in his eyes._

_“Jiaolong, you can go.”_

_“Yes, boss.”_

_The man let go of Sicheng’s arm and left the room after giving a deep bow. The door closed behind him. Sicheng swallowed. He was staring at the deep red carpet on the floor._

_“What’s your name, boy?”_

_Sicheng answered softly, fiddling with his fingers._

_“I can’t hear you, boy,” the man said sternly, “speak up!”_

_“M-my,” he stuttered out, “my name is Sicheng.”_

_“Sicheng...” the man repeated, “Dong Sicheng, I take it?”_

_The boy nodded. The atmosphere was uncomfortable. Sicheng wanted to run away from it._

_The man stood up. He walked around his desk slowly. He stopped in front of it, leaning against it. He kept looking at the boy as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one, breathing in before blowing out a cloud of smoke. Sicheng looked up at the man hesitantly, avoiding meeting his eyes. He was observing Sicheng with a thoughtful look. The boy lowered his gaze again._

_“How old are you?”_

_“Twelve...”_

_Some time passed. The man reached forward, grabbing Sicheng’s chin and making him look up. Their eyes finally met directly. Sicheng froze. Like a deer in the headlights he stood staring his possible death in the face, unable to fight._

_“You should get used to it here, Sicheng, because you’re staying.”_

_Sicheng felt terrified. The man seemed to tower over him. The walls started closing in. He couldn’t breathe suddenly. He felt like he was falling into a dark abyss._

 

 

Sicheng sat up. He was in a cold sweat. Again. Another nightmare. The room was dark. Across from his bed Kun was sleeping. Doyoung was in his bed too. Jaehyun’s was empty.

Breathing heavily, Sicheng got out of bed. He hurried to the bathroom, without meeting Ten this time. He splashed his face with cold water. He inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. Repeat, repeat, repeat until he felt himself calm down. He dried his face.

He left the bathroom. There was a clock hanging on the wall in hallway. 6am. Sicheng jumped when the sound of the closing front door was heard. He curiously walked over to the stairs.

It was Jaehyun. He had turned on the lights downstairs and was on his way to the kitchen, but noticed Sicheng and stopped. He looked like he was contemplating options before he walked to the bottom of the stairs. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

“You okay?”

Jaehyun’s voice was uncharacteristically soft. Friendly almost, but also tired.

Sicheng nodded, “I’m fine.”

Jaehyun didn’t say anymore, he just went to the kitchen. Sicheng hurried back to the room, getting into bed and burying himself under the covers.

He heard Jaehyun enter not too long after, crawling into his own bed with a sigh. A satisfied sigh? Sicheng wasn’t sure, but it sure sounded like it. He wondered why. He still didn’t know where all the men had gone earlier. He’d fallen asleep long before they came back too. He wanted to ask Kun about it, but at the same time he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He still feared the men around him, how could he not? He just didn’t want to worsen it. It was like that in the triad too. If they just didn’t tell him the things they did, then he could just ignore it.

“Sicheng?” Jaehyun’s soft voice suddenly cut through the quiet of the room and Sicheng’s thoughts, despite being only a whisper.

“Y-yes?”

A few seconds passed. Had Jaehyun fallen asleep? Maybe he was a sleeptalker? Did Sicheng just imagine the other’s soft voice in the dark?

“I’m sorry.”

Sicheng looked at the lump that was Jaehyun in the bed to the right of his own. Had he really heard that right?

“Why?”

Jaehyun rolled unto his other side. Sicheng couldn’t make it out in the dark, but he knew Jaehyun was facing him now.

“What do you mean ‘ _why’_?”

Sicheng frowned, “why are you saying sorry?”

He heard a frustrated huff come from Jaehyun’s bed, “I’m sorry for being mean to you, okay? You didn’t deserve that. That shit was meant for someone else.”

Sicheng nodded, even if Jaehyun couldn’t see, “it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind?” Jaehyun sounded confused, “how could you not mind?”

“I’m just... me.”

“What?” Jaehyun’s confusion seemed to grow, “what do you-”

“Could you shut the fuck up?” Doyoung’s voice suddenly came from the other side of the room, “some of us have a mission tomorrow. That includes you, Jae.”

“Sorry,” Jaehyun said, without sounding like he really meant it, “fucking hell...”

“Sorry...” Sicheng muttered, sounding like he was apologizing for much more than accidentally waking someone up.

The room fell silent then.

 

* * *

 

 

They were eating breakfast together this morning. It was odd, at least to Sicheng. The men all sat around the table, eating and chatting. Except for Jaehyun, who was still sleeping. Sicheng ate silently, taking his time to enjoy the food. Taeyong and Kun had cooked, it was surprisingly good.

Sicheng was sitting between Kun and Doyoung. Taeyong sat across from him. He dared to look at him and admire his looks. Though all the men were handsome, objectively Taeyong had to be the best looking. His sharp yet delicate features and dark, intense eyes could lure anyone in. He had prominent eyebrows and pretty pink lips. He reminded Sicheng of a drawing, one of those drawings of people so beautiful that they couldn’t be real. But Taeyong was real and you could see his handsome face from every angle, not just one drawn on a piece of paper.

“Hey Jae, you’re up bright and early, huh?” Johnny spoke up, making everyone turn to the stairs.

Jaehyun looked like he could easily sleep for another hour or five. He mumbled something incomprehensible and sat down beside Ten. Johnny filled up a plate with food and handed it over to him. He started eating, eyes barely open.

Taeyong chuckled, “I thought you closed early?” He looked at Doyoung.

“We did,” Doyoung eyed Jaehyun with a smile, “but Joy came by around midnight.”

“Ah,” Taeyong smiled knowingly, “I hope this won’t influence your skills, Jae, ‘cause you and Doyoung are on a mission tonight.”

Jaehyun hummed and mumbled something. Sicheng couldn’t make out what he said, but apparently Taeyong could.

“Collecting payments. I want you to take Jungwoo with you.”

Sicheng’s eyes widened at the sound Jaehyun made then. A whiney groan. He almost sounded like a child.

Doyoung laughed, “I think the kid’s positive attitude makes Jae uncomfortable.”

“He’s a masochist or something, I swear...”

Laughter erupted around the table at Jaehyun’s sudden mumbled conclusion. They knew he was referring to the boy’s odd personality that he had showed at the pledging.

“For a second, let’s just act like he is,” Johnny said, smiling in a teasing way, “are you one to judge? I know you and Joy well enough to say that you’ve probably done some freaky shit yourself.”

Jaehyun sent a tired glare Johnny’s way.

“And if he is a masochist, isn’t he perfect for you then?” Doyoung asked, “maybe if he’s into guys he’ll let you push him around a bit.”

“Fuck off.”

Ten spoke then, “ _if_ he’s into guys? Don’t make me laugh.”

“That’s a good point,” Doyoung nodded, “if he’s into _you_ , Jae.”

Jaehyun sighed and rolled his eyes. He seemed to have woken up for real with all the teasing.

Sicheng kept quiet. He could feel himself blushing. The men spoke so casually about these things. Sicheng was inexperienced to say the least, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew what they were talking about. Dirty things.

“Who’s in the club tonight, Tae?” Yuta asked.

“Ten, Taeil and Kun in the bars, and you and Hansol on guard,” Taeyong said, “sorry Hansol.”

Hansol sighed, “it’s fine.”

“Are we opening downstairs?” Ten asked.

“Yup, you’ll be there, Kun and Taeil, you’re in the main bar.”

A chorus of _alright_ ’s came from the members.

 

Not much happened as the day continued on. Sicheng stayed in the room mostly, playing different games. Yuta fetched him for lunch, where he joined them all like he had for breakfast. He scurried back to the room afterwards.

He felt odd. He didn’t know what it was about the men around him, but they awoke something in him. He felt _too much_. He had to keep it in. If he just stayed in the room and focused on the games, maybe he could stop the feelings from coming out. They had too stay inside. Getting too emotional was useless. It wasn’t pretty and that’s what Sicheng had to be.

Right?

He didn’t actually know anymore. What he knew best was to stay quiet and pretty. But that was in the triad. What about now? Taeyong was his leader now, right? What did he want? Sicheng was deep in thought when a knock made him jump.

It was Taeyong himself who opened the door and stuck his head inside.

“Hey Sicheng,” he smiled softly, “you hungry?”

Sicheng realized that yes, he was hungry. He wasn’t sure how long he had been staring at the game over screen. He must have been thinking, spacing out, for a while. He nodded timidly.

Taeyong entered the room completely, “you fit Doyoung’s clothes pretty well, right? I think we should find something a bit more fancy.”

Sicheng blinked, “fancy? Why?”

Taeyong sent him a smile, “I don’t feel like cooking, I figured we’d go out to eat.”

“Out...” Sicheng muttered.

Taeyong opened one of the closets and rummaged through it. Sicheng just watched him curiously. He closed the closet doors, handing Sicheng some clothing.

“I’ll go change too, alright?”

Sicheng just nodded and Taeyong left with a smile. Sicheng changed. He was actually pleased with the clothing. It was pretty. The pants were black, a bit on the tight side, with black shiny embroidery down the sides. With them he was wearing a white dress shirt. From beneath the collar, down the shoulders and halfway down the sleeves there were flower embroidery in pinks, greens and yellows.

He left the room. Taeyong stood waiting for him. He was dressed nicely. A black blazer over a white dress shirt. Black pants and black shoes. Fairly simple.

“Here, lift your head.”

Sicheng followed the order, looking upwards. Taeyong sprayed him with a bit of cologne. It was a nice smell, light and fresh.

Taeyong looked Sicheng over and seemed to deem him fit for wherever they were going.

They left then- Sicheng had to wear the embroidered shoes he had worn when the group attacked the triad. It didn’t fit the rest of the clothing. He frowned a bit when he put them on, but brushed off Taeyong’s concerns when he asked about it. He shouldn’t complain.

Taeyong led the way down to the parking lot behind the building again. They walked to one of the flashier cars instead of the black vans. A deep burgundy colored car. Taeyong opened the door in the passenger’s side, letting Sicheng get in. Taeyong got in behind the wheel.

“We’ll stop by a shoe store on the way,” Taeyong said.

Sicheng looked at Taeyong with light surprise, “why?”

Taeyong smiled, “I could tell it bothered you that the shoes didn’t match.”

“Oh.”

Sicheng was a bit surprised. Not so much in regards to Taeyong figuring out that the shoes not matching upset him. With his role he probably had to be good at reading people, right? It was the fact that he bothered to do something about how Sicheng felt that was surprising. It was unnecessary, really, Sicheng thought. After all why would his mood or feelings matter to Taeyong? It wouldn’t be the end of the world if Sicheng was upset. It didn’t really change anything for anyone how he felt.

They went to a fancy store with a pretty and detailed interior. Sicheng quietly admired the place as Taeyong picked out a pair of shoes. A shiny black pair with a white pattern on the back that fit the embroidery on Sicheng’s shirt and pants.

“You like them?”

Sicheng looked at Taeyong and nodded, “yes. They’re pretty.”

“Good,” Taeyong said, “then we can go.”

“Thank you so much,” Sicheng said shyly, as he followed Taeyong out after he had payed.

Taeyong held open the car door for the boy and smiled, “don’t mention it.”

They both got back into the car and Sicheng watched out the window. It had gotten darker outside, not completely dark, but the street lights were on. The stores and restaurants they drove past helped light up the road. Many people were out. The restaurants looked full and couples and groups of friends were everywhere.

Taeyong drove into a parking lot. Sicheng didn’t know that a parking lot could look fancy. A black fence with a gothic look surrounded the back and the side that didn’t lead up to the establishment it belonged to. Black metal vines crawled along the top of the fence, a few flowers stuck in eternal bloom. The lights around the parking lot fit the same style. They were black and had an old look to them, plenty of details on especially the bottom as well as around the light at the top.

They got out of the car. Taeyong held out his arm, and Sicheng hesitantly looped his own arm with the leader’s.

Sicheng looked admiringly at the restaurant as they walked to the entrance. It was a mix of old-fashioned and gothic style. So many pretty and deliberate details everywhere. The colors were dark, but warm. Many deep reds and purples.

“A table for two, please.”

The waiter didn’t even look up when he answered Taeyong, “have you ordered a table?”

Sicheng looked at Taeyong, who frowned. It wasn’t disappointment on his face, he didn’t seem surprised either. He looked offended.

Taeyong cleared his throat.

The waiter looked up. His face went from conceited dismissiveness to fear in less than a second. Sicheng was bit shocked. He feared Taeyong himself. The look he had gotten and the stern, intimidating tone of his voice had frightened Sicheng into immediate obedience. Not that that wasn’t his usual state. But the waiter, how did he know to fear Taeyong? Sicheng wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“T-table for two, coming right up!” The waiter stuttered out, leading Sicheng and Taeyong to a booth in the back of the restaurant. They sat down across one another and the waiter quickly handed them both menus.

Taeyong quietly started looking through the menu. Sicheng opened his as well, looking over the Korean characters. He frowned. He recognized some words, but not enough for him to fully understand what each dish actually was. He looked at Taeyong again. He was still scanning the page.

“Taeyong?” Sicheng’s voice was soft.

Taeyong looked up, “yes?”

“I, uh, I don’t understand...” Sicheng motioned to the menu, embarrassed.

“Oh,” Taeyong laughed sheepishly, “sorry, I forgot.”

Taeyong called over a waiter, who quickly supplied Sicheng with a menu in Chinese. He quietly thanked Taeyong and looked through the menu, now fully understanding the words on the page.

They placed their orders and sat silently for a bit.

“Do you want some learning books?”

Sicheng looked at Taeyong, “learning books?”

“Yeah,” Taeyong shrugged, “I think it would be best. Since you’re staying with us, you should know the language, right?”

Sicheng nodded, “right. I’ll try my best.”

Taeyong smiled, “that’s all I’m asking.”

It was a bit baffling how different Taeyong looked depending on whether or not he was smiling. He had this intense look in his eyes that seemed the strongest when he was frowning. He looked dangerous. He _was_ dangerous, obviously, Sicheng knew that. But he felt that even if he knew nothing about Taeyong’s _work_ he’d still know to be wary of him. He had that aura. A leader’s aura. He wasn’t one you messed with, you gave him your respect. But when he smiled, the look in his eyes seemed to soften. He looked genuine. Sicheng decided he liked Taeyong more when he smiled. He was prettier. He looked younger, the intense aura died down and he just looked nice. Friendly and welcoming. Sicheng felt a bit sad that Taeyong couldn’t show this side very often.

“Do I have something on my face or what?” Taeyong asked, still smiling.

“Uh,” Sicheng looked away in embarrassment, “nothing. Sorry.”

Taeyong kept his eyes on Sicheng. It was evident that he had troubles with social interaction. Probably because of his treatment in the triad. Taeyong had a hunch that the fact that they were closer to his age didn’t help. As far as he knew, all the members of the triad were older than himself and his members. Perhaps the more youthful and friendly energy between the NCT members confused Sicheng more than it made him comfortable. He had obviously been taught to have a strict sense of respect, but it seemed he didn’t expect any in return.

“Your food,” the waiter got the attention of both Taeyong and Sicheng.

He placed their food and drinks down in front of them. Taeyong thanked him, but his smile was gone. Sicheng just stayed quiet. Taeyong really didn’t smile for just anyone. Why did he smile at Sicheng?

“Can I offer you our best wine? On the house, of course.”

Taeyong shook his head, “I’m driving, so no thanks. Sicheng?”

Sicheng blinked, but then shook his head as well, “no, thank you.”

The waiter nodded, “I see, please enjoy your food.”

They started eating. Sicheng’s eyes widened a bit at how great the food was. Taeyong noticed. He smiled secretly. The boy really was endearing.

The dinner was mostly silent. Taeyong tried to keep small talk flowing, but Sicheng’s answers were so short that it was hard to get a conversation going. He hoped that the boy would improve his Korean skills with some help.

When they finished and the waiter had taken care of their plates, Taeyong got out his wallet.

“Before you get ready to leave,” the waiter was by their table again, “can we offer a free dessert for you two? We offer only the best quality Italian ice cream.”

Taeyong didn’t miss how Sicheng seemed to perk up at the mention of ice cream, and so he accepted the offer.

It didn’t take long before the waiter returned with a bowl. Five different colored scoops of ice cream topped off with whipped cream and fruits. Sicheng looked on excitedly as the bowl was placed between them. The waiter handed them each a spoon and napkin. He also placed the bill on the table before giving a small bow and walking off.

Sicheng took the first spoonful and Taeyong watched in amusement as his eyes lit up. He clearly liked the dessert. Taeyong started eating as well, though slowly. He was more interested in seeing the boy in front of him actually looking like he was in a good mood. Taeyong figured that Sicheng was good at closing off and focusing his attention on one thing alone. The way he looked to be completely in his own world, similarly to when he played the games from Yuta, it was actually a bit worrying. It made Taeyong think of it as a some sort of defense mechanism. He seemed completely oblivious to his surroundings.

When the ice cream was gone and Taeyong had payed, they walked back towards the entrance, their arms looped once again. Taeyong sent a nod at the waiter that he had scared earlier. The waiter sent a nod back, forcing a smile. He still looked frightened.

On the way to the car a voice suddenly called out, “Tae! Long time, no see!”

Taeyong tensed up and Sicheng saw his intense and frightening aura return, stronger than he’d ever seen it. He turned around, discreetly pushing Sicheng behind him.

“Bobby,” Taeyong acknowledged as a man got closer.

The man that walked over was about Sicheng’s height, probably a bit taller. He had sharp features. The look on his face was challenging. A girl hung unto his arm, a blonde with straight bangs and big eyes. She looked equally as provocative. They were both dressed in black and white with gold accessories.

“Who’s your _friend_?” Bobby asked, eyeing Sicheng.

“I could ask you the same,” Taeyong spoke, pulling Sicheng a bit closer.

“Oh right,” Bobby chuckled, “this is Lisa. She’s new.”

“Hey,” the girl smirked and held out her hand.

Taeyong shook her hand. His face was close to expressionless, his slight frown was the only thing revealing his dissatisfaction.

“Now,” Bobby said, “shouldn’t you introduce him?”

Taeyong sighed in frustration. He grabbed Sicheng’s arm and pulled him to his side.

“This is Winwin.”

Bobby blinked, “Winwin? No way that’s his name.”

“He’s a foreigner.”

“Where’s he from?”

Taeyong could tell Lisa was a foreigner too. He just had to say any country that wasn’t hers. He couldn’t have her calling his bluff. He didn’t want any rivals knowing about Sicheng. It could be dangerous. Taeyong did a quick process of elimination based on Lisa’s features, choosing a country he felt certain wasn’t her home country.

“Taiwan.”

Bobby raised an eyebrow, “is that so? You’re really busy with recruiting foreigners, huh?”

“He’s a business partner, not a member.”

Sicheng didn’t miss the way Taeyong squeezed his arm. He knew what it meant. _Play along_. He’d done this before. He could fake a different personality pretty well, as long as the conversation didn’t escalate beyond the phrases he had been forced to perfect.

Bobby shrugged and turned to Sicheng, holding out his hand, “nice to meet you, I’m Bobby.”

“Winwin,” Sicheng smiled calmly, shaking Bobby’s hand.

He was terrified on the inside. Taeyong obviously didn’t like this guy. That probably meant he was a rival of some sort. Which made him dangerous.

Taeyong hid his surprise at the way Sicheng spoke. He had somehow pulled a complete 180. The fearful and naive boy had suddenly disappeared. Beside him stood now a confident and calm young man, politely introducing himself as someone he wasn’t. Not to mention the way he said this fake name, it only made him sound more legit. He seemed to purposely wrap his Chinese accent around it, making it sound more exotic.

Lisa reached out her hand as well, “I’m Lisa. It’s nice to meet another foreigner. It doesn’t happen too often.”

Sicheng shook her hand, “likewise.”

Lisa grinned at him, suddenly smitten it seemed. Taeyong couldn’t deny it either. Sicheng’s calm voice and inviting smile was charming. He hadn’t really thought about Sicheng’s voice before. It was deep and smooth. It sounded alluring when he spoke without a stutter or hesitance.

“What do you work with, Winwin? If you’re a business partner, I mean.”

Sicheng kept his smile, “I can’t tell you that. I apologize.”

The way he talked was so professional. If Taeyong hadn’t heard the boy struggle with Korean with his own ears he would have thought him fluent.

“We’ll get going now,” Taeyong spoke, looping his arm with Sicheng’s, “I’ll see you around I suppose.”

Bobby and Lisa gave short goodbyes and Taeyong led Sicheng back to the car. They got in and Taeyong drove off quickly.

He heard Sicheng sigh beside him and when he looked at him the boy was back. He was fiddling with his fingers, biting his lip and furrowing his eyebrows.

“What the hell was that?”

Sicheng didn’t look up, “I... I learned it.”

“How do you learn that? That was a completely different person!” Taeyong exclaimed, “your Korean was close to flawless.”

“Guests,” Sicheng said quietly, “in the triad. Sometimes they had guests.”

“Korean guests?”

Sicheng nodded.

“And the attitude?”

Sicheng shrugged, “I had to be... I don’t know the word.”

Taeyong sighed. The boy really was a mystery. There was no doubt that the Sicheng beside him, the naive and hesitant boy, was the real Sicheng. But the fact that he could pull out such a personality, confident, calm and charming, it was baffling. Taeyong hadn’t even seen any of his members change like that. And it happened in the wink of an eye no less.

A mystery indeed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanna let you guys know (in case you care ha ^^') that it might be a while until the next update, i got exams u know? i hope you'll stick with me and my story despite the little pause, thanks!

“So,” Jungwoo spoke from the backseat, “what do you do if they can’t pay?”

“Take a wild guess,” Jaehyun said.

Doyoung rolled his eyes, “depends on their excuse and whether or not they can prove it.”

Jungwoo hummed, “and if their excuse don’t hold up?”

“You’ll see,” Doyoung replied, “there’s always someone who can’t pay.”

“Alright, I’ll look forward to it.”

Jaehyun and Doyoung shared a look. There was something about Jungwoo’s light and gentle voice saying stuff like that that weirded them both out. Doyoung didn’t mind all that much, he couldn’t be all that upset while seeing how much it got to Jaehyun. It was amusing to see Jaehyun grimace because he was uncomfortable.

Jaehyun pulled up outside a store, a small family owned shop with knickknacks and stuff like that. Nothing too exciting, but they sold well. They exited the car and Jungwoo followed as Jaehyun and Doyoung lead the way inside.

An older woman stood behind the counter. She looked up when the bell above the door rang. She smiled kindly at Doyoung, who walked up to the counter.

“Hello dear, how have you been?”

Doyoung smiled back, “we’ve been good.”

“Oh!” The woman exclaimed, “you have a new friend with you?”

“Yes, this is Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo bowed with a polite smile, “hello.”

The woman clasped her hands together, “what a handsome young man, you are!”

Jungwoo smiled shyly, “oh? Thank you.”

“But those bruises...” she tsk’ed, “you should be careful, dear.”

Jungwoo nodded, “I will, don’t worry.”

“That’s good, dear. And Jaehyun, what about you, darling? Are you well?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“And Joy? How is she? I haven’t seen her in a long time. She’s such a sweet girl.”

“She’s fine too,” Jaehyun said, “I saw her recently.”

The woman nodded thoughtfully, “you have to bring her along sometime soon, I found a nice little bracelet I think she’ll like.”

Jaehyun nodded, “right, I’ll bring her along when she has time.”

“Oh, good!” The woman smiled happily, “now, i know you’re busy bees, I’ll go find the money. You just wait right here.”

She disappeared out back, humming joyfully.

“I shouldn’t get used to this, right?”

Doyoung looked at Jungwoo, “no. The married couple running this store are very good at paying, so we’re on good terms.”

“It’s because of the placement too,” Jaehyun said, “they gladly pay for protection because they’re right on the edge of JYP territory.”

“JYP?” Jungwoo questioned.

“Yeah,” Doyoung nodded, “technically they’re rivals, but we can usually sort things out with them verbally. It’s just a precaution for this couple. If we can’t compromise with our rivals, then they’re still safe. They won’t be caught in the middle of a gang showdown.”

“I see,” Jungwoo spoke.

The woman returned, carrying a metal box with a pretty pattern. She handed to Doyoung.

“Don’t forget to return the box, darling.”

“Of course, we’ll come by with it sometime next week.”

With that the three young men bowed politely, bidding the woman goodbye. They left the shop in the same way they entered, with Jungwoo following Jaehyun and Doyoung. They got back into the car and drove off, towards their next destination.

“Who’s next?” Jaehyun asked.

“Dawon and Dabin.” Doyoung stated, “they’re on their last chance.”

Jaehyun hummed, “get ready then, Jungwoo, you’re about to see what happens when people can’t pay.”

“Alright,” Jungwoo’s gentle and joyful voice came from the backseat.

It wasn’t long before they arrived. An array of tall buildings towered over them as they stepped out of the car. Cheap apartments. They walked up to one of the buildings and Doyoung pulled out a set of keys. Jungwoo recognized them as bump keys, and Doyoung quickly got the door open. He’d obviously picked that specific lock before.

“You wanna get the elevator?”

“Sure,” Jaehyun shrugged, “see you up there.”

Doyoung and Jungwoo took to the stairs. It was a bit of a walk, but they made it to the 12th floor. Jaehyun was already there waiting for them. He knocked on one of the two doors on that floor when he saw them.

No answer.

Jaehyun and Doyoung shared looks. Jaehyun knocked again, harder this time.

Still no answer.

Doyoung stepped back, pulling Jungwoo with him. Jaehyun didn’t even hesitate, he kicked the door with incredible power. The door swung open, knocking against the wall inside. Jungwoo blinked, a bit surprised by the sudden action.

“Come on,” Doyoung spoke and they made their way inside.

The hallway was empty, so was the bathroom and bedroom. They made it to the living room and Jaehyun crossed his arms with a frown, leaning against the door frame.

“Were you just planning on ignoring us?”

Jungwoo watched the couple in the living room. They were fairly young, it looked like. The woman was pale and quite slim, skinny even. She didn’t look up when Jaehyun spoke. She wrapped her arms around herself.

The man stood up, a lanky guy with a patchy beard. He was fidgety and his posture was bad.

“L-listen,” he started, sounding on the verge of tears, “we can’t... not this month, but-”

“But next month you’ll pay, right?” Jaehyun said, “we’ve heard that excuse before. Too many times in fact.”

The woman picked at the skin around her nose and lips, she still didn’t look up, “please... a little more time.”

Jaehyun casually pulled out a gun, “you’ve had plenty of time to get the money, you probably used it on drugs, yeah?”

“We- we bought from your dealers,” the man said, “so, really, we did pay, right? We still payed you.”

Doyoung laughed dryly, “that’s not how it works, Dawon. You don’t pay back your loan by buying from us.”

“One more chance, just one-”

The man fell backwards, immediately silenced by a shot to the head. Jaehyun didn’t show an ounce of guilt as he watched the blood run down the man’s face and pool around his head.

The woman looked wide-eyed at the man, but she didn’t say anything. She just watched. Jaehyun walked past the man’s body until he stood across from the woman, only a coffee table between them.

She finally looked up.

Her eyes were red rimmed. Her lips were chapped and the skin around her nose looked irritated. Her cheeks looked sunken, there was a lack of fat on her face. She looked like she was already dead.

Jaehyun lifted the gun again. She didn’t beg. She just closed her eyes and accepted the bullet. Her body fell back and sunk into the couch.

“Alright,” Jaehyun put the gun away, “let’s move.”

Doyoung and Jaehyun walked to the door. Jungwoo looked at the couple for a few seconds before following the two men.

“You’ll take care of the next ones, Jungwoo,” Doyoung said, getting into the car.

Jungwoo got into the backseat, “alright. I can do that.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Doyoung said with a small smile.

Jungwoo grinned, “I’ll try my best to not disappoint.”

 

* * *

 

“We have to talk about it at some point, you know?”

Sicheng looked up from his game. Taeyong was looking at him with an unreadable expression. Sicheng nodded. He figured Taeyong wanted a better explanation than Sicheng could give in Korean. They’d have to wait for Kun to be able to translate.

“I just don’t understand how you changed like that?”

Sicheng just shrugged. He didn’t know how to explain himself, at least not properly. He hoped being exposed to the men’s Korean would help him improve his own. He appreciated Kun’s help, but he wished he could speak for himself more comfortably. He wanted to answer properly when he was spoken to. That’s what he had learned. It was just hard to do when he didn’t know the language that well.

“You said you had to be... something, right?” Taeyong asked.

“ _Reserved,_ ” Sicheng spoke, “ _likable, but withdrawn. Charming, but not inviting. pretty, but not tempting._ ”

Taeyong raised an eyebrow. The way Sicheng spoke. He was repeating an order. He repeated what he had been told. Even if it was in Chinese, Taeyong recognized an order when he heard one. He got up and Sicheng looked curiously at him.

“Wait here.”

So he did. Sicheng put down the game. He didn’t feel like playing. The newscaster on the TV was talking at a low volume. Sicheng just watched her talk, barely registering the sounds leaving her mouth. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Taeyong returned.

“Here,” Taeyong said, handing Sicheng a thick book.

A dictionary. Chinese to Korean. Sicheng looked up at Taeyong, a bit confused.

“Find those words. I want to know how you were supposed to act.”

“Alright...” Sicheng muttered.

He flipped through the pages, finding the words one by one and showing Taeyong the Korean equivalent. Each time Taeyong would just nod. He didn’t comment on it. Just hummed in acknowledgement when Sicheng had translated all the words.

There was a silence between them then. It felt heavy and uncomfortable to Sicheng. He played with fingers. He still didn’t feel like picking the game back up.

“You don’t have to be so worried, you know?”

Sicheng looked up and met Taeyong’s eyes. The man scooted closer and gently put a hand on Sicheng’s shoulder. Sicheng saw nothing but sincerity in the man’s eyes. It made him want to run away. It was too confusing to deal with. He wasn’t used to this. Sicheng was only allowed to show so many feelings himself, but those around him, he was so used to them being unemotional. The sudden change put him on constant edge. They had to be messing with him, right? Testing him?

“Sicheng, hey,” Taeyong gave him a little shake, “you’re spacing out again. I need you to listen and try to understand, alright?”

Sicheng nodded hesitantly, “okay...”

Taeyong sighed, “I won’t get mad if you don’t understand everything. I won’t get mad at you for little things, okay? You don’t have to be so scared. No one in this house wants to hurt you. I know what we do isn’t... right. But we’re not evil people.”

The boy looked away. It was too much. He couldn’t look into Taeyong’s eyes. He felt lightheaded. His chest tightened. He swallowed thickly. His eyes were stinging. God, he was pathetic. He had been taught to follow so few orders in the eight years he lived with the triad and he couldn’t even do it. His emotions shouldn’t get the best of him like this. He was just weak. Why did these men have to push him this way? Couldn’t they just treat him like he was supposed to be treated?

“Sicheng, look at me.” Taeyong cupped his cheek and made them face each other again, “I’m serious, okay? We aren’t going to hurt you. And the things you learned in the triad? Try to forget them, we aren’t like that. Regardless of your place in relation to NCT, you’re still human and we’ll treat you like that.”

“Please...” Sicheng forced out, fighting against his tears, “stop... stop saying those things...”

Taeyong blinked at him, “Sicheng, you deserve respect just like anyone else-”

“Stop!” Sicheng interrupted, voice high-pitched and panicked. He rose to his feet and stumbled away from Taeyong so quickly that he almost fell. He backed up until he felt one of the armchairs behind him. He grabbed unto it, breathing heavily.

Taeyong stood up, “shit, Sicheng...”

He hurried over, hesitantly placing a hand on the boy’s back. He softly told the boy to breathe, guiding him to inhale and exhale until his breathing was somewhat normal again. Taeyong rubbed his back comfortingly.

Sicheng looked up at him, with wide eyes full of tears he refused to let fall. Taeyong knew the boy didn’t want to cry in front of others. No one did, but Sicheng’s disdain for it was beyond that of a normal person.

“Maybe you should head to bed? It’s a bit early, but you seem tired... you can grab some Doyoung’s clothes to change into.”

Sicheng sniffled and nodded, “alright...”

Taeyong watched as Sicheng shuffled upstairs, looking so terribly sad. It actually made the leader’s heart hurt. He didn’t usually care about anyone but his members, but Sicheng was just so naturally endearing. It seemed impossible to not want to take care of him. He knew Yuta, Kun and Taeil felt similarly, and he had a hunch that it only was a matter of time before Doyoung would admit to the same. He could only imagine that the other members would starts showing the boy more care soon as well.

With a sigh, Taeyong got up and went off to the meeting room to find some of his paperwork. He might as well get some of it done, he figured. He still had to play his part as a leader despite worrying about the boy that had so suddenly become a part of his and his members’ lives.

 

It was well past midnight when the sound of the door opening made Taeyong’s focus leave the papers in front of him.

Doyoung and Jaehyun entered. Taeyong furrowed his brows.

“What the hell happened?”

Jaehyun had a bruise under his left eye and blood had dried around his nose.

“Jinsung wasn’t so keen on paying,” Doyoung said with a shrug.

“Fucking asshole,” Jaehyun said. He touched his cheekbone and hissed.

“Don’t touch it, you idiot.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes, “how did Jungwoo do?”

“Good,” Doyoung said, taking a seat, “he took out Jinsung as soon as he started swinging.”

Jaehyun made a disagreeing sound.

“ _ _Almost__ as soon as he started swinging,” Doyoung corrected himself, “with a knife too.”

Taeyong raised an eyebrow, “Jungwoo’s the knife kid Hansol mentioned?”

Doyoung shrugged again, “I think so. He certainly knew how to use that knife.”

“So Jinsung’s gone?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung said, “a bloody mess. Dabin and Dawon are gone too.”

Taeyong sighed, “I figured as much. Everyone else payed?”

“Yeah, albeit they weren’t all too happy about it.”

“Nothing unusual, I guess,” Taeyong said, “if you aren’t too worn out, Doyoung, I’m sure Yuta and Hansol would appreciate you on watch down in the club.”

“Sure, I’ll go help them out.”

“Be quiet when you go find your clothes, Sicheng is sleeping.”

Doyoung smiled knowingly, “alright.”

He disappeared upstairs. Jaehyun took a seat across from Taeyong.

“I didn’t think Jinsung could hit that hard. He’s a scrawny guy.”

Jaehyun huffed and leaned back into the chair, “me neither. That little bastard was fast too.”

Taeyong pushed his papers away, “are you still on the fence about Jungwoo?”

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun shrugged, “he’s just fucking weird. I don’t know what to think.”

“Weird how?”

“He’s just...” Jaehyun sighed, “he really likes this profession, I think. He __really__ likes it.”

Taeyong raised an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

“Don’t get me wrong, he seems trustworthy, Doyoung thinks the same...”

“But?”

“But I think he likes the violence.”

“You do too?”

“Not like that!” Jaehyun exclaimed, “I like to let off steam and shit, you know? But he enjoys it, I think. Really enjoys it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Taeyong said, “but if he can control himself, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

Jaehyun was quiet for a while, “I just think we should keep him away from Sicheng if they eventually start living with us.”

Taeyong leaned forward, resting his chin in his hand, “why do you say that?”

Jaehyun crossed his arms and looked away, “no reason.”

“No reason?”

A pause. Jaehyun kept his eyes averted. Taeyong watched him curiously.

“I apologized to him.”

Taeyong blinked, “you did?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun sighed, “but he didn’t seem to care.”

“No?”

“No, it was really weird,” Jaehyun said with a frown, “like he didn’t want me to apologize? I don’t know...”

Taeyong was about to answer when Doyoung came down the stairs again. He bid them goodbye, and left. Taeyong knew that the club got especially crowded and busy on Fridays and Saturdays, so Doyoung’s help would be appreciated by the others. He would have asked Jaehyun too, had it not been for the bruise he’d gotten.

He looked at Jaehyun for a bit. The younger man was obviously in deep thought. The thing about Sicheng seemed to bother him because he didn’t know why the boy acted as he did. Taeyong sighed, knowing he might as well let Jaehyun in on some of the boy’s thoughts. He would have to relay everything to his members at some point anyway.

“He doesn’t think he has worth.”

“Huh?” Jaehyun looked at Taeyong, obviously confused.

“Sicheng.” Taeyong sighed, “I don’t know exactly what he thinks of himself, but it’s not good.”

Jaehyun furrowed his brows, “he told you that?”

“Not directly, but the things Kun has translated says a lot. He wasn’t really treated with respect in the triad. He really seemed to be a decoration rather than a person, in the eyes of the triad members.”

Jaehyun didn’t answer. He was frowning. Taeyong understood. Sicheng had looked so valued when they first found him. Dressed in nice clothing of high quality. His hair was cut in a pretty style that fit the fine features of his face. He looked like a lot of money was spent on keeping him pretty.

Taeyong had thought Sicheng would be a useless spoiled child, but he was far from it. He was too respectful, too quiet and too worried about pleasing others. The reaction the boy had shown earlier was a shock, but Taeyong hoped it meant that he could learn to step out of his shell. Even if it meant pushing him to it.

“I’ll go to bed,” Jaehyun stood up, “I’ll be quiet.”

They both said goodnight and Jaehyun walked upstairs. He went to the bathroom and got ready before heading to the shared room. He entered quietly and kept the lights off. He pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor by his bed. He couldn’t be bothered to go back to the bathroom with it. He was exhausted. The hit he had taken sucked, but it was really Jungwoo that had tired him out. The younger boy was hard to read. Jaehyun felt mentally worn out by considering Jungwoo’s personality and what it stemmed from all night.

Sicheng turned in his bed and Jaehyun automatically turned towards the sound. His eyes had gotten used to the darkness, so he could see the boy was still sleeping. He sighed and walked to his closet, pulling out a pair of pyjama pants. He changed quickly and threw his pants by his shirt.

Sicheng turned again, more aggressively this time. Jaehyun turned around. Sicheng made a few more small movements. He stopped moving for a bit. Jaehyun kept watching him. He started moving again, in fact he started thrashing around. Jaehyun stood still, wondering whether to do something or not. A whiney sound came from the boy, high-pitched and fearful. He kept moving around, whining and breathing heavily.

“Shit...” Jaehyun hurried over and sat on the edge of Sicheng’s bed.

The boy let out another whine. Jaehyun gently started shaking him. The thrashing worsened and Jaehyun instinctively tried harder to wake him up.

“Sicheng,” Jaehyun gently patted his cheek, “wake up, hey...! Come on, you’re dreaming.”

Sicheng’s eyes suddenly opened and he sat up, breathing heavily. He was almost wheezing. He looked panicked and pushed violently at Jaehyun. He was crying too, which didn’t help his panting.

“Hey,” Jaehyun grabbed the boy’s wrists, “Sicheng, hey, calm down...!”

Realization washed over Sicheng’s face and he stopped moving, though his breathing was still heavy. Jaehyun released his wrists. The boy just looked down at his hands then, breathing heavily as tears kept streaming down his face. Jaehyun hesitantly placed a hand on Sicheng’s head, petting him. Sicheng sniffled. Jaehyun ran his fingers through the boy’s hair, sighing deeply.

“Sorry...”

Jaehyun shook his head, “what are you sorry for?”

Sicheng opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything. He closed it again and shrugged. Jaehyun wrapped an arm around the boy and pulled him into a side-hug. He felt Sicheng lean into him. He was breathing normally, but he still sniffled occasionally.

They sat like that for a while.

“You okay?” Jaehyun asked.

Sicheng nodded and pulled away. Jaehyun ruffled his hair and stood up. Sicheng lay down again and Jaehyun got into his own bed. Jaehyun kept himself awake until he heard Sicheng’s breath become deeper, signaling that the boy had fallen asleep. With a sigh he rolled over, letting sleep overcome him as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally finished my exams! now i have more time to put some of my focus back on this fic, though i don't know how often i will update as i do have plans with friends and family during my vacation. but now i at least have free time, so yay?  
> anyway not super proud of this chapter???? but it's mostly filler and stuff so i think it's fine, u know?

Doyoung looked over at Jaehyun. The younger had been extremely quiet the whole day. Not to mention the way he seemed to space out, in fact Doyoung was quite sure that Jaehyun hadn’t payed real attention to a single conversation since he got up. It was worrying. It wasn’t like Jaehyun to act in that manner. He was usually sharp and very much aware of everything that went on around him. Anything else could be dangerous with their profession. They had to finish collecting payments with Jungwoo later that night. He needed Jaehyun to be in his right mind.

“Dude...” Doyoung spoke softly, placing a hand on Jaehyun’s arm.

Jaehyun turned his head, “what?”

“Are you okay?”

Doyoung kept his voice low. The other members were all lounging around the living room, except Yuta and Hansol. Doyoung wasn’t really interested in whatever they were doing. Sicheng was also absent, staying in their room.

Jaehyun nodded, he answered in an equally hushed tone, “I’m fine... just thinking.”

“About?”

Doyoung frowned when Jaehyun sighed. Something was obviously bothering him. Could it be Jungwoo? Doyoung could tell that the boy made Jaehyun wary. It just seemed so unlike Jaehyun to worry about something like Jungwoo and his oddball personality. Perhaps Sicheng? Doyoung couldn’t deny that he himself found the boy oddly charming. It was quite clear that they all seemed to be attracted to the boy’s naive innocence. It probably had something to do with their work. They craved something to balance out all the shit they’d seen.

“Have you talked to Taeyong about the kid?”

“No?” Doyoung glanced at Taeyong, “why?”

Jaehyun frowned, “I feel like shit for scaring him, man. That boy is already broken enough.”

Doyoung looked at Jaehyun in light surprise, “what do you mean? Isn’t he just scared of us?”

“I think Taeyong should be the one to explain,” Jaehyun muttered, “I only got the short version. Apparently Kun translated some pretty fucked up things.”

With a nod, Doyoung ended his questioning. He wondered if Taeyong was going to inform them all about Sicheng’s time in the triad. It would probably help them all to treat him in a way that would make him feel comfortable. As comfortable as he could feel surrounded by criminals.

Now it was Doyoung getting caught up in his own thoughts. What Jaehyun said had him thinking of every worst case scenario. Despite Kun informing him that Sicheng had denied any sexual abuse Doyoung couldn’t help his doubt. They’d kidnapped the boy and physically punished him to get him in a destructive state of mind, Kun had told him that but with no further details. He didn’t know why Sicheng would lie about any other abuse, but if they’d hurt him both physically and mentally Doyoung wouldn’t put it past those men to force the boy into other just as horrible things. Doyoung knew they, NCT, weren’t saints themselves, but they still had some kind of conscience. He was in the middle of imagining one of the many scenarios his mind came up with when a weight on his shoulder made him jump.

Jaehyun was leaning against him. Doyoung sighed and leaned his head against the top of Jaehyun’s. He knew the other well enough to know what to do. Right now he didn’t want Doyoung to pry, he just wanted the physical comfort. He’d tell Doyoung whatever was on his mind when he felt like it.

“You’re ready for later, yeah? I don’t want to see Jungwoo stab someone to death again.”

Jaehyun chuckled, “yeah, of course. You’re a bit of a knife expert too, though? Aren’t you used to stabbings by now?”

Doyoung huffed, “I’ve literally never been as extra with a knife as Jungwoo was yesterday.”

“I’m telling you, he as a thing for violence... or blood... or pain... or all of them combined.”

“I’m betting on the last one. But I don’t think he has problems controlling it?”

“I hope you’re right,” Jaehyun said, “he’s seriously dangerous if he doesn’t have self-control.”

“Oh? Like you, you mean?”

Jaehyun playfully hit Doyoung’s chest. Doyoung just laughed.

“I’ll tell your mom if you don’t stop bullying me.”

Doyoung scoffed, “you’re such a snitch.”

They both turned to look at each other with matching frowns. Their eye contact lasted only a few seconds before they both burst out laughing. Ten sent an annoyed hush their way, obviously engrossed in whatever was showing on the TV. They both managed to quiet their laughter into hushed giggles as they kept their banter going.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuta sat on the edge of the bed and stretched his arms above his head. He let out a groan as his joints made a couple of cracking sounds. He let his arms fall down again and he turned to look back at Hansol. He was just laying on the bed, watching him with a small smile.

“This is the last time I’ll let you tie me up,” Yuta said, “I could barely feel my hands at the end.”

Hansol laughed, “we both know that isn’t true. I’ll make sure you aren’t lying on your arms next time.”

Yuta grinned and plopped down beside Hansol, “how considerate.”

“I like to consider myself a gentleman.”

Yuta cupped Hansol’s cheek with a hum and a smile, “I’ll miss you, you know?”

“I know,” Hansol leaned in and pecked Yuta’s lips, “I’ll miss you too.”

Gently, Yuta traced Hansol’s facial features. His fingers moved along his jaw and up to his cheekbone. He went around his eye and along the top of his brow before trailing down the slope of his nose. He stopped at his lips, their eye meeting momentarily before Yuta wrapped both his arms around Hansol, getting rid of the space between them. He kissed Hansol. Hansol kissed back. It was a slow kiss. No rush. They’d both already gotten off, there was no reason for the kiss to be anything more than a kiss.

They pulled back. Hansol let his eyes drift to Yuta’s arm, covered in a tattoo sleeve that spanned from his wrist and up his arm, to his left shoulder blade and the left side of his chest right under his collarbone. Fish in blacks and grays decorated his arm, the only color being a few red details and the different pinks of cherry blossoms that bloomed across his skin as well. The fine details stood like a very clear contrast to the simple hangul under his right collarbone. _Loyalty_.

Hansol placed a hand on Yuta’s shoulder and moved it down his arm, intertwining their fingers when he reached his hand. Yuta looked down on Hansol’s collarbones, avoiding his eyes with a frown. Hansol moved down and placed a kiss above Yuta’s heart, right where the tattoo ended.

“I’ll really miss you,” Hansol said, “so much.”

Yuta nodded and whispered, “me too.”

A knock on the door pulled them both out of the moment. Yuta sighed in annoyance and sat up.

“One second!”

He picked up his boxers and his shirt from the floor and pulled both on. Hansol made a disappointed sound and Yuta shot him a teasing look before getting the door.

“Oh,” Yuta smiled in slight surprise, “Sicheng. What’s up?”

The boy looked at him with a mix of embarrassment and shock on his face. His eyes drifted downwards for less than a second before he met Yuta’s eyes again.

“Ah, I-” Sicheng was blushing, trying to get his words out, “nothing. Never mind.”

Sicheng was about to leave, but Yuta caught his wrist, “no, what is it? Just tell me.”

The boy was obviously flustered. Very much so. Hansol snickered from the bed, which only made the boy’s blush worsen. Yuta wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed about being flustered or if he just hadn’t noticed Hansol before. Regardless, he didn’t want Sicheng to go. He wanted the boy to trust him, if only a little more.

“I- um, well, one of the games,” Sicheng stumbled over his words, trying to keep his gaze anywhere but on Yuta or Hansol, “I don’t- the instructions- I don’t understand.”

Hansol snorted and Yuta turned back to see him trying hard not to laugh. Yuta looked back at Sicheng with a smile, understanding and apologetic at the same time.

“Go get it then, I’ll help you.”

Sicheng nodded and hurried back to the room to get the game. Yuta walked back to Hansol and sat on the edge of the bed. He shook his head with a grin.

“You’re such a dick.”

Yuta brought a hand to his heart dramatically, “excuse me?”

Hansol rolled his eyes, “you couldn’t just let him go? He’ll only get more flustered.”

“So?” Yuta grinned, “he’s cute like that.”

Hansol smiled, “and you _love_ cute.”

Yuta was about to retort when Sicheng returned and stood awkwardly by the door. Yuta waved him over. He hesitated for a second, but then came in. He sat down beside Yuta, trying his hardest to ignore Hansol’s lack of clothing. At least the duvet covered the lower part of his body.

Yuta took the game, “oh. Are you sure you want to play this?”

“Why?” Sicheng asked.

“There’s just a lot of dialog,” Yuta said, “it’s a bit hard if you don’t understand the language.”

“Oh...” Sicheng sounded disappointed.

“Don’t look so down,” Hansol said, leaning on his elbow, “I’m sure Yuta would love to play with you.”

Yuta sent Hansol a look, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He did have a preference towards the way Hansol acted after sex, just because he was a lot more relaxed and impulsive. It felt like a reward to see him like that.

Sicheng just blinked at the comment, “you’ll help me?”

“Of course I’ll help you,” Yuta said, “would you mind if we did it tomorrow?”

Hansol snorted again. Yuta rolled his eyes.

“Not _‘do it’_  like that, asshole!”

“You’d like it to be like that, though,” Hansol said with a teasing grin, sitting up.

Sicheng noticed the way the duvet slipped down a bit, exposing more of Hansol’s body. He whipped his head around, staring right in front of him. His cheeks were on fire. He felt so embarrassed. He didn’t fully understand what Hansol was insinuating, but he was sure it would only make it worse if he did.

“Maybe... I should go.”

Sicheng was about to get up, but Yuta stopped him by swinging an arm around his shoulder. He tensed under the touch, but stayed where he was.

“Don’t,” Yuta rubbed his shoulder, “we’re just messing with you. Sorry, you’re just so cute, it’s hard not to tease you.”

The boy looked wide eyed at Yuta and his face became, if possible, even redder. Hansol snickered again and Yuta just grinned at him.

“ _Cute...!_ ” Yuta sang, pinching Sicheng’s cheek.

Sicheng recognized the language Yuta momentarily shifted to. Japanese? Well, it wasn’t that surprising, he thought. Yuta wasn’t exactly a very Korean-sounding name.

“Good to know that you’ve already found my replacement,” Hansol said with a dramatic sigh, “whipping out your mother tongue and everything.”

Yuta turned to Hansol with a smirk, “are you jealous?”

Hansol was about to answer when Taeyong appeared in the doorway. He blinked at the scene in front of him.

Hansol, naked in bed. Yuta in the same bed, wearing no pants. Sicheng. Also there. With a flushed face and a mix of panic and embarrassment in his eyes. Yuta’s arm around him.

“What the hell is going on?!”

Sicheng flinched at Taeyong’s tone. Hansol didn’t even seem fazed. Yuta smiled sheepishly.

“He needed help with a game.”

Taeyong pinched the bridge of his nose, “Sicheng, could you please leave? Go talk to Doyoung or Kun downstairs or something.”

Sicheng scurried off. He was gone in seconds. Taeyong closed the door.

“Oh? We about to get kinky, Tae?”

“Shut up, Yuta,” Taeyong deadpanned and took a seat on the bed the two weren’t occupying.

“What is it then?” Hansol asked.

Taeyong spoke, “I was just gonna tell you that I wanted you and Johnny to take Lucas out on a mission sometime next week. I don’t know what yet, but I’ll figure it out.”

“Sure.”

“But,” Taeyong ran a hand through his hair, “I kind of think I should tell you two something. About Sicheng.”

“What about him?” Yuta cocked his head to the side.

“I just want you to know, alright?” Taeyong said, “just so you can read some of his signals better. I think he’s easy to misunderstand. I’m going to tell everyone more or less individually. Don’t let what I tell you stop you from interacting with him, okay? Whatever it takes I want him to come out of his shell and out of his own head.”

Yuta and Hansol shared a look before returning their focus to their leader. They listened patiently as he started talking.

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng went down the stairs. He stood awkwardly by the dining table and watched the men. They hadn’t noticed him. The TV was set on what looked like a drama. Ten, Kun and Taeil looked the most engrossed. Doyoung and Jaehyun were... cuddling? Sicheng was a bit surprised by that sight. Jaehyun looked so odd in that moment, calmly leaning against Doyoung’s side. They seemed to be chatting quietly. Johnny was lounging in one of the chairs, scrolling on his phone.

Maybe he should just go up to his room? Sicheng pushed the thought away. Taeyong told him to go downstairs. He should do as he’s told. He shuffled a bit closer, trying to decide what to do. Should he sit by himself in the other chair? There was room by Jaehyun and Doyoung too. Would he be intruding on them?

Johnny turned his head and noticed him standing there. He put down his phone and smiled at him.

“Sicheng, what’s up?”

The others also gave him their attention then. He fiddled with his hands and shrugged.

“You want to watch this drama with us?” Ten asked.

Johnny scoffed, “it’s boring as hell, why would he?”

“You’re boring as hell,” Ten said back.

“Oh, good one,” Johnny rolled his eyes and stood up.

He walked past Sicheng to a cabinet. He crouched down and opened it.

“How about a board game?”

“Oh hell yes,” Doyoung said from the couch, “I’ll kick your ass at ludo again.”

“You’re on, asshole,” Johnny said, pulling out the colorful box.

He wrapped an arm around Sicheng’s shoulder and pulled him to the dining table. Doyoung hurried over and Jaehyun followed with a sigh. Sicheng and Johnny sat down on one side while Doyoung and Jaehyun sat down across from them.

Sicheng figured he didn’t really have a choice as to whether he played or not. He wasn’t about to complain, though, he’d been subjected to worse than a game of ludo. He tried to remember the last time he’d played. It had to have been with his mother. He pushed away the memory that started to form before it became a clear picture.

The game started and Sicheng found out that all three men were very competitive. Even if Jaehyun hadn’t seemed interested in the game at first, now he was just as into it as Johnny and Doyoung. They kept calling each other names and purposely tried to sabotage each other. Sicheng just quietly took his turns, moving his red pieces forward. He smiled a bit at the shenanigans around him. It was hard not to. They didn’t seem to notice and if they did they didn’t say anything. They didn’t even seem to realize he was in the lead.

Johnny cheered when he sent on of Doyoung’s pieces back to the start. Doyoung groaned in frustration. Sicheng was handed the die and he rolled it. He couldn’t help smiling excitedly when he saw the five dots. He moved his last piece to the red triangle, signaling his win.

“What?” Doyoung and Johnny exclaimed in unison

“Wait...” Jaehyun gaped at Sicheng, “you won?”

Sicheng shrugged trying to stop himself from seeming too happy about it. Johnny wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling Sicheng to his side.

“You little sneak...!” Johnny shook him teasingly.

Sicheng giggled.

Everyone paused. All three of them looked at him with wide eyes. It wasn’t a crazy laugh or anything, just a small and soft yet genuine giggle. Johnny grinned at the boy. He ruffled his dark hair. Jaehyun leaned his head on his hand, smiling fondly at the display, Doyoung matched his expression.

“Congratulations, Sicheng!” Johnny said, “we should figure out a price, yeah?”

Sicheng blinked at him, “a price?”

There was a childishness over the way Sicheng’s eyes lit up at the idea of a price. The joy he got from the game too, it was cute. He looked so young in that moment. Not like twenty-year-old naive guy, but even younger. Like a child. It was both endearing and saddening at the same time.

“A different price than what the winner usually gets, I think we can all agree,” Jaehyun said with a laugh.

Doyoung punched his shoulder.

“Usually? What’s the price usually?” Sicheng asked.

“Uh, well,” Johnny scratched the back of his neck, “don’t worry about that.”

Sicheng nodded, but he did still wonder.

They ended up finding some ice cream in the freezer as a price. Sicheng happily accepted it. The day continued as what seemed to be the norm in the group. It was pretty uneventful, mostly the men just lounged around. They ate lunch together. Taeyong called Taeil and Johnny in for a meeting afterwards. They were gone for a long time. Dinner rolled around and they ate together again. Sicheng didn’t really engage much during the day besides the board game, but he did spend most of it downstairs.

When the dinner was gone the men repeated the days before, leaving to do whatever it was that they did. Taeyong and Sicheng stayed back. Sicheng wondered why Taeyong didn’t join the others. Perhaps because he was the leader? It had been like that in the triad too.

Sicheng stayed in the living room, watching a Korean cartoon while Taeyong worked on some papers. They didn’t speak, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Sicheng went to bed before anyone came home.

 

* * *

 

 

Jaehyun and Doyoung shared a look. Apparently Jungwoo could control his urge to make a mess of bodies. Obviously a slit throat would always make a mess, but the clean and fast cut Jungwoo had made was impressive. He didn’t even get any blood on himself.

They’d had a pretty good evening. Most people had payed without any trouble. They’d even dropped off the little metal box with the elderly couple on their way. For once it seemed like they wouldn’t have to deal with a bunch of idiots who thoughts they could get out of their deals.

They were wrong.

One specific guy, they always had trouble with him. He was always under the influence of some sort of drugs when they came by, this time was no exception. Jaehyun had to kick open the door to his apartment because he refused to let them in. The guy had gone for Jaehyun immediately, though it failed. Jaehyun was quick to push him back into the apartment. Doyoung had tried to talk some sense into him as he regained his balance, but he obviously wasn’t going to listen.

He looked between the three men, eyes wide with a crazy look in them. He seemed to deem Jungwoo the easiest target and suddenly he charged at the youngest. Doyoung grimaced at the sound that came from Jungwoo’s fist colliding with the guy’s face. It was powerful enough to send the guy stumbling back, disoriented as he reached for something to grab unto. Jungwoo’s movements were fast and the next moment the man was on the floor, blood leaking from his neck unto the dirty carpet.

“Alright.” Doyoung’s voice had a surprised tone to it, “good work, Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo turned to him and smiled, “thank you.”

“Let’s search this shithole for anything valuable and then get going,” Jaehyun said, walking to the bedroom.

They did that. The search didn’t get them much but some cash and a few pieces of jewelry that Doyoung suspected were stolen. Whatever, it would cover some of the guy’s debt.

The guy lived in a shitty neighborhood. A lot of criminals, both on bigger and smaller scales. Most of the buildings in the area were in definite need of renovation, but it probably wasn’t going to happen until one of them collapsed.

On their way back to the car Jungwoo stopped. He looked over the graffiti on the side of a convenience store.

“Hey, Doyoung?”

Doyoung and Jaehyun both turned around.

“What is it?”

“Do you know who this is?”

Doyoung walked over to Jungwoo’s side, “who?”

Jungwoo pointed at the three large letters that had been spray painted on the wall. The graffiti was obviously newer than the other things painted on the wall, covering up older paint.

“Neo.”

“I don’t,” Doyoung shrugged, “Jae? You know whose logo or name that is?”

Jaehyun walked over. He furrowed his eyebrows at the capital letters.

“I don’t know who it is, but I’ve seen it before.”

“Me too,” Jungwoo said, “around the time I joined SM. It was all around my neighborhood suddenly. I think it’s covered up or removed now.”

“It’s someone that moves around, I think,” Jaehyun said, “I saw it last time we went to a big event.”

“We should tell Taeyong,” Doyoung said, “this is SM territory.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun said, “idiots. They really think they can go around tagging places that aren’t neutral.”

Jungwoo looked at the two, “is it such a big deal?”

“It could be,” Doyoung said, “last time something like this happened SM ended up losing quite a big piece of territory to JYP. They just... snuck up on the people in charge there.”

Jaehyun pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the graffiti before they started moving again. Jungwoo walked by Doyoung’s side, curious of the things he could learn about SM that wasn’t just the surface knowledge he had been told when he joined.

“I thought you said SM and JYP were on good terms?”

“Yeah, but it depends on the subgroups too.”

Jungwoo hummed, “who lost the territory?”

“SNSD,” Doyoung said, “to one of JYP’s newest groups too.”

“If you ever get the privilege to meet anyone from that group then don’t mention it, unless you want to die,” Jaehyun said.

Jungwoo nodded, “yeah, alright. I can see how that could be a touchy subject.”

They got back to the car and drove off. The sun had set at this point, but the streets were far from quiet. They were bustling with life and light. People were obviously out partying and having fun with their friends. Most places, restaurants, bars and such, were still open and serving people even as they moved into the nighttime.

Despite his initial dislike for the boy, Jaehyun knew he had to admit that Jungwoo was a good addition. He was fast and good with a knife. Probably with a gun too. His face was perfect for the work. He could very easily shift between cute and intimidating, the cute side of him being perfect for tricking enemies and luring in potential partners. His voice was at a high pitch, which made him sound even more harmless. Jaehyun knew Jungwoo would be good at charming both men and women. He had the perfect boy-next-door look to charm the ladies, but at the same time he could easily play a cute and good boy for any men that might be into that. Yuta was good at charming both genders as well, but it was with handsomeness and sexy charms rather than cuteness. Jungwoo definitely could help them out.

Doyoung had already made it clear that he found the boy trustworthy. Especially after his quick reaction when Jaehyun had been attacked. Taeyong had the final say, based on what Jaehyun and Doyoung reported back to him. It would be unfair to put bad words on the boy’s name. Jungwoo was almost certainly going to join their group. Jaehyun figured Lucas would too, based on the two of them being friends. He didn’t know about Mark, but Yuta had seemed positive after the mission with him. Hansol hadn’t said much, which wasn’t a surprise, but he’d probably talked to Taeyong.

The three boys joining would be a good thing. With Hansol being moved to recruiting they’d lose their best fighter. Hansol excelled in both gun and knife use, and he could probably take down everyone in NCT in a fistfight as well. Except maybe Yuta, but his training had been a lot harder and very different from the one SM members were taught. He knew a lot more about being sneaky and using so-called _dirty tricks_. Jaehyun disagreed with that sentiment. Yuta wasn’t unfair when he fought, he was just smart.

Jaehyun had to admit to himself that he hoped that they could have all three boys join officially. He knew it would be hard on them all, especially Yuta and Taeyong, to see Hansol leave. Taeyong needed someone new to focus on while he got through dealing with Hansol’s absence. He had a feeling that Taeyong had high hopes for Mark.

Yuta needed someone to throw his care at, someone he could pamper or dote on. Jaehyun figured Sicheng would end up in that role. Though the boy would probably end up getting pampered by them all. Sicheng was everything they didn’t have in their lives anymore. He wondered how the three applicants would react to his presence. He was older than them, but it probably wouldn’t feel like it.

Doyoung pulled into the parking lot of another apartment complex. They got out of the car and got on with the mission.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a short one this time around, mates. it was supposed to be part of a longer chapter, but too much would be going on, so you're getting this on it's own.

Jaehyun looked skeptically at Taeyong.

“You want us to take him shopping? With Jungwoo?”

Taeyong sighed, “I know it sounds weird, but he can’t keep wearing Doyoung’s clothes, you know?”

Jaehyun shared a look with Johnny. They both looked at their leader, each of them waiting for the same answer to an unasked question.

“I want another read in on Jungwoo.” Taeyong shrugged, “I trust you and Doyoung, but there’s a reason Johnny’s my second in command. And if you two aren’t completely sure about him then I want Johnny to check him out too.”

“Right,” Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair, “but why shopping?”

“I don’t have any missions for you. I already asked Yuta and Kun to take Mark with them tonight. Three men is more than enough.”

“Definitely,” Johnny agreed, “I don’t mind either, I could go for some new clothes too. Maybe a watch.”

“Right, okay,” Jaehyun said, “what time did you tell Jungwoo?”

“About an hour from now,” Taeyong replied, “can you go tell Sicheng?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jaehyun said, getting up.

He went upstairs and entered their room. Sicheng was on his bed. He wasn’t sleeping. He was just staring right in front of himself. It seemed like he didn’t even notice Jaehyun enter. It was worrying. The boy had been distant since their ludo game. He seemed to be in a daze almost. Taeyong had told him that Sicheng had acted distant the whole evening until he went to bed. It was the same the day after. Though Jaehyun had only seen it while he was home, Taeyong confirmed that he’d stayed like that when they all left to go work down in the club.

“Hey, Sicheng,” Jaehyun spoke softly, not wanting to startle the boy.

Sicheng looked up at him. He sat up, waiting for Jaehyun to say what he wanted to say. Jaehyun didn’t like the look in his eyes. He was looking at Jaehyun, yes, definitely paying attention. But his eyes looked so empty.

Jaehyun turned to his closet and quickly pulled out some casual clothing. He handed it to Sicheng, who looked at him confused.

“Go shower.” Jaehyun said, “we’ll take you to buy some clothes in an hour or so.”

He left. He didn’t wait for a response. He really didn’t like the way Sicheng looked. He seemed like a zombie almost. It was unsettling how he seemed so genuinely excited during the board game they’d played, but now it was like he had been put on autopilot or something. Taeyong was right, the time in the triad had really messed the boy up.

 

About an hour later they stood in the parking lot. Sicheng was wearing a pair of Jaehyun’s sweatpants and a t-shirt, as well as one of Johnny’s light jackets. Length-wise the clothing fit pretty well, but it still looked big on the boy. He was quite a bit smaller than both Jaehyun and Johnny. His slim figure drowned in the clothing.

Jungwoo arrived almost on the dot with a smile. He and Johnny had a quick reintroduction. He noticed Sicheng and smiled.

“And who’s this?” Jungwoo asked.

It was clear from the sound of his voice and the way he phrased the question, directed more at Jaehyun and Johnny than Sicheng himself that he had already figured out that Sicheng wasn’t a member. It wasn’t hard to see with the boy’s timid and nervous stature, but it was still a good thing that Jungwoo could make it out so quickly. He could read people.

“This is Sicheng,” Johnny spoke, motioning for the two to shake hands.

Jungwoo stuck out his hand and Sicheng hesitantly grabbed it.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sicheng,” Jungwoo grinned, his high pitch surprising Sicheng, “I’m Jungwoo.”

“Y-you too...” Sicheng muttered.

Sicheng let his hand fall back to his side when Jungwoo let go. His smile stayed on his face. He seemed incredibly friendly. Jungwoo turned to Jaehyun.

“So what are we doing?”

“Shopping,” Jaehyun said nonchalantly.

Jungwoo blinked, confused, but his smile didn’t falter, “shopping? Really?”

“Yup,” Jaehyun shrugged, “for Sicheng mostly, but you can buy something for yourself as well, obviously.”

“Alright then,” Jungwoo still looked confused, but also excited.

They got into a car, one of the more inconspicuous ones. Johnny got in behind the wheel and they drove off.

Sicheng sat in the back with Jungwoo. He dared to look at the other man. He looked young, but he couldn’t be _that_ young, right? Perhaps Sicheng’s own age? There was something soft about his features. He was... cute? Sicheng wasn’t sure that ‘cute’ was the right word, but he couldn’t think of anything else. It was odd, considering he knew that Jungwoo had to be as dangerous as everyone else around him. Otherwise he wouldn’t be there.

Jungwoo turned his head and met Sicheng’s eyes. He smiled at him, tilting his head in a questioning manner. Sicheng blushed and turned to look out the window. How embarrassing. He heard Jungwoo let out a giggle. Sicheng’s blush worsened.

It wasn’t long before they pulled into the parking lot of a large mall. Sicheng was in awe at the size of it. It had multiple floors with large windows. Around the mall there were beautiful topiaries in deep greens which contrasted nicely to the mall’s otherwise neutral colors.

Johnny led the way into the mall, wrapping an arm around Sicheng’s shoulders. Jungwoo and Jaehyun walked together behind them. They were chatting, Jungwoo sounded more enthusiastic about the conversation, but Sicheng didn’t really pay them much attention. He was busy admiring the mall’s inside. The entrance they’d gone through led them to what Sicheng assumed was supposed to be the meeting point of the mall. Light shone down from the windows far above them. A fountain stood in the middle. A lot of people where sitting around on both the edge of the fountains and on benches.

Sicheng was pulled into a store. It was a nice store with a very pretty interior. The mannequins looked extremely fashionable. A woman approached them with a smile. She was dressed in a black dress with a white collar and black platform heels with white socks. Sicheng figured it was the store’s uniform. The woman pushed her dark hair behind her ear.

“Hello, welcome!” She sounded friendly, “my name is Hwasa. How can I help you?”

“Hello,” Johnny smiled, “we need new clothing for this guy. A bunch of different outfits.”

The woman, Hwasa, nodded and looked over Sicheng with a thoughtful look, “alright. Anything specific?”

“No, not really,” Johnny shook his head, “just something that fits him.”

“Alright,” she clasped her hands together, “please, follow me...?”

Sicheng blinked. Johnny pushed him towards her, “he’s not Korean, his language skills are a bit lacking. His name is Winwin.”

Hwasa smiled, “that’s quite alright. We’ll figure this out nonetheless. Please, follow me, Winwin.”

He sent a hesitant look towards Johnny, who just nodded. So he followed. Hwasa led him to the changing rooms. She called over another woman. She had short blonde hair and was wearing the same outfit as Hwasa. They exchanged a few quick words.

“Alright, Winwin. You just wait here, okay?” Hwasa smiled at him, “we’ll go find some things that might fit you, then you can try it on, yeah?”

Sicheng just nodded. The two women then walked off. He stood awkwardly until the blonde returned, motioning for him to go try on the clothes she brought him. He went into the changing room and changed. The clothing was fancy. Black leather pants and a white dress shirt with silver chains hanging from the collar. Detailed but simple. He stepped out of the changing room. Hwasa had returned and she and the blonde woman both gave positive responses. They praised Sicheng’s looks and he blushed.

It continued like that. Sicheng wasn’t sure how much time passed or how many outfits he tried, but in the end Hwasa and the blonde woman found six outfits to be the most fitting. They were all on the fancy side, not something you’d see people wear on an everyday basis. They returned to Johnny, who had been waiting near the entrance.

The two women showed him the clothing and he nodded with a smile. Sicheng followed Johnny as they walked to the register. Johnny payed, without batting an eyelid at the expensive price that almost made Sicheng faint on the spot. He gaped at Johnny as he took the clothing, now packed in pastel-colored paper bags. Johnny thanked the women and looked at Sicheng.

“What’s the matter?” Johnny asked as they walked out of the store.

“That’s...” Sicheng furrowed his eyebrows, “too much.”

Johnny laughed, “it’s nothing, trust me.”

Sicheng frowned. Johnny walked towards the fountain where Jaehyun and Jungwoo sat, probably bored with waiting for Sicheng. Johnny handed them the bags. Jungwoo accepted the two bags he was handed with his usual smile. Jaehyun was a bit more reluctant, but grabbed the bags nonetheless.

“What now?” Jaehyun stood up. Jungwoo followed suit.

“Something casual, I would say.”

Once again Johnny led the way. They went into a huge store. It had multiple floors. The store did have more casual clothing, but it was still very fashionable. And expensive.

This time they didn’t have the workers help them, Sicheng just followed the three men around as they picked out random articles of clothing. Pants of varying lengths, shirts of all kinds of styles and colors, pullovers, jackets, underwear, socks. Every type of clothing they felt Sicheng needed. They had him try some of it, if they felt unsure of whether it would fit the boy, but they mostly just went by what they thought looked like the right size.

Sicheng almost had a heart attack when Johnny payed for the whole thing. Jaehyun chuckled at his reaction. Jungwoo just smiled.

“Should we get something to eat?” Johnny asked when they returned to the fountain.

There were a lot of cafes and restaurants around it. Jaehyun nodded and looked around.

“Over there?”

They all turned to the place Jaehyun pointed at. It was a decently sized cafe with a sign advertising a delicious late-lunch menu. Johnny agreed with a shrug. Jungwoo nodded, still smiling. Sicheng just followed them.

They took their seats by a table and grabbed some menus to look over. Jaehyun and Johnny eagerly started discussing the menu. Jungwoo looked up at Sicheng and his smile fell a bit.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

Sicheng looked down, embarrassed, “I, uh, I can’t read the menu...”

Jungwoo’s smile returned and he moved his chair closer to Sicheng, putting down his menu between them. Sicheng tensed a bit at the sudden proximity, but Jungwoo grinned at him and he felt calmer immediately. He swallowed. Actually that could be a bad thing. How could Jungwoo do that?

“What kind of food do you like?” Jungwoo asked, “I can help you find something.”

Sicheng quietly muttered some things and Jungwoo searched the menu, pointing out some dishes to him. He tried explaining the contents and Sicheng looked at him in surprise when he shifted into an accented but understandable Chinese. Jungwoo smiled knowingly and picked another dish, translating as best as he could. Sicheng just nodded, still a bit dumbfounded. Jungwoo ordered the dish and soon they were all eating in comfortable silence. At least, comfortable for everyone but Sicheng, who still felt tense in the company of the men.

“Did you see that neo graffiti everywhere?” A girl spoke as she and another girl, her friend presumably, took a seat at the table beside them.

Johnny, Jaehyun and Jungwoo all shared looks.

“I did,” the friend replied, “do you think they’re... _under SM?_ ”

She lowered her voice at the last part. The tone indicated that she thought something else.

“Do you? Why would they mark their territory with another name?”

There was a pause in the conversation as they both ordered. They didn’t start talking until the waiter had left.

“I was thinking that too, but who else would it be? I mean you would have to be stupid to try to tag their territory.”

“Or reckless!” The first girl said in a ridiculing tone, “some of those YG kids could have done it.”

“No way! They wouldn’t get away with that, would they?”

The first girl lowered her voice, “why not? You’ve heard the news lately, haven’t you? Apparently they got problems at the top. And you’ve seen how many higher ranked they’ve busted too!”

The friend hummed in agreement, “but isn’t the same with JYP? I mean they’ve lost a lot of the people up top right?”

Their conversation was at quite a low volume now.

“I know, but I don’t think they’re reckless enough. You know what they say about JYP, right? They’re crazy, but not dumb.”

“And YG? Are they dumb then?”

The girl tsk’ed, “you know that’s not what I mean. They’re just careless, I think. Not that I would know.”

“Right,” the friend sighed, “we can only speculate. I’m fine with that honestly. Who would want that kind of life?”

Their conversation drifted to something else.

Jaehyun looked at Johnny with a frown. Johnny sighed and got up. He went up to the cafe’s counter and payed. They all got up and made their way back to the car. Johnny, Jaehyun and Jungwoo carried the bags of clothes. Sicheng followed silently. The atmosphere had changed around them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all a little warning bc there's some non-con (nothing actually sexual!) in this chapter just so you know  
> second of all have you seen the three new sm rookies??? they're so cute seriously where does sm find all these pretty boys???? if they're in nct china i'm not sure i'll survive - not that anyone will ever take sicheng's place as my bias!

_“Don’t. Ever. Say. That. Shit. Again.”_

_Taeyong’s voice was harsh, every word punctuated with another blow to the face of the man beneath him. He was about to throw another punch when another hand caught his wrist._

_“That’s enough, Taeyong,” Taeil’s voice was soft, “I think you’ve gotten your point across.”_

_Taeil pulled the younger boy to his feet. They both looked at the man on the ground. His face was unrecognizable, covered in blood and bruises. He wasn’t moving._

_“He tried to rob us.” Taeyong stated and looked at Taeil, “you heard what he said. You heard what he called us-”_

_“I know,” Taeil interrupted, “I heard.”_

_He wrapped an arm around Taeyong’s shoulder and pulled him out of the alley they’d been cornered in. He thanked higher powers for the cold evening wind leaving the dark streets empty. The blood on Taeyong’s hands and shirt wouldn’t have gone unnoticed by anyone passing by them._

_“Taeil?” Taeyong’s voice was low now, barely above a whisper, “can I stay at your place tonight?”_

_Taeil squeezed his shoulder, “of course. You know you don’t need to ask at this point.”_

_Taeyong nodded, “thanks.”_

_They didn’t say much after that. They walked through the dark streets until they reached the apartment blocks where Taeil lived. They didn’t meet anyone on their way up, much to Taeil’s relief. They entered the apartment quietly._

_Taeil pushed Taeyong into the bathroom, “take a shower, okay? I’ll go get a towel and some clothes for you.”_

_Taeyong nodded and wordlessly followed Taeil’s order. He stripped quickly and stepped into the shower. He turned on the water, letting it warm him up. Despite the adrenaline that had rushed through his body earlier he still felt cold from the weather outside. He heard Taeil enter the bathroom._

_“I’ll put your clothes in the washer, alright? I put the towel and clean clothes on the sink.”_

_“Alright,” Taeyong answered, watching the water rinse the blood off his bruised knuckles._

_Not long after he stood in Taeil’s room, drying his dark hair. He let the towel hang around his neck and sat down on the small bed by Taeil’s side._

_“You need a haircut.”_

_Taeyong smiled, “I know.”_

_“I can ask my mom if she can cut it?”_

_“I’d appreciate that.”_

_Taeil nodded, “I’ll ask her tomorrow.”_

_“Hopefully she can do it before I go home.”_

_Taeil frowned, “you know you can stay longer, right? You don’t have to go home tomorrow.”_

_Taeyong shrugged, “I know. I don’t want to burden you or your parents, though.”_

_“You’re not a burden, Taeyong. You know my mom loves you. She’d adopt you if she could!”_

_Taeyong laughed, “a bad idea, really.”_

_Taeil sighed, “you don’t give yourself enough credit.”_

_“I think you give me too much,” Taeyong said, still smiling, “I’m not that great.”_

_“Let’s sleep.”_

_Taeyong agreed. They both quietly went back to the bathroom. Taeil handed Taeyong a toothbrush._

_“It’s new?”_

_“You’ve used the other so long, my mom wanted to buy you a new one.”_

_“Oh.”_

_Soon they were both laying in Taeil’s bed. It was a bit of a struggle at this point. It had been much easier when they were younger, but the bed seemed to grow smaller. Obviously it wasn’t, it was them growing bigger. Taeil’s mother often joked that they’d have to get a bunk bed for his room. Somehow it didn’t seem as nice as sleeping in the same bed._

_Taeyong fell asleep first. Taeil listened to his breathing. Even and calm. He knew that Taeyong wasn’t a heavy sleeper at home, but when he stayed over he slept like a rock._

_Taeil fell asleep as well._

 

* * *

 

 

A look of surprise was on Sicheng’s face. He’d woken up and gone downstairs only to find the kitchen and living room empty. He glanced around.

“Hello?”

No answer.

Sicheng furrowed his brows and wandered into the living room. He looked around. It really was empty. It was weird seeing the rooms completely empty and silent. He stood there for a while, confused as to where all the men had gone. He walked back to the stairs, but stopped and turned to the front door.

Could he?

Perhaps.

The thought was weirdly inviting. The door was right there and he was alone. But where would he go? He sat down, staring at the door. There’s no way. He had to stay. He wouldn’t be able to take care of himself, let alone get out of the country.

China. His heart seemed to swell up and grow heavy in his chest. He wanted to go to China.

He put his face in his hands. God, how pathetic. He was crying again. Crying because of stupid memories about China. He started sobbing. The sounds were horrible and gross. His breathing was erratic, and tears and snot ran down his face. He’d never felt so ugly and miserable in his life. He wasn’t sure were this all came from. His mind was a whirlwind. All the things he’d suppressed through the years, he’d had to relive them. Why did these men have to ask about it? Why did they need to know? Couldn’t they just have let his past be? They should have killed him. He should have taken the bullet and died with the triad. But he was too scared. He was useless and scared and pathetic. Jaehyun should have shot him. It would’ve been better. Now he was just a burden.

“Sicheng?”

He sat up straight with a strangled gasp. Taeyong stood in the doorway with Doyoung, Jaehyun, Taeil and Kun behind him.

“Sorry-” Sicheng started drying his face with the ends of his sleeves- “I’m sorry..!”

Kun pushed past the others and got on his knees by Sicheng’s side.

“ _Sicheng?_ ” Kun grabbed his arms, trying to get the boy to face him, “ _Sicheng what’s wrong? What happened?_ ”

Sicheng met Kun’s eyes and something inside him broke.

“ _I wanna go home!_ ” Sicheng cried, throwing his arms around Kun, “ _I wanna see my mom!_ ”

Kun froze momentarily before wrapping his arms around Sicheng. He rubbed the boy’s back, hoping to soothe him.

“ _Sicheng? You need to calm down, okay?_ ” Kun spoke softly.

“ _I miss my mom..._ ” Sicheng mumbled. His tears were staining Kun’s shirt.

“ _I-I know..._ ” Kun said, “ _I understand, but you need to calm down. Maybe we can try to find your mother._ ”

Sicheng hiccupped and grabbed the back of Kun’s shirt.

“ _You can do that?_ ”

Kun sighed, “ _we can try. I can’t promise anything._ ”

Sicheng paused.

“ _Thank you._ ”

Kun stood up and pulled Sicheng to his feet. Sicheng didn’t look at the others. He didn’t want them to look at his face at that moment.

Suddenly Jaehyun walked off, his steps quick. The four other men shared looks and Taeyong, Doyoung and Taeil left the room as well.

Kun sighed again, “ _did you eat?_ ”

Sicheng shook his head. Kun motioned for him to sit down, so he did. He sniffled and watched quietly as Kun prepared some breakfast.

 

* * *

 

 

Lucas pulled on his jacket, a black leather jacket with silver buttons.

“Who are you meeting with, do you know?” Jungwoo asked from his bed.

“Johnny and, uh, Hansol, I think?” Lucas answered, running a hand through his hair. He frowned at the roots. They were growing out a bit too long. He needed to dye them soon.

“Oh, Johnny’s really nice!” Jungwoo grinned, “Hansol was too, right?”

Jungwoo turned to Mark, who was laying on his bed and scrolling on his phone. He hummed and nodded.

“Quiet, but he seems like a decent guy. He’s a bit intimidating.”

Lucas shrugged, “I’ll be fine, man.”

He put on his shoes and checked his reflection one last time. He told Jungwoo and Mark goodbye and left the motel room. The motel was three stories with quite a lot of small rooms on all floors. It was probably very profitable considering it was placed right beside a big and popular club. Lucas smiled at the receptionist as he walked past and she gave a small wave, smiling bashfully back at him.

He stepped outside and saw Johnny and Hansol waiting for him by a black car. He walked over with a smile. Johnny smiled back and held out his hand.

“Hey, man,” Johnny said as they shook hands, “you ready to show your worth?”

Lucas grinned, “of course! What are we doing?”

“We’re helping another group out,” Johnny spoke, “transportation.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow, “drugs? Or weapons?”

“Drugs,” Hansol stated, opening the door to the passenger’s seat and getting in.

Johnny motioned for Lucas to get in the backseat while he got into the driver’s seat, “we usually let soldiers- or at least someone with a lower rank- do this, but this isn’t just any drugs.”

Lucas hummed as he got into the car. Johnny turned on the car and started driving.

“Red Velvet?”

“You know?” Hansol asked.

“Yeah,” Lucas shrugged, “since I used to work with drugs and transport and smuggling, you know? I was told I’d probably end up helping them or EXO.”

“I see,” Johnny nodded, “makes sense. I hope you aren’t disappointed to end up with us.”

Lucas laughed, “not at all, I’m just glad that I ended in the same place as Jungwoo.”

“You were trained as a sniper, right?” Hansol asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Lucas said, “I think I’m better at close combat, but, I mean, yeah.”

“That’s why they trained you like that.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Hansol looked out the window, “if you’re getting raised in ranks you need to be able to fight from any distance. Even if you prefer or excel in another.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow, “you know a lot about that?”

Hansol shrugged, “I used to train people until I joined NCT.”

“I see-”

“Hansol. Look.”

Johnny pointed out the window. Hansol spotted what he pointed at. At the side of a convenience store three big letters were painted.

Hansol frowned, “NEO...”

“They got some nerve.”

Hansol sighed, “Taeyong was going to talk with some higher-ups about it today. I almost feel bad for whoever is out there thinking they can get away with tagging SM territory.”

“Jungwoo mentioned it,“ Lucas said, “Mark has seen it before too.”

“You haven’t?”

Lucas shook his head, “I’ve only lived here for a little more than a year, so. But Mark has seen it a couple of times when he was here with his old gang.”

“And none of you know anything about it?”

“I don’t,” Lucas said, “I don’t think Mark or Jungwoo know anything either.”

“Alright,” Johnny said, “if any of you hear anything, let us know.”

“Of course,” Lucas replied.

They drove into a nice part of town, with quite busy stores and a lot of family homes. Johnny pulled into a parking lot of a building. They got out and Lucas furrowed his brows as they walked up to the front of the building. It had a colorful facade and a large sign reading _Candy Kingdom_  in rainbow colored letters.

“I wasn’t expecting this,” Lucas said.

Johnny smiled at him, “we can’t all have the same facade business, you know?”

“Right,” Lucas said.

Hansol went to the trunk and pulled out two duffel bags. He nodded at Johnny and they went inside, Lucas following behind.

He had to stop himself from swearing when they entered. The inside was just as colorful as the facade. The walls were lined from top to bottom with shelves of different candy brands. There were tables and stands also filled with candy, as well as different kinds of cookies, cakes and chocolate. There were even fridges with glass doors lined with drinks. Looking around made Lucas realize that he didn’t even know every brand in the store. It was obviously a mix of candy from across the world. He felt like he might get diabetes just from looking at the filled shelves.

There were plenty of people too, most of them with kids. Johnny and Hansol went straight for the counter and Lucas followed. The woman who was first in line looked at Johnny with a bit of dislike as he leaned over the counter to talk to the girl behind it.

“Irene?”

The girl’s eyes widened a bit, “right! She’s in the back with everyone else.”

She fiddled with the pockets of her colorful skirt before pulling out a set of keys. She handed them to Johnny with a flustered smile.

“It’s the green key.”

Johnny smiled at her, “thanks.”

She turned back to the costumers and Johnny nodded towards the back of the store. Hansol and Lucas followed him past the _Staff Only_  sign and Johnny unlocked the door to the back.

It was a stark contrast to the main store. They’d met an empty hallway behind the door. The walls were white and the lamps above them were fluorescent lights. There were three doors in the hallway. One was labeled as a bathroom, one had a sign that read _products_  and the last one had a sign reading _executives_. They walked over to the last door and Johnny knocked.

A few seconds passed before the door was opened by a short woman. She had long dark brown hair pulled up into a half bun. She was wearing a dark red off the shoulder top with a black skirt that fell to right under her knees. She had a cold look in her eyes and a frown on her red lips. She glanced around before stepping aside for the three men.

“It’s been a while,” Johnny said.

The woman hummed in agreement as she led them through the executive’s office. It didn’t look like a place where drugs were produced at all.

“Who’s your new guy?”

“Oh, this is Lucas. Lucas this is Irene, she’s the leader of Red Velvet.”

Lucas gave a small wave, “nice to meet you.”

Irene smiled a bit, “you too.”

“Did you guys have your pledging yet?” Hansol asked.

Irene shook her head, “not yet. Apparently the pickers are having a hard time finding enough for it.”

Irene pulled open the door to a closet and pushed some jackets aside. She placed her hand against the back wall near the corner and pushed. The wall moved back and slid to the side. She walked through. Lucas followed Johnny and Hansol through with an impressed face.

The room through the closet was similar to the ones before it with white walls and fluorescent lights. There were lines of tables with different equipment that Lucas recognized was for making different drugs. They were growing plants behind a glass wall in one part of the room as well. Three other women were walking around between the tables, keeping and eye on all the machines. They all looked up when Irene led them inside.

Two of them, one with light brown hair and the other with black, both with bangs, waved and called out the greetings from where they were. The last one, with long black hair, hurried over with a smile.

“Hey Joy,” Johnny said, giving her a quick hug as she came over.

“Hey guys,” she grinned, “you didn’t bring Jae, huh?”

Johnny shook his head, “no, sorry, Taeyong needed him for a meeting.”

“Oh, boo...!” Joy pouted.

Irene laughed, “I’ll have to talk with Taeyong if he keeps letting down my girl.”

“I’ll make sure to let him know,” Johnny smiled.

Joy turned to Lucas, “I don’t believe we’ve met? I’m Joy.”

Lucas shook her hand, “Lucas. It’s nice to meet you.”

Joy grinned, “you too. Oh, and that’s Seulgi and Wendy.”

Lucas gave a small wave and both girls returned it with smiles.

“I’ll get back to work,” Joy smiled and returned to the tables.

Irene waved the men with her as she walked to the other end of the room. A long table stood against the wall filled with the finished products packed in small plastic bags. Irene walked to the far end and picked up one of the bags. It was filled with small red pills. They looked poisonous. She handed it to Johnny who weighed it in his hand.

“Red Flavor,” Irene smirked, “our bestseller.”

Lucas raised his eyebrows, “those things are expensive as hell, aren’t they?”

“Definitely,” Irene said, “you could sell them one pill at a time if you wanted to. No one else makes them, so we can charge what we want.”

“And you do,” Hansol said and put both of the duffel bags he’d been carrying down on the floor, “from us, EXO and SUJU.”

Irene crouched down and opened one of the bags. She pulled out one of many stacks of money. She looked up at Hansol and smiled.

“I’ll trust the amount is right?”

“Obviously,” Hansol said, “we all know better than to mess with you.”

Irene chuckled as she stood up, “yeah, I figured. I wouldn’t want to kick your ass.”

She grabbed three small briefcases from under the table and started placing the bags of red pills in them. She put them down neatly and closed the briefcases. She handed them to Hansol with a small smile.

“Be careful when you go to drop off with EXO. I’ve heard they’ve got problems along their border.”

“We’ll watch out,” Hansol said with a nod.

They said their goodbyes to Joy, Seulgi and Wendy, and Irene walked them to the back door through their _products_ room, where they kept their restockings. They got back into the car and drove off to deliver the pills.

“So, I assume the dealers are above soldier status as well?” Lucas asked.

“You assumed right,” Hansol said, “we sell it in the basement level part of the club, SUJU sells to business people and EXO to celebrities. No soldiers involved, we can’t risk losing our monopoly on this drug.”

Lucas hummed in understanding.

 

* * *

 

 

_Sicheng twirled and jumped and flipped. His movements were big but elegant. Confidence radiated from his body as he moved to the sounds and rhythms of traditional music. Every move was deliberate and perfectly executed. He didn’t mind the eyes on him. He reveled in it as he danced. These were the most enjoyable times for him._

_The melody came to an end and Sicheng finished his dancing. Clapping filled his ears and he bowed to the men around him._

_“What a talented little performer you’ve gotten your hands on, Jianjun.”_

_The leader stood up and walked to Sicheng’s side, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, “yes. He has a lot of potential. One day he will be a prideful piece.”_

_“Well,” the other man, a partner of the triad, stood up, “shall we go and negotiate.”_

_“Yes,” Jianjun directed Sicheng inside with them. He led the boy to another young man, who smiled calmly at him._

_“Hello,” he held out his hand, “Sicheng, right?”_

_“Oh, yes,” Sicheng hesitantly shook the man’s hand._

_“Sicheng, this is Chao,” Jianjun spoke, “he will not be joining us for the meeting, so you will keep him company. Understood?”_

_“Yes. Of course.”_

_Jianjun gave a nod and Sicheng bowed as he walked off with the partners that had gathered at the triad’s home._

_Sicheng turned to Chao, a handsome young man with sharp features. He was taller than Sicheng._

_“Shall we sit?” He asked, motioning for the couches._

_“If that’s what you want,” Sicheng answered._

_Chao smiled and went to sit down. Sicheng followed. He sat down beside Chao, making sure to leave space between them. Chao looked around the room._

_“It’s not a very interesting house, is it?”_

_Sicheng tilted his head, “what do you mean?”_

_“It’s boring, isn’t it?”_

_“I wouldn’t say that,” Sicheng looked around as well, “it’s just...”_

_Chao leaned closer, “just what?”_

_“Practical,” Sicheng stated, eyeing Chao’s movements._

_“Can’t we go somewhere else?” Chao asked with a sigh, “I don’t like the decoration of this room.”_

_Sicheng frowned, “where would you like to go? The garden is quite beautiful this time of year, as you’ve already seen.”_

_“I didn’t really notice,” Chao shrugged, “I was watching you, after all.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“Regardless, no, I don’t feel like going to your garden,” Sicheng stopped himself from sending their guest a look, “I’d much rather see where you are staying?”_

_Sicheng paused. Jianjun didn’t leave anyone alone with Sicheng if he didn’t trust them. But Chao made him uncomfortable. Still, he had orders to do as the guest said unless they went against anything Jianjun forbade him._

_“Well?”_

_Sicheng stood up, “alright then. I’ll show you.”_

_Chao smirked and stood up as well. Sicheng led the way up the stairs and down the hall where his room was. He opened the door and stepped inside. Chao followed._

_The room had no windows. The walls were a light brown, the ceiling a creamy white color and the floor was dark wood. Against one wall was his bed, a queen sized bed with a baby pink head board and a golden frame. The foot of the bed as well as the legs were also golden. The sheets and pillows matched the color of the ceiling. By his bed stood a small white table with gold and pink details. A golden lamp with a white shade stood on the table. He also had a closet and a vanity in the same style as the bedside table, white with gold and pink details._

_“This is it,” Sicheng spoke._

_Chao looked around, “a bit feminine, don’t you think?”_

_Sicheng shrugged. He didn’t even think about that anymore._

_Chao walked past Sicheng and closed the door. Sicheng watched him carefully as he walked to his bed and sat down._

_“Why don’t you come and sit down, Sicheng?”_

_Sicheng looked back at the now closed door. What was going on?_

_“Sicheng?”_

_Chao looked expectantly at him. Sicheng bit back his doubt and walked over and sat down._

_“Why so far away?”_

_Sicheng looked down at the distance he’d made between them, “is it a problem?”_

_Chao scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Sicheng, placing a hand on his hip. Sicheng swallowed._

_“I think this is better.”_

_Sicheng looked towards the door. Chao placed a hand on his knee. He felt the other lean closer, his body heat felt like a burning fire against Sicheng’s side. Chao’s hand moved up his leg, reaching mid-thigh before Sicheng stopped him._

_“Please don’t do that.”_

_Chao smiled, “why? Isn’t that why you’re here? Aren’t you just a piece of entertainment?”_

_Sicheng pushed Chao’s hands away with a huff, “please leave. I don’t want you in here anymore.”_

_Chao raised an eyebrow, “who do you think you are?”_

_Sicheng stood up and walked over to the door, opening it, “please leave.”_

_Chao got up. He walked over and shut the door again. Sicheng didn’t get to say a thing as he was pushed against the wall. Chao grabbed his chin harshly, forcing Sicheng to look at him._

_“You think you can just reject me? You’re nothing.”_

_Chao pressed his lips to Sicheng’s and the boy immediately tried pushing him off. Chao grabbed his wrists and held them against the wall. He pressed his body against Sicheng’s, trapping him with his back against the wall. Chao pushed a leg between Sicheng’s and pulled his arms up, holding them in place with one hand. He grabbed the boy’s chin again, forcing his mouth open and pushing his tongue against Sicheng’s. The boy made a choked sound as he squirmed in Chao’s hold._

_When Chao pulled away he had a smile on his face but a demeaning look in his eyes. He moved his hand up and caught a tear on Sicheng’s cheek._

_“Don’t look so pathetic. You like this, right?”_

_Sicheng didn’t even think. He spat in Chao’s face, catching the man off guard. He managed to push Chao off and he quickly fled the room. He hurried down the hall, down the stairs and ran out to the garden. He ran to the end of the garden, between the bushes and trees. He crouched down and hid. Crying silently, he hoped that Chao wouldn’t try to go after him._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter yay! i hope u guys don't mind that there's a lot of not-sicheng bits in this story, bc i kinda have to give everyone a personality and that's kinda hard if they only interact with him you know??? it's still pretty sicheng-centric i'd say

Johnny pulled into the parking lot of a large hotel. Lucas recognized it. It was a very expensive stay and they often housed celebrities and generally important figures. It was also a popular place to host large parties, charity events and high class get-togethers.

“I’ll stay back, yeah?” Johnny said.

Hansol hummed, “you’re coming with me to drop off the pills, Lucas.”

They both got out and went to the trunk. Hansol grabbed one of the briefcases and handed it to Lucas.

“This one is an easy handover,” Hansol started as they made their way towards the hotel, “but it’ll be a different story when we get to EXO.”

“How so?”

“Their territory is bordering against a lot of non-SM gangs. There’s a lot of tension.”

“Which gangs?” Lucas asked curiously. Being a foreigner, he didn’t know much about the exact borders of SM or any groups beside the ones under the SM label. He’d only been informed a bit about the groups NCT dealt with since they were the group he was going to pledge to.

Hansol sighed, “you heard of Bangtan?”

“BTS?” Lucas asked a bit shocked.

“Yeah, them.”

“Of course I have.”

Hansol paused as they reached the hotel entrance where a two guards and a doorman stood. Hansol pulled out a card and handed it to one of the guards with a look of indifference. The guard eyed Lucas.

“He’s with me.”

The guard frowned but nodded, allowing them to pass by and enter the hotel. Hansol motioned for Lucas to wait where he stood. He walked to the reception desk and talked to the clerk.

Lucas looked around. He felt a bit impatient, mostly because he wanted to know more. Jungwoo and Mark had both shared some of the things they’d learned when they’d gone out with other members, and Lucas wanted to be able to do that too.

Hansol returned with a key card, “they’re not here yet. We’ll wait for them in one of the rooms.”

Lucas nodded and followed Hansol to the elevator. They both got in and Lucas looked expectantly at Hansol.

Hansol rolled his eyes with a small smile, “I suppose you’re enthusiasm is a positive thing.”

Lucas smiled sheepishly, “I’m just curious.”

“BTS was a big rival, like dangerous, for a while. Right now we’re all at a ceasefire when it comes to them.”

“How come?”

“They’re expanding in America to get a higher profit. SM has a focus on Asia and Europe. We have no reason to create unnecessary tension with them when we aren’t in the run for the same profit.”

Lucas pursed his lips, “what if they change their stand on that?”

Hansol chuckled as they stepped out of the elevator.

“I said the same, you know? I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. _If_ we get to it.”

Lucas followed Hansol down the hallway diligently, “you trust them?”

“I don’t,” Hansol spoke, “but outside of SM they are the only gang I would name as something close to trustworthy.”

“Is there anyone you’d stay clear off?”

Hansol shrugged and used the key card on the door of one of the rooms, letting them both in, “it’s not like it matters. I don’t really have a say in who we, as a whole I mean, work with.”

“I know, I know,” Lucas said, “but there must be groups you don’t like, yeah? NCT has to have some rivals you all don’t like?”

Hansol shut the door and took a seat on one of the beds, “YG groups, if you really wanna know. I’m always iffy about JYP, but I would never trust someone from YG.”

Lucas had sat down too, “how come? Are you allowed to tell me why?”

“They’re dangerous and they know it,” Hansol sighed, “a lot of their older members have been arrested or taken out recently, but they’ve got a bunch of kids ready to run their business. I’ve heard they’re about as crazy and inconsiderate as the ones before them.”

Lucas frowned, “aren’t most gangs inconsiderate?”

Hansol laughed dryly, “these guys are next level. When I say that they don’t care that means that they _really_ don’t care.”

“They care about their members, though? Right?”

“In a sense, the thing is they’re also completely dedicated to each other,” Hansol looked at Lucas, “they’d rather kill themselves before being an inconvenience to the bigger cause of their group.”

“Holy shit.”

Someone knocked on the door. Hansol stood up and pulled out a gun that had been hidden under his shirt. He walked to the door and grabbed the handle.

“Yeah?”

“Is this where we find the delivery boys?” Someone asked from the other side, the voice slightly muffled through the door.

Hansol rolled his eyes and opened the door. Two men stood outside. One with dark wavy hair and the other with straight bleached hair, it almost looked silver. They both smiled and the one with dark hair quickly pulled Hansol in for a hug.

They exchanged quick greetings before Hansol turned to Lucas, “this is one of our new recruits.”

The man with the bleached hair closed and locked the door, “oh? Your pledging went well?”

“I’d say so. We got three through. This is Lucas.”

The dark haired man held out his hand and Lucas took it with a small smile, “I’m Heechul.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Heechul grinned, “you too. This is Yesung.”

The silver haired man, Yesung, shook Lucas’ hand as well.

Hansol then grabbed the briefcase from Lucas and put it on the bed. He opened it and turned to the two men.

“You can check the amount if you want, but I don’t think there’s any reason to doubt Irene.”

Heechul picked up one of the bags and weighed it in his hand, “I’d never doubt her or the other girls. We’re all basically family, right?”

Hansol shrugged with a smile, “something like that.”

“Something like that?” Heechul repeated, grabbing his chest dramatically, “you hurt me.”

Yesung shook his head with a smile and grabbed the bag from Heechul’s hand, putting it back with the others, “I think we should get going. You guys probably should, too.”

“We’re leaving first,” Hansol said and placed the key card on one of the nightstands by the closest bed, “let’s go, Lucas.”

They both quickly bid the older men goodbye and left the room. Hansol led the way again with Lucas following him. Soon they left the hotel. Hansol gave the guard a nod on the way out. He gave them both a look, but didn’t say anything.

Johnny looked up from his phone when they got back into the car, “took you long enough.”

“We had to wait for Heechul and Yesung to show up.”

“Am I in any way surprised?” Johnny smiled and turned on the car, “let’s get going.”

They pulled out of the parking lot and Lucas watched as the luxurious hotel disappeared behind other buildings.

 

* * *

 

_“Sicheng!”_

_The boy swallowed. Jianjun’s voice was filled with anger. Sicheng slowly got to his feet and peaked out from behind one of the trees._

_Jianjun stood by the house with his arms crossed. Chao and his boss stood behind him. They both looked far from pleased. Sicheng let out a shaky breath. Jianjun called for him again. Sicheng inhaled deeply._

_Carefully, he stepped out from between the trees. Jianjun saw him right away and marched over. Sicheng didn’t even get to say a thing. The man grabbed his arm harshly and pulled him closer._

_“Have I not taught you to treat our guests with respect?” Jianjun hissed, “I take care of you and this is what you do? Embarrass me? Embarrass the triad?”_

_“I’m sorry...!” Sicheng whispered, “I just-”_

_“You better apologize.”_

_Jianjun pulled Sicheng with him. He met Chao’s eyes and noticed the way his lips twitched slightly. He was holding back a smile. Sicheng frowned at him as Jianjun pulled him to stand in front of the young man. Chao’s boss looked more angry than he should, Sicheng suspected they were related. He couldn’t tell if they were father and son or if Chao was the man’s nephew._

_“Apologize.”_

_Sicheng looked up at Jianjun. The leader looked back at him sternly. Sicheng knew what would come later._

_He looked at Chao, who still had an air of superiority around him. It made Sicheng want to throw up. Instead he swallowed what little pride he had left._

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”_

_Chao sighed casually, “I suppose I’ll forgive how rude you’ve been.”_

_Sicheng felt Jianjun’s hold on his arm tighten. He tried not to grimace._

_“We’ll get going now,” Chao’s boss said, “thanks for having us.”_

_He still sounded irritated. He went back into the house and Chao followed, but not before sending Sicheng a smirk._

_The second they were inside Jianjun’s hand came in contact with Sicheng’s cheek. It left a stinging sensation. Sicheng bit back any pained sounds._

_“What were you thinking?!” Jianjun growled, shaking Sicheng by his shoulders, “after all I’ve given you, are you still ungrateful?!”_

_Sicheng shook his head, holding back tears with all his might._

_“He wanted to make me dirty...!” Sicheng choked out._

_Jianjun paused. The hold on Sicheng weakened. The boy dared to open his eyes and look at the leader. His eyes were wide. His right eye twitched._

_“He what?” His otherwise stern and unwavering voice was barely a whisper._

_“He wanted to... to see my room,” Sicheng said, his voice equally as quiet, “he touched me above my knee. He kissed me.”_

_Jianjun let go of him and turned around. He marched into the house. Sicheng touched his cheek gently. He dared to hiss at the pain now. He rubbed his arm where Jianjun had grabbed harshly and he grimaced. It would bruise, definitely._

_Suddenly a gunshot went off. Sicheng jumped and looked wide eyed at the house. It happened on the other side. Where the cars were. Several shots followed. Sicheng walked backwards quickly, hurrying more with each shot. He hurried back to the trees in the garden and hid again. It had only happened once before that someone fired shots near the triad’s house. They’d moved away for a bit afterwards. There had been a lot of damage done to the house and some of the members had disappeared. Sicheng still felt his heart sink when he thought about it._

_The gunshots stopped. The sound of wheels screeching followed but it quickly faded. Sicheng stayed were he was. He waited for Jianjun’s voice to call for him. The silence seemed eternal, but finally._

_“Sicheng!”_

_The boy sighed in relief and got up. He carefully moved out from between the trees and saw Jianjun. The man waved him over and Sicheng quickened his step._

_Jianjun pulled him into a hug, “he won’t do anything to you again.”_

_Sicheng gently hugged the man back, “what did you do to him?”_

_“It doesn’t matter,” Jianjun said, “you should go pack. We have to go away for a bit.”_

_Jianjun released him and Sicheng looked up at the leader, “again?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Sicheng nodded and left Jianjun. He had a feeling of guilt nagging at him. Should he have stayed quiet?_

__

* * *

 

 

Lucas’ heart was hammering as he pressed his back against the brick wall. He looked at the man beside him. Black messy hair, lean build and around the same height as himself. The man looked back with a smirk.

“What an introduction, huh?”

Lucas nodded, “is it always this crazy?”

The man shrugged, “it’s been crazier.”

“Seriously?”

The man leaned around the wall and fired a few shots before returning to the same position as Lucas, “seriously.”

The man reached into his jacket and pulled out another gun. He handed it to Lucas, who looked at him in surprise.

“I know they keep guns away from you right now, for safety and whatnot, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, alright?”

Lucas nodded and took the gun, “alright.”

The man stayed where he was while Lucas crouched down beside him, allowing them both to lean around and shoot the targets. Lucas followed the other’s movements, leaning around when he did. Their enemies were easy to spot. It was obvious to Lucas that they weren’t well trained. They were just running in, guns ablaze.

“This is ridiculous,” Lucas said when they ducked back behind the wall, “what kind of attack is this?”

The man shrugged, “a poor one. We’re used to it. They’re expandable grunts, I guess. Probably YG.”

“YG?” Lucas looked up at the man.

“Yeah, they like to show off and act tough. We get these kind of attacks from them a lot.”

“Damn.”

“Yup.”

The gunshots had thinned out. The man looked across the street where Hansol, Johnny and another man stood. He waved at the man and tilted his head questioningly. The man nodded and leaned around the wall on their side and fired a couple of shots.

The street was finally quiet. The man sighed and held out his hand. Lucas took it and the man helped him up.

“I’m Sehun, by the way.”

“I’m Lucas,” he handed the gun back to Sehun, “thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“Sure thing, kid.”

They walked out on the street. The other man, a member of EXO like Sehun, were checking some of the bodies. He was frowning.

“So?” Sehun called.

The man looked up, he had black hair too, but a bit longer than Sehun’s. He wasn’t that tall. He walked over.

“They’re just kids.”

“Of course they are,” Hansol said, “probably people they know would never be fit for a higher rank.”

“Sick.”

“Let’s just get this handover done before the cops show up,” Johnny said, motioning for them all to follow him to the car.

“This is their new recruit, Lucas,” Sehun told the other man, “Lucas this is Xiumin.”

Lucas nodded at him, “nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Xiumin said, “even if the circumstances are a bit unconventional.”

They made it to the car, partially hidden by being parked between two stores. Johnny quickly found the briefcase with the pills and handed it to Xiumin.

“We should all get moving.”

“We should,” Xiumin agreed, “too bad we didn’t really get to catch up.”

Johnny and Hansol both gave a nod and smiled. “Another time,” Johnny said.

“Another time,” Xiumin agreed.

Both him and Sehun turned and hurried off to find their own car. Johnny gestured for Hansol and Lucas to get in theirs. They all got in and Johnny quickly pulled out from between the stores and they sped off.

Johnny and Hansol reassured Lucas that there would be no witnesses to the attack. At least no witnesses willing to speak up. Most of them were under protection, so keeping EXO and anyone under SM out of trouble with the authorities would be the best thing for everyone. They also informed him of the other gangs bordering against the territory EXO was in charge of. Beside BTS, who wasn’t much of a threat because of the mutually beneficial ceasefire, they also bordered with two YG gangs. Winner and IKON who had problems between themselves, which only made them more dangerous because of the constant tension. IKON also shared part of their border with NCT, which happened to be the only part of NCTs border that wasn’t shared with another SM group.

Lucas listened patiently and nodded. He wanted to know as much as he could.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have you guys seen the roommate game nct did??? i'm so happy for sicheng that he got to room with chenle so he could finally get away from his stalkers aka yuta and taeil. poor boy can't catch a break lmao

“You told him we could find his mom?” Taeyong hissed.

Kun frowned, “what was I supposed to do? He’d be inconsolable if I told him something else.”

“You know we can’t find his mom!”

“Why not?” Kun crossed his arms.

Taeil and Johnny shared a look. They were in the group’s meeting room discussing Sicheng’s breakdown. Johnny had been filled in on what had happened after returning back with Hansol.

“Because you’re the only one who speaks fluent Chinese, but last time I checked you aren’t a hacker or otherwise capable of searching the entire web for her.”

“There’s plenty of hackers in SM, even some who speak Chinese!”

“Yeah, and what should I tell them? What excuse should I give for why we’re tracking down a woman who has nothing to do with SM?”

“Can’t you just tell the truth?”

“Of course I can’t!” Taeyong threw his hands up in frustration, “how do you think any other group would react to us housing Sicheng? You think they’d just be fine with it?”

“Suho is pretty understanding...” Taeil mumbled.

Taeyong huffed, “even he wouldn’t have brought Sicheng back to EXO’s base. Don’t be stupid.”

“Maybe he’d understand why you did it, though?” Johnny said, “you know most of the other leaders and their members would hear you out.”

“But they’d never agree with what I did. That’s the problem,” Taeyong said, “they’d either have killed him or left him there. There’s no way in hell they’d just be fine with us tracking down his mother. If anyone outside of SM found out, he could be seen as a vulnerability. They’d kill him.”

Kun sighed, “what if I don’t dig that deep, can’t I just try looking her up? Please, Taeyong, the boy has no closure.”

“You won’t find anything,” Taeyong said, “not when her husband was involved with that triad.”

“We found the article about Sicheng? About him being missing?”

Taeyong rolled his eyes, “yeah. One article, Kun. One. And it just so happened that his parents’ full names were redacted. We know their family name and nothing else. Even if Sicheng told you their names it wouldn’t help.There was no contact information. And you know why. ”

“Maybe...” Kun looked away, “maybe they just wanted all information to go to the police.”

“You don’t believe that yourself,” Taeyong said, glaring at Kun, “you know they only did that so they had something to tell people. Something to tell his classmates and family. He went missing? Bullshit. We all know he was kidnapped. But no one was going to do anything about it. Not the police. Not his parents. No one.”

Kun stood up, “his mom obviously loved him! Don’t they deserve to be reunited?! He won’t be happy here, Taeyong! Never!”

Taeyong stood up as well and walked over to Kun, getting in his face, “you think I don’t know that? You’d rather we left him behind? This is the best we can do for him, Kun! You wanna look up his mother? Fine! Try! You won’t find a thing!”

Kun stepped back. He and Taeyong just stared at each other until Kun turned around and walked to the door, opening it.

“And Kun?” Taeyong said, making Kun turn around in the doorway, “don’t ever talk to me like that again.”

Kun left the room without answering. He closed the door behind him. The room went silent for a bit.

Taeil ran a hand through his hair, “did you need to be so hard on him?”

Taeyong sighed, “you know I don’t want to. But I don’t want Sicheng to get false hope either.”

Taeyong sat down again. He rubbed his temples and furrowed his brows. Taeil reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder. Taeyong let his hands fall to the table and he looked at Taeil.

“I know you just want what’s best for everyone,” Taeil spoke, “don’t overwork yourself because of it, okay?”

Taeyong just nodded, “yeah. Thanks."

Taeil smiled softly, “we all trust you to do what’s right. You know Kun is just a bit biased towards Sicheng. He can probably relate to the boy more than any of us could.”

Johnny nodded, “you shouldn’t take it too personal.”

“I know, I know,” Taeyong waved them off, “let’s just move on, okay? Johnny, tell me how it went with Lucas.”

Johnny laughed a bit, “uh, yeah, he’s definitely something else.”

Taeyong and Taeil both tilted their heads at Johnny, who dove into the retelling of what had happened with Lucas. Taeyong showed an obvious disapproval of the idea of just handing their new recruit a gun, but all three men knew that Sehun wouldn’t have done it had he not felt it was safe to do. Taeyong was overall pretty content with what Johnny told about the young man, especially when he confirmed that Hansol approved of Lucas too. They still needed a bit more time to evaluate him, but he was on the right track. Taeyong was also quite happy with what he’d heard about Mark and Jungwoo, and knowing that Lucas worked a lot with the latter only made them both look better in the eyes of the leader.

Taeyong leaned back in his chair, “you think Mark will mind sharing a room with Yuta? And vice versa.”

“You wanna give Yuta a new roommate right away? I don’t think he’ll be too happy about that,” Taeil said.

Johnny agreed, “we can do some moving around so they get to room with some of us, but I don’t think it should be Yuta. I can room with any of them, I don’t mind. I’m sure Ten would be fine with it too.”

“You might be right,” Taeyong said, “I just don’t want to move everyone around too much.”

“Well, Jungwoo knows Jaehyun and Doyoung, right? Why not let him room with them and move Sicheng into Yuta’s room? I doubt he’ll mind that.”

Taeyong furrowed his brows, “I’m just afraid that Yuta is too, well, _Yuta_. I think he might be too much for Sicheng to handle?”

“I don’t think you need to worry so much,” Johnny said, “Yuta would never do anything to purposely upset Sicheng, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Not to mention, Sicheng is going to have to learn how to live comfortably with us, right? Yuta might be good for getting him out of his shell.”

“Yeah, I’m overthinking this,” Taeyong smiled a bit, “what would I do without you two?”

“I don’t even want to think about where you’d be without us!” Johnny laughed.

“Honestly, I don’t want to entertain that thought either,” Taeil agreed with a smile.

 

* * *

 

 

The room was dark. Sicheng could hear his three roommates heavy breathing. They were sleeping peacefully while he watched the shadows play against the light from the single window in the room. The light was pale, a mix of the white moon in the cloudless sky and the streetlights that had turned on when the sun had set. He was anxiously playing with his fingers as a shadow flew across the the ceiling. A bird probably. His brows were furrowed and he had a frown on his lips. He was upset with himself. How could he let go like that. It was beyond embarrassing how he had given in to his feelings. He wasn’t supposed to react like that. He was supposed to bite back any unhappiness and put on a calm smile. Just be pretty.

He switched his position to lay on his side.

Jaehyun was facing him. His face was as calm as his breathing. It was weird how Jaehyun seemed to horde so many personalities in him. Facades perhaps? Did he act like someone he wasn’t? Sicheng figured that wasn’t unusual given his work. All these men probably had to act like someone else when they went out.

Sicheng rolled around and looked at the window. The curtains were drawn back. He figured that getting up with the sun was the norm in the house, but he hadn’t failed to notice that when he woke up and the beds around him were empty, the curtains were no longer drawn back. When he woke up they covered the window and stopped the sun from forcing him awake earlier than his body wished.

He tried closing his eyes. He wanted to sleep. If he slept he could get away from the thoughts of how badly he’d failed to control himself during the day. It had been humiliating. He’d called for his mother like some child. Would he ever fully learn how to behave? The idea that he might always be a failure scared him. It didn’t matter what he’d been told as a child, Jianjun had been right. He wasn’t yet something to be proud of, but he could be. If he just tried harder. He needed to try harder. What he was already doing wasn’t enough. He was still pathetically controlled by his emotions. Like they meant anything.

Sicheng sat up. His mind refused to let him sleep. He rubbed his eyes. They stung from tiredness and the tears he’d cried earlier. He glanced around the room. He needed something to distract his thoughts. He got out of bed. He hesitated by his bed, but only for a moment. Then he left the room with quiet steps, trying not to wake anyone up. He closed the door gently behind him. The hallway was empty as he walked towards the stairs, though he stayed alert as to not get tackled by Ten again.

He walked to the living room and made himself comfortable on the couch. He picked up the remote and turned on the television, making sure to keep the volume low. He flicked through the channels, hoping to find something he’d be able to understand, even if it was a children’s program. He wasn’t sure he’d find any in the middle of the night. He came across an American crime show and settled. His English abilities wasn’t something he’d brag about, but along with the Korean subtitles he should be able to somewhat understand what was going on.

The crime had already happened, so Sicheng was trying to figure out what it was as the detectives discussed their evidence and theories. Obviously someone had died, a girl. Sicheng furrowed his brows at the young man on screen as he started theorizing about what some papers that had been put up on the wall meant. They already had a suspect. He was upsetting one of the detectives. They went over the crimes he was suspected of and Sicheng frowned. What an evil man. Killing young girls? Did he do it for fun? The detectives on screen seemed to think so. It made Sicheng upset, even if he knew it was all acting.

“Sicheng? What are you doing up?”

Sicheng looked up. Taeil stood by the dinner table. He tilted his head.

“I can’t sleep...”

“I see,” Taeil disappeared into the kitchen and returned with two glasses of water. He placed them on the coffee table and sat down beside Sicheng.

Sicheng played with his fingers and glanced at Taeil. The man smiled kindly at him. Sicheng gave a tiny smile in return and looked back at the television. Taeil stayed beside him and they watched the show in silence. Not uncomfortable silence. They just didn’t speak.

Taeil didn’t really pay attention to the show. He kept an eye on Sicheng. The boy looked very invested in the show. He obviously used a lot of concentration on understanding the dialogue, but he found it interesting nonetheless. A content smile was on his face when the episode came to an end with the suspect arrested.

“Is there a reason you can’t sleep?”

Sicheng’s smile disappeared and he shrugged. Taeil gently placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. It reminded Sicheng of the day he’d arrived. Taeil had done the same then. It was just as relieving this time. Sicheng wasn’t sure how the man managed to calm and reassure him without words. It was very comforting. He dared to look at the man. He smiled calmly.

“You know if you want to talk about anything, you can tell any of us, right?” Taeil spoke softly, “it doesn’t have to be me, anyone would be willing to listen.”

Sicheng looked down on his hands, “okay...”

“I’m serious,” Taeil said, “I know this is hard for you, but you gotta believe me, okay? We want you to feel comfortable.”

Sicheng nodded, “okay. Thank you.”

“Listen,” Taeil said, “I’ll leave if you want me to?”

“No.” Sicheng looked down after his quick reply, “please. Don’t leave.”

“Alright, I’ll stay.”

Taeil leaned back in the couch. Sicheng looked at the television. His cheeks burned a bit. It was embarrassing to sound needy. He forced himself to concentrate on the next episode of the crime show that now played on the television.

As the episode progressed Taeil watched Sicheng’s shoulders relax. The tension left his body and at the end of the episode Sicheng had let himself relax. Halfway through the episode that followed Sicheng drifted off to sleep and his body slumped to the side, leaning against Taeil’s. The man petted Sicheng’s hair.

The boy looked innocent even in his sleep. It seemed that there really was nothing but his age that made him an adult. Taeil wondered what went on in the boy’s head. If he really still was a child. It was hard to figure out when he was so closed off. Obviously they knew quite a bit about his past, but he had a hard time expressing exactly how he felt. When he finally let go of the his tied up feelings, or the weight of them overwhelmed him, he reacted like a child would. He’d never learned how to treat his feelings or how to express them to other people. He’d just been told to keep them inside.

Taeil sighed. Everyone in NCT, everyone who shared their profession knew how to keep their feelings inside, sure, they had to. But they still had each other to lean on. Taeil had a feeling that Sicheng hadn’t had anyone to lean on in years. If his past was anything to go by his mother was the only one in his life he really trusted and loved fully. Of course, he most likely loved his father too, but he had a clear bias towards his mother.

Taeil gently pushed Sicheng down into a lying position. He placed a pillow under the boy’s head and grabbed a blanked that hung on the armrest of the couch. He covered Sicheng and turned off the television. He crouched down and gently ran his fingers through the boy’s dark hair. He couldn’t help the anger that surrounded his every thought of the boy. How could anyone treat an innocent boy like they had treated Sicheng? Regardless of how pretty he was, keeping a boy from experiencing his childhood for their own selfish reasons. It was horrible.

With another sigh Taeil got up. He grabbed the glasses he’d gotten earlier and put them in the kitchen before returning to his room. He fell asleep quickly.

 

* * *

 

 

The sun hit Jaehyun’s face and he groggily sat up. He glared at the window and decided that he wasn’t done sleeping. They had no orders that day, so they might as well take advantage of that. He got up and went to close the curtains. He did so with a huff and heard a content sound come from Doyoung’s bed. Kun even sent him a lazy thumbs up.

Jaehyun looked at Sicheng’s bed. Sicheng’s _empty_  bed. A shock of slight panic surged through his body. He shook his head. The boy was probably in the bathroom or something. No reason to get worked up over Sicheng’s bed being empty.

Jaehyun went back to his bed and sat down. He got ready to crawl back under the covers.

But what if he wasn’t just in the bathroom?

Jaehyun mentally slapped himself. Stupid thought. Of course he was just in the bathroom. Or maybe he got up early. Jaehyun got under his duvet and closed his eyes, getting comfortable.

What if he had snuck out during the night?

Jaehyun got out of bed and left the room, trying not to wake his roommates. He checked the upstairs bathrooms, all of which were empty. He felt stupid as he hurried downstairs. Why did he even care? He barely knew the boy. They meant nothing to each other. They probably had nothing in common. Sicheng was just a child in an adult’s body. They weren’t compatible. Jaehyun didn’t even feel bad for scaring the boy by threatening his life when he and Yuta first found him.

A sigh of relief passed Jaehyun’s lips when he found Sicheng sleeping on the couch.

“Why are you sleeping here?” Jaehyun mumbled mostly to himself.

He walked over and looked down at the boy. His lips were slightly parted and his hair was a bit messy. He looked so calm. There was no tension in his body. No fear or doubt or shame on his face.

Jaehyun carefully took a seat on the couch by Sicheng’s waist. He tried hard not to disturb the boy by accidentally sitting on one of his hands or something. He gently brushed the bangs away from Sicheng’s face.

There was no denying it. Sicheng really was pretty. Almost more pretty than handsome. Something closer to beautiful. Maybe if his personality was different Jaehyun would regard him as handsome. A handsome young man. But his demeanour wasn’t like that of a handsome young man. There was something oddly cute about him which paired better with pretty. He’d asked Taeyong about the outing he’d had with the boy and apparently he could put on the front of a handsome man, but Jaehyun had yet to see that.

Jaehyun blinked. He hadn’t even realized he had moved his hand back to the boy’s hair. He’d absentmindedly played with on of his dark locks of hair. He pulled his hand away. He shook his head and stood up. He took one last look at the boy and then he hurried back to bed. He didn’t fall asleep quickly.

 

* * *

 

 

Lucas moaned into his burger, “this is so good...!”

Mark laughed, a short high pitched laughter that seemed to get triggered easily around the tall blond. Jungwoo smiled at the obvious enjoyment Lucas got out of the food. He’d never met anyone who could eat quite like Lucas.

The three of them were at a small cafe enjoying lunch together and chatting about various subjects. They’d all gotten burgers and a large plate of fries stood between them to share. There weren’t many people, the cafe was only really busy at noon on the weekends, when more people had time to stop by.

“Man, I still can’t believe you got to meet _Red Velvet_ ,” Mark said, lowering his voice.

“I know!” Lucas swallowed what he’d been chewing, “and people from EXO and SUJU, too. For real, I felt so honored!”

Jungwoo smiled, “I think it’s a good thing, too. They must trust you.”

“Yeah,” Mark agreed, “I mean you got to use a gun on a mission. I hope we get accepted.”

“It would be super neat!” Jungwoo said, “the three of us get along great and I think we’ll get along with everyone else, as well.”

“Definitely,” Lucas agreed with his mouth full.

Mark took a bite, chewed and swallowed it before speaking again, “I think Taeyong seems like a good leader, too.”

Jungwoo nodded, “I agree. He trusts his members but can put down his foot when he needs to. At least that’s the impression I got.”

Both Mark and Lucas made sounds of agreement. They kept chatting as they ate, occasionally bursting into laughter over something one of them said. The atmosphere was friendly and nice.

Soon they’d finished their food and were sipping on milkshakes that they’d ordered instead of dessert. Mark was in the middle of a story about his past gang when he stopped talking. His eyes widened a bit at something behind Lucas and Jungwoo. The two turned around curiously and saw two boys had entered the cafe.

One of the boys had very dark brown hair. He was wearing a dark red tracksuit with blue and white details. The other boy’s hair was a peach-like orange. He was wearing a red zip-up shirt over a white t-shirt and blue jeans. They both looked like they were either Mark’s age or a bit younger.

“You know them?” Jungwoo turned back to Mark.

“Yeah, uh,” Mark got up, “I’ll be right back.”

He hurried over to the boys, but seemed to dismiss the one with dark hair. He tapped the other on the shoulder and he turned. The boy’s eyes widened a bit and he said something. He and Mark exchanged words quickly and Mark motioned towards Lucas and Jungwoo. The boy looked over. His face was mostly soft features, and with his eyes still wide he really did look young. He returned his focus to Mark who said something that obviously didn’t sit well. The boy’s brows furrowed and he said something, even though Jungwoo couldn’t hear it he could tell that the boy had anger in his voice. Mark seemed to try to explain something, but the boy kept a frown on his lips. The boy with dark hair said something, the slight furrow of his brow told Jungwoo that he wasn’t on Mark’s side in their discussion. The boy spat a few more words at Mark before he left the cafe with his dark haired friend in tow.

Mark returned to the table with an expression of confusion and guilt.

“Who was that?” Lucas asked, wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape. Jungwoo sometimes wondered how Lucas could actually act as a gang member considering how expressive he was on their downtime.

“Just,” Mark paused, “someone I used to work with, kinda? I don’t know what to call him.”

Jungwoo shared a look with Lucas, “what was he so upset about?”

Mark covered his face with his hands and groaned, “I should have told him when my old gang got torn up.”

“Why?”

“He said I owed him that.”

“Why would you owe him that?” Lucas asked.

“It doesn’t matter, okay?” Mark rubbed his temples, “please, let’s just talk about something else. This doesn’t matter.”

“Alright,” Jungwoo shrugged, “if you say so.”

“I swear,” Mark said, “it’s really not important. He’s just being dramatic, there’s really nothing to worry about.”

“He’s not a threat or something?” Jungwoo tilted his head, “I mean if you used to work with him, he must be in the same business as us?”

Mark shook his head, “no. He’s not. Not really. He and his friends just do some petty theft once in a while. I’m pretty sure they still live at home, too.”

“I guess they can’t be that dangerous then,” Lucas said with a small grin, “I mean, if they don’t even have the means necessary to move out, I doubt they can be counted as that much of a threat?”

“Yeah,” Jungwoo said, “yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Oh! Speaking of threats, or possible threats at least,” Lucas interjected, “Hansol told me we should let them know if we heard anything about that NEO group.”

“Of course,” Jungwoo said, “but if they don’t know anything, how would we?”

Lucas shrugged, “it’s always possible to overhear things, I guess. You didn’t know anything about it either, right Mark?”

Mark nodded quickly, “yeah. I don’t know anything. I’ve just seen the tags around before, you know.”

Jungwoo leaned his head in his hands, “it’s just so weird. They have to be stupid to go around tagging places that are known to be gang territory. Especially when it’s a whole gang hierarchy like SM.”

“Or young and dumb,” Mark muttered.

“Or that.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to get this chapter out earlier, but i've had a lot of plans and stuff lately. my friends and i went to a lot of pride stuff last week, it was so awesome! anyway i hope you like this chapter :)

_Sicheng was shaking as the two women measured him. His height, around his waist, his shoulders, everything was measured. Jiaolong watched over the whole situation. Sicheng didn’t dare to look at him. The women payed no mind to the tears running down the boy’s face. They’d given him looks of pity when they arrived, but nothing more._

_When they’d finished measuring and writing down Sicheng’s numbers they turned to Jiaolong._

_“We’ll be able to drop off three sets tomorrow, we’ll need a little more time to create a full wardrobe.”_

_“That’s fine,” Jiaolong said, “I’ll follow you out.”_

_The women nodded and followed Jiaolong out of the room. He closed the door behind them and Sicheng heard the sound of the door locking as well. He sat down on the floor, giving his legs a rest. He could barely stand with how much his body was shaking out of pure fear. He sniffled and looked around the room. It was all in white and gray colors. He didn’t want to touch the bed. He wanted to go home._

_Sicheng pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees as a new wave of loud sobbing ripped through him. He was so scared. Why had they taken him? His only source of consoling was the hope that they’d leave his mother alone now._

_He wasn’t sure how long he sat there. At some point he lay down. He wasn’t crying anymore. Could he even cry still? His eyes stung and his head hurt. A yawn escaped him. He glanced up at the single window in the room. The sun was setting outside. His eyes felt terribly heavy and fell shut despite Sicheng trying hard to fight the exhaustion._

_Sicheng’s eyes flew open as someone shook him awake. Jiaolong was frowning down at him._

_“Why didn’t you sleep in the bed?”_

_Sicheng got to his feet and moved backwards away from Jiaolong, “I don’t want to. I want to go home.”_

_Jiaolong slapped him. It went so fast. Sicheng wouldn’t even have registered what happened had it not been for the pain. He looked wide-eyed at the man in front of him._

_“Don’t talk back,” Jiaolong said coldly, “now follow me. I’ll carry you if I have to.”_

_Sicheng held back his tears despite his quivering bottom lip. He followed Jiaolong, but it was with a frown on his lips and a glare in his eyes. Jiaolong led him to a bathroom. He pushed the boy inside._

_“There’s clothes and towels for you. Take a shower.”_

_Sicheng picked up one of the clothing pieces. It was a green outer garment piece of a woman’s hanfu. He looked at the rest of the outfit and recognized the bottom part to be a skirt. He turned his head to send Jiaolong another glare._

_“I’m not a girl.”_

_“I know.”_

_“I don’t want to wear a dress!”_

_Jiaolong took a step forward and Sicheng flinched, instinctively stepping backwards and moving his hands up as a shield. The hanfu piece fell to the floor._

_“You get one more chance,” Jiaolong threatened._

_Sicheng glared at him, but picked up the piece with shaky hands. He folded it and put it back by the towels._

_“I can wash myself,” he hissed, keeping his eyes on the dress._

_Jiaolong paused, but then left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Sicheng dared to look up. He stared at the door, wishing bad things on the man._

_He still didn’t want to follow orders, but he also didn’t want to risk his life. So he showered with great dismay. He frowned at the fruity soaps he’d been provided. They were for girls. He wasn’t a girl. The shampoo reminded him of his teacher, who always smelled like summer._

_After the shower he dried off and got dressed. He didn’t want to, but he fought through his stubbornness. It was a simple white and green hanfu with floral details near the collar and at the end of the sleeves. The skirt was pure white and contrasted the mostly green top part. Had it been worn by someone else Sicheng might have thought of it as beautiful, but right now he wanted nothing more than to rip the fabric to sheds._

_He exited the bathroom. Jiaolong was waiting for him. Sicheng’s cheeks burned in a mix of anger and humiliation. Jiaolong motioned for him to follow. Sicheng cast a look at his discarded school uniform before following the man, making sure to glare at the back of his head the whole way. Jiaolong took him to the leader’s office._

_Jiaolong knocked on the door, “Jianjun, can I enter?”_

_Sicheng noticed how different Jiaolong’s voice was then. He spoke so respectfully, unlike how he’d spoken to Sicheng or the two women from the day before._

_“Enter.”_

_Jiaolong pushed the door open and pulled Sicheng inside by the arm. He pushed Sicheng in front of him. Jianjun looked up from some papers and his face visibly changed. Sicheng couldn’t quite figure out the feeling behind it._

_“So that’s why you brought him...” Jianjun’s voice was low._

_Jiaolong nodded, “I figured a haircut could help as well. I saw it right away.”_

_Sicheng looked between the two men, confused. Saw what?_

_“Yes,” Jianjun nodded, “a haircut.”_

_“I can get it done right away if you wish?” Jiaolong questioned, “I’ve already made sure that he gets an extensive wardrobe.”_

_“Please do.”_

_Jiaolong nodded and grabbed Sicheng by the arm again. The boy made a sound at the tight grip, but he was payed no mind as Jiaolong pulled him out of the office. He dragged the boy through the house. He only stopped once to pick up what looked like a framed photo that had been kept inside a cabinet. Sicheng was glaring at him and trying to pull away from the man the whole time. He tried even harder when Jiaolong pulled him outside, but to no avail. Jiaolong pushed him into a car and then got in himself._

_He started the car and looked sternly at Sicheng, “I’m taking you to a hairdresser. You don’t speak and you don’t act out. Understood?”_

_Sicheng didn’t reply. He didn’t even look at the man._

_Jiaolong grabbed his arm harshly, pulling him closer, “understood?”_

_His voice was low and threatening. Sicheng quickly nodded and Jiaolong let go of him._

_The car ride was silent._

 

* * *

 

 

Taeil frowned. He watched Sicheng return to his room silently. He had barely spoken during the dinner. In fact Taeil hadn’t heard many words leave the boy since their talk a few nights before. Friday had rolled around, which meant most of the members would be down in the club. They always had more members present on Fridays and Saturdays since those were their busiest days. They only opened one or two of the club’s three floors on Thursdays and Sundays. Taeil hoped he could get another moment alone with Sicheng. Perhaps he wasn’t the best at coaxing him out of his shell, but he figured his gentle approach wouldn’t hurt.

The next few hours went by fast and soon the members were leaving. Yuta, Jaehyun and Hansol were dressed in all black, the same uniforms as the club’s guards wore. Doyoung and Ten were dressed to work behind the bars and Johnny were dressed in a flashy outfit, ready to take the role as DJ. Taeil and Kun stayed behind with Taeyong.

The three were all in the living room. Taeyong was sitting with a piece of paper, intensely staring at the words. It was an invite to a charity event. He knew that NCT obviously weren’t invited because of their generosity, but like the other gangs he knew would be there, they were invited because of the people in power who wanted connections. These types of events were peaceful, but he couldn’t help but consider the risks.

“Should we bring Sicheng?”

Taeil looked up from his phone and Kun gently closed the book he had been reading. They both turned their focus to the leader.

“To the event?” Taeil asked.

“Yes,” Taeyong confirmed, “I don’t want to leave him home alone considering what happened last time. I don’t want him to be alone.”

“I don’t know,” Kun furrowed his brows, “maybe it’d be better for someone to stay back with him. I mean, we’ll have to bring our new recruits. It’s already quite a lot to present three newbies to these kinds of events, bringing Sicheng feels like it’d be irresponsible.”

Taeyong put the paper on the coffee table, “I’m aware. But you know how it’d look if one of us didn’t show up. We’re the only SM group meant to show up in full numbers for this event. I don’t want any rivals getting ideas. Especially not those guys from iKON.”

“Taeyong is right, it will definitely be noticed if someone stays back,” Taeil said, “if not by rivals, then by our allies. Perhaps we could bring him, but send him and the newbies home early? That wouldn’t look as suspicious.”

“You want to leave Sicheng alone with those three? I know they seem reliable, but we don’t know how they’ll react to Sicheng,” Kun said.

“Johnny said Jungwoo showed nothing but kindness towards Sicheng, why would Lucas or Mark be so different?” Taeil argued.

Taeyong sat back in the couch, “I don’t know. Jaehyun didn’t sound to keen on letting Jungwoo be alone with Sicheng.”

“If he can control himself around methheads and dealers, I think he can control himself around an innocent kid,” Taeil said.

“Except people aren’t as nice as you want them to be, Taeil,” Kun said with a frown, “maybe someone like Sicheng is exactly the type he _can’t_ control himself around.”

“But it’s the best option,” Taeil said sternly, “even if we don’t think about our rivals, it’ll definitely create suspicion with other SM groups if someone’s missing. There’s a reason we haven’t told them about Sicheng.”

“So showing up with him to an event is your solution?”

Taeil rolled his eyes, “we’ll just tell them the same Taeyong told those YG kids. He’s a Taiwanese business partner, his name is Winwin and his Korean is limited.”

“Except those YG kids think he’s fluent,” Taeyong interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“We can keep them away from him, can’t we? He doesn’t have to talk to them, and I doubt _anyone_ from YG are going to strike up a conversation with someone from SNSD or something. They won’t know that those things don’t line up.”

Kun scoffed, “I still think it’s a bad idea.”

“Maybe so,” Taeyong said, “but it’s the best one we have.”

Taeil sighed and stood up. He left the living room and went upstairs. He wanted to just go lie down and think, maybe come up with a better plan. He didn’t mean to stop outside of the room he knew Sicheng was currently hiding himself away in.

Taeil stared at the door.

It seemed that anytime anyone got Sicheng a little bit out of his shell, anytime anyone got him just a step closer to being somewhat happy, he forced himself to take two steps back. He hid away in the room, became quiet and just waited for the next order. He didn’t even say when he was hungry. He waited until someone told him to go eat. He still showered, obviously that wasn’t going to stop because of a lack of orders. His need to stay pretty was strong. Being pleasing to look at, nice to be around was a top priority even without his triad’s leader around. He just waited for someone to tell him what to do.

Taeil gently knocked on the door. He pushed the door open and saw Sicheng sitting on his bed, staring at the window.

“Sicheng?”

The boy looked at him. Expectantly. He really was just waiting for orders.

“Aren’t you bored just sitting around in here?” Taeil asked, walking over and taking a seat on the edge of Sicheng’s bed.

Sicheng shrugged.

Taeil looked around and spotted the box Yuta had gifted the boy.

“You don’t want to play some games? Yuta gave you so many, you can’t have finished them all already.”

Sicheng looked over at the box too, “I don’t want to.”

Taeil hummed, “we could play a board game? You seemed to enjoy playing with Johnny, Jaehyun and Doyoung?”

Sicheng shrugged again, “if you want me to...”

“No, no that’s not what I meant,” Taeil said quickly, “I’m asking if _you_  want to.”

“What I want to doesn’t matter...” Sicheng muttered.

“Of course it does,” Taeil said, “Sicheng we all just want you to be comfortable.”

The boy pulled his legs up, hugging his knees to his chest, “I don’t like it.”

Taeil blinked, “what? You don’t like us wanting to help you?”

Sicheng hid his face, “it’s not helping. I don’t like it.”

“You have a dangerous mindset, you shouldn’t live like this,” Taeil said, placing a hand on Sicheng’s arm, “you can’t go around thinking that you don’t matter, because you do. We want to help you understa-”

“I don’t like it!” Sicheng exclaimed, “ _I don’t want help! I want things to be normal. It hurts! It hurts when you try to help me! I don’t matter! I don’t! I don’t want to matter!_ ”

The boy was crying. Rocking back and forth as he repeated the Chinese words to himself.

Taeil sat in shock. Sicheng had yelled at him.

Kun and Taeyong was in the room suddenly. Taeyong looked lost while Kun hurried to Sicheng’s side, trying to calm him down in their shared native language.

Taeil stood up and walked to the door motioning for Taeyong to follow. The leader hesitated, but decided that Kun could handle the situation and then followed. Taeyong looked worriedly at Taeil as the oldest ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know if what we’re doing is enough, Taeyong.”

Taeyong paused. He looked towards the room where they could still hear Sicheng crying.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not getting better in the least. Every time it seems like he’s opening up, he hides away and goes right back to acting like some emotionless doll. And I don’t think the breakdowns in between are good for him.”

Taeyong frowned, “so what do you think we should do?”

“You won’t like it.”

“Just say it.”

“You have to give him orders.”

“What?!” Taeyong looked at Taeil in disbelief, “absolutely not. He’s been ordered around for years in that triad. That’s literally the reason his brain is so messed up.”

“I told you you wouldn’t like it,” Taeil sighed, “but I’m serious. I’m not asking you to force him to do the same things as in the triad, okay? I just don’t think we can let him hide away like this.”

“So what? You want me to force him to be social?”

“Something like that,” Taeil shrugged, “just tell him to stick around after dinner or watch a show with us. He can’t be alone with his thoughts, Taeyong. That’s what’s keeping him in that mindset.”

Taeyong averted his gaze. He furrowed his brows and huffed. He really didn’t want to, but perhaps Taeil was right. Maybe they needed to put more pressure on the boy to help him get better.

Taeyong met Taeil’s eyes again, “starting next week.”

Taeil nodded, “alright.”

 

* * *

 

 

Yuta and Hansol were casually chatting while keeping an eye out on the main part of the club. The dance floor was filled and so was the bar. Every seat was taken and Ten had confirmed that the floor beneath was just as full. Jaehyun hung around upstairs where people could sit down for a smoke as well as play pool or beerpong. It never got too crazy at that floor, so they rarely needed multiple people there.

Hansol elbowed Yuta suddenly, making the other pause his words. Hansol nodded towards the entrance and Yuta couldn’t hold back a smile.

Joy came in followed by Seulgi and Irene, though unlike them she was obviously looking for something or _someone_. Yuta and Hansol shared looks before making their way over to the girls.

Irene noticed them first and smiled. She patted Seulgi’s arm, who in turn made Joy aware of them too.

“Hello ladies,” Yuta smiled, “you look like you’re on a search for something, Joy?”

Irene and Seulgi laughed at the tone of Yuta’s voice. Joy just rolled her eyes playfully.

“Just tell me where he is,” Joy demanded, raising her voice to be heard over the music.

Yuta couldn’t hold back an amused grin, “he’s upstairs.”

Joy smiled, “can I take him home?”

Yuta looked at Hansol, who shrugged. He turned back to the girl and nodded.

“If things are good upstairs you can. Tell him we’ll take care of things.”

Joy made a happy sound and excitedly hurried off to find Jaehyun. Irene and Seulgi watched her go. Irene shook her head with a smile and Seulgi rolled her eyes dramatically.

“I’m glad I don’t have to kick Taeyong’s ass,” Irene commented.

Hansol let out a laugh. Yuta smiled confusedly at Irene.

“Why would you need to do that?”

Irene smiled, “since he keeps putting work on Jaehyun. I don’t like seeing my girls deprived or neglected.”

Yuta laughed, “oh, poor Joy. I’m sure Jae will make up for it.”

“He better or I’ll have to kick his ass too,” Irene joked.

Seulgi interrupted, demanding that the two girls needed drinks, so Yuta and Hansol sent the girls off. They watched them hurry to the bar, obviously getting served quickly.

“So, what do you think will happen with those two?” Hansol asked.

Yuta turned to him, “Jae and Joy? I don’t know. I don’t think they know either.”

Hansol hummed, “you don’t think they’ll become something more?”

“If nothing gets in the way, maybe they will,” Yuta shrugged, “oh, and speaking of the devil.”

Hansol followed Yuta’s gaze and smiled. Joy had a tight grip on Jaehyun’s blazer as she dragged him through the crowd. Jaehyun looked flustered but excited. They made it to Yuta and Hansol, and Jaehyun stopped Joy’s march.

“You’re sure you got things under control?” Jaehyun asked, genuinely concerned, but he obviously wanted to hear a ‘yes’.

Yuta pushed his shoulder playfully, “of course. Just go. And don’t forget to use protection.”

Jaehyun was about to reply, but Joy was already pulling him along, quickly waving at Yuta and Hansol. They waved back, both amused by whatever relationship was developing between the two. Even if they never became anything official, it was obvious that they were close.

Yuta sighed suddenly. Hansol looked at him and frowned at the sadness on his face. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for saying yes to being moved. He didn’t want to leave Yuta or NCT, but he knew he couldn’t be selfish. If he was needed elsewhere he should help there. He had trained newbies before and he wasn’t new to recruiting either, he was the reason Doyoung was in NCT. Hansol knew that Yuta wouldn’t try to stop him, they both knew better than to be selfish in the situation, but as Hansol’s last day in NCT drew near they both felt a bit down.

“I’ll come visit you all,” Hansol said, “I promise.”

Yuta forced a smile, “you better.”

Hansol grabbed Yuta’s hand and laced their fingers together. Yuta gave Hansol’s hand a squeeze. They didn’t talk much the rest of the night. They just stayed close to each other. That’s what they’d been doing whenever they had the chance ever since Hansol accepted being moved. Even with Sicheng becoming a part of their lives and the undeniable stress that came with it, they still managed to find time just for them. Taeyong and the other members made sure to give them room too, knowing how much the thought of separation hurt them both.

The night went on peacefully, as peaceful as a filled club with loud music could be. There were no problems with any guests. Not that any of the members would get involved in any fights or disagreements between normal guests. They’d only get involved if any police or members from other gangs happened to show up.

While Yuta and Hansol kept an eye out on the main floor, Doyoung and Ten were serving drinks on the floor beneath. It was basement level with a smaller dance floor, but more seats. There wasn’t a DJ down there either, instead a playlist provided the music. The playlist was a mix of more genres than at the floor above, since up there the music that played was meant for dancing, while people downstairs were mostly just swinging casually to the music if they weren’t sitting.

Ten and Doyoung both had their eyes on guests as well. They served drinks, but only as a cover. They weren’t as fit for taking on the role as guards as other members. Ten’s stature wasn’t intimidating enough, even if his members knew he was dangerous, and despite Doyoung’s height he’d agreed that he probably wasn’t the best fitted for the role of a guard. Though, he had actually acted as one a few times when it’d been needed.

The actual bartenders around them were extremely busy, but Ten and Doyoung had the privilege of not actually needing to serve anyone. They helped out, but didn’t make it their priority. They did just enough to not make anyone suspicious of them being behind the bar. They’d serve some of the guests while looking out for any rivals that might have slipped through the cracks on the floor above. They also watched for anyone trying to sell illegal substances in their club. They had to keep things like that away from their facade business, since they knew the police were just waiting for any reason to get a search warrant on their property.

To both men’s relief they too had a night with no problems or disturbances of any kind. Most nights were like that but it was impossible not to be on edge when all the members knew how many people wanted to take them down. They certainly had ways to manipulate the right people so the police were forced to back off unless they really fucked up, but their rivals interfering could be exactly the fuck up the police was waiting for.

They closed the two floors above and below the main one around 4am. At 5am they asked the remaining guests to leave. The employees cleaned up the bar while Doyoung and Ten joined Yuta and Hansol in checking for any signs of drugs. An hour later the employees went home and the members could go up to their rooms. A group of cleaners would arrive to clean the club thoroughly around 8am, but they’d been given keys. Since they’d checked for any drugs that might have come in, they didn’t have to keep an eye on the cleaners. Nothing would be reported and as long as the bottles of alcohol fit what the employees had counted, there would be no problems.

All the members took their responsibility seriously and since Taeyong had managed to make their facade so believable, there was no way they’d mess it up. They had too much respect for their leader and would never disappoint him. Without him taking the role of leader none of them would have had anyone to consider their real family. They owed it to him to keep NCT in the clear.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just started a new semester at uni, so updates will probably be slow from now on sorry :^)  
> anyway i hope you like this, not much action, bit of a filler chapter, but it's leading up to some (hopefully) more exciting chapters i swear

The sound of the front door opening made everyone look up from their breakfast. Jaehyun entered and met knowing looks from all his members. He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help smiling a bit. Sicheng could tell that they all knew something he didn’t.

“I don’t remember saying you could leave early three days in a row?” Taeyong said teasingly, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I’m sure everyone managed without me,” Jaehyun said.

His voice was hoarse and his hair was a mess. He had marks on his neck, some looked new, but others looked like they were maybe a day or two old. Sicheng was good at estimating how old bruises were and he figured Jaehyun must have gotten them during the weekend. He had barely seen Jaehyun since he left with the other members on Friday. He came home late both Saturday and Sunday, showered and got dressed in the fully black outfit Yuta and Hansol also wore, and then he’d left with them again.

“You want something to eat or do you just want to sleep?” Doyoung asked.

Jaehyun paused, considering it. He sighed and hurried over to the table.

“Sleep has to wait, I’m starving.”

Johnny laughed, “yeah, I’m sure Joy gave you a good workout, huh?”

Jaehyun sent Johnny a fake angry look and stuffed some food in his mouth. Everyone went back to their food as well, chatting casually. Once in a while, a comment would be made towards Jaehyun, who would either roll his eyes or smile.

Sicheng glanced towards the stairs. He’d finished eating, so he might as well go up to the room. He grabbed his plate and went to the kitchen, putting it in the dishwasher. He then hurried towards the stairs, but Taeyong’s voice stopped him.

“Sicheng?”

The boy turned around and Taeyong felt his heart hurt. Sicheng looked wide eyed at him. Taeyong felt bad for using his ‘leader voice’, but it just slipped out. Obviously the boy was expecting the worst now.

“Y-yes?” Sicheng anxiously played with the ends of his sleeves.

“I think you should stick around down here,” Taeyong said, his voice more soft, “we’re going to make some room changes.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Sicheng awkwardly returned to the table and sat down.

“We’re switching rooms?” Jaehyun asked.

“Yeah,” Taeyong said, “I want to move Jungwoo, Lucas and Mark in next week, so we’ll have the event as the final test. Since they’ve been approved otherwise, I don’t see any reason in putting it off any longer.”

“How much are we changing?” Doyoung asked.

“You and Jaehyun are staying in your room, and Jungwoo will room with you. I want Sicheng’s bed moved in to Yuta and Hansol’s room. Mark will room with Johnny and Ten, and Kun and Lucas will take one of the spare rooms.”

Taeyong got no objections.

Sicheng blinked. He was moving rooms? He glanced at Yuta, who’d been listening to the leader. The man met his eyes and smiled. Sicheng looked down. He wasn’t sure what to think. Yuta wasn’t that scary, but he was _a lot_. He’d teased Sicheng, making the boy blush red like a tomato, and the boy had seen him be loud and touchy with the other members as well. Hansol was intimidating, but he seemed to mostly stick to Yuta. Perhaps the two would mostly ignore him? Sicheng wasn’t sure what to hope for.

“No one has any problems with these changes?” Taeyong asked.

The members shook their heads and confirmed that they were fine with the new room arrangements.

“Sicheng?”

“Huh?” Sicheng seemed to shrink as they all looked at him.

“Are you fine with rooming with Yuta and Hansol?” Taeyong asked.

Sicheng looked at Yuta again. He smiled reassuringly. Hansol, who sat beside Yuta, just looked at him. He wasn’t glaring, but something about him was still a bit scary.

“Yes. It’s fine,” Sicheng nodded.

“Okay,” Taeyong smiled, “let’s clean this up and get some things moved around, alright?”

So they got started. They cleaned up the table quickly and Taeyong then started giving out orders, so they could get things moved around quickly. Sicheng wasn’t really sure what to do. He just sat by the table, watching them. Yuta seemed to notice and he walked over.

“Hey Sicheng,” Yuta put a hand on his shoulder, “Hansol and I are gonna go move your bed now, why don’t you come with us, so you can move your clothes?”

“Okay,” Sicheng said hesitantly.

He stood up and Yuta wrapped an arm around him, leading him upstairs with a smile. Hansol followed. They stopped outside the room Sicheng was currently in.

“Alright,” Yuta started, “you wait right here. We’ll move your bed and then you can grab your clothes, alright?”

Sicheng nodded. Yuta gave him a pat on the shoulder and a quick ‘ _good!_ ’ and then he and Hansol got to work. Sicheng watched as they got his bed through the doorway with a bit of trouble. They got it into their room and Sicheng went to get his clothes. It only took up a little bit of room in the closet that he’d shared with Jaehyun.

Speaking of Jaehyun.

“You need help?”

Sicheng shook his head, “it’s alright.”

Jaehyun huffed, “just let me help you, okay?”

Jaehyun walked over and pushed Sicheng to the side. He pulled Sicheng’s clothing out of the closet quickly. He stared folding it, so it’d be easier to carry. Sicheng quickly started folding things as well. He shouldn’t let Jaehyun do all the work. It was pretty hopeless though, Jaehyun was quick and Sicheng had never really learned how to fold clothes neatly. Though looking at the messy pile, Jaehyun hadn’t learned how to fold neatly either.

While they folded the clothes Hansol and Yuta returned. Hansol picked up the duvet and pillow they’d left behind when they carried the bed to their room. He left the room right after.

“How nice of you to help out, Jaehyun,” Yuta said in a teasing tone, picking up some of the clothes Jaehyun and Sicheng had been stacking.

Jaehyun hummed. Yuta left the room with a knowing smile. They finished folding the clothes and Sicheng was about to pick it up.

“I got it,” Jaehyun grabbed the pile and walked to the door.

“Oh,” Sicheng followed, “thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jaehyun said.

They entered Yuta and Hansol’s room. Jaehyun put down the pile beside the one Yuta had brought in.

Yuta and Hansol were in the middle of rearranging their shared closet. Hansol was moving things around as Yuta told him to. Sicheng looked around the room.

Two beds, Sicheng assumed Hansol and Yuta’s, had been pushed together on one side and the third bed, his he hoped, stood against the wall across theirs. There was one big window letting sun into the room. One desk and one closet. They also had a set of drawers.

“Sicheng?”

They all turned around to see Doyoung in the doorway. He walked over to the boy and handed him the box of games Yuta had given him.

“Don’t forget these,” Doyoung smiled.

“Right,” Sicheng gave a hesitant smile back, “thank you.”

“Sure thing,” Doyoung said and turned to Yuta and Hansol, “you’ve got everything under control?”

Yuta nodded, “yeah, we just have to make room in the closet.”

“Okay,” Doyoung paused, “what’s with the beds?”

He pointed at the two beds that had been pushed together.

“I was wondering about that too,” Jaehyun crossed his arms with a teasing smile, “you aren’t planning on traumatizing the boy, are you?”

Yuta flipped them off in response. Hansol rolled his eyes. Sicheng looked curiously around at the men.

“Traumatize...?” Sicheng repeated quietly. He’d heard the word before, he was pretty sure. While the triad had lived in Korea, they’d mostly had Chinese guests, but once in a while Korean guests would come by. They didn’t seem as scary as the Chinese ones, Sicheng had figured that the Koreans hadn’t been triad or gang members. He hardly spoke to anyone of them, but still Jianjun had required that he learned Korean, at least to understand it, so he could report any incidents that might happen. If anyone tried touching him or said something inappropriate. He could say a few lines practically fluently, but that was only to keep up the facade of a pretty and perfect decoration even to the foreign guests they might have.

“Sicheng?”

“Uh, yes?”

The boy looked at Yuta, who was staring at him with concern in his eyes. Doyoung was the same, Hansol and Jaehyun looked more skeptical or confused.

“Everything alright?”

“Oh, yes,” Sicheng nodded, “I’m fine. Sorry.”

“Hey, no need to apologize,” Doyoung reassured, walking over and placing a hand on Sicheng’s shoulder, “we just get a bit worried when you space out like that.”

“Sorry, wait, no,” Sicheng panicked, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be sorry.”

“Hey, hey,” Yuta wrapped an arm around Sicheng again, “calm down. You don’t have to apologize for apologizing either, okay? We won’t get mad over something silly like that.”

“Okay,” Sicheng said, trying not to tense up from being touched. It was something these men did freely. No one seemed bothered by an arm around the shoulder or basically lying on top of each other, but Sicheng was so used to only being touched gently by Jianjun. Otherwise he was dragged or pulled or manhandled.

“Good boy,” Yuta said and ruffled Sicheng’s dark hair, “let’s just get your clothes into the closet and then we’re officially roommates.”

“I feel bad for you, Sicheng,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Yuta frowned.

“I mean he’s rooming with you, can it get any worse?”

“He roomed with you didn’t he? Anything is an upgrade after that!”

Doyoung held back a laugh and pulled on Jaehyun’s arm, “let’s just go help the others, alright, Jae?”

Jaehyun flipped off Yuta before leaving the room with Doyoung.

“What a brat,” Yuta commented.

“As if you’re much better,” Hansol said casually, picking up Sicheng’s clothes and placing it on the shelf they’d emptied.

“Are you against me too?” Yuta asked, widening his eyes and covering his mouth in exaggerated shock.

“Shut up,” Hansol said with a smile, “you can’t deny how childish you can be.”

Yuta stuck his tongue out at Hansol, who in turn flicked his forehead. Yuta flinched and placed a hand where he’d been flicked. He gave Hansol a mean look.

“Way to prove my point,” Hansol smiled.

Sicheng stood by awkwardly. He could tell Yuta and Hansol were close and he felt like he was imposing on them just by being the room. The idea of sharing a room with them seemed kind of overwhelming. Wouldn’t he just be a bother?

“So, Sicheng,” Yuta said, getting the boy’s attention, “I really hope you’re okay with staying here, we wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine,” Sicheng said quickly.

“Really? You don’t have to lie if you’d rather stay with Kun or Doyoung.”

“I really don’t mind,” Sicheng assured. He was lying, but there was no way he’d go against what Taeyong ordered.

Yuta stepped closer and placed both hands on Sicheng’s shoulders. Yuta smiled and Sicheng wondered for a brief second why Jianjun had placed his looks so high when someone could look as handsome as Yuta. His smile only made him look better.

“We promise to take really good care of you, okay? We’ll definitely be better roommates than Jaehyun!”

Hansol snickered.

Sicheng played with the ends of his sleeves, “he wasn’t that bad...”

Yuta gave him a knowing look and wrapped an arm around Sicheng’s shoulders. He looked into Sicheng’s eyes. He looked incredibly serious and Sicheng was ready to panic again.

“You haven’t roomed with him long enough to know the true horror, Sicheng,” Yuta spoke. Hansol laughed again and Yuta continued, “Jaehyun comes from a _very_  good family and so he’s never learned how to clean up after himself.”

Hansol snorted, “you make it sound like a horror story!”

“It almost was!” Yuta laughed, “don’t you remember when he roomed with Taeyong when he first joined? God, we almost had to say our final goodbyes to dear Jaehyun.”

Hansol shook his head with a smile, “I’ve never seen Taeyong angry over something so trivial.”

“Let it be a warning to you,” Yuta told Sicheng, “never leave a mess in Taeyong’s room or around his person. He a neat freak.”

Sicheng nodded, a bit baffled at the friendly atmosphere and Hansol’s remarks. He seemed so cold. Even if Sicheng had seen him like this once before, he still thought of him as the tall blond with the cold and intimidating look on his face. In a way he reminded Sicheng of the triad members. Not that that made him any less scary.

The members finished moving things around and the rest of the day was rather uneventful, other than Taeyong asking Sicheng to stay downstairs in the living room with them. He mostly kept quiet and sat by himself, though Yuta coaxed him to sit by his side after they’d all eaten dinner. No one went anywhere that night except for Doyoung and Kun, who’d gone to get the pizza that they ordered for dinner.

 

* * *

 

 

The week seemed to go by fast for everyone but Sicheng. The men left and came back as they pleased, except for the instances where they left on Taeyong’s orders. Taeyong had also given Sicheng an order. He had to stay around the members. He could no longer hide away from his doubts in the room, unless Yuta and Hansol were there. Taeyong wanted him to be social. So he stuck around the living room, sat by the dining table while someone cooked or played on the games while Yuta and Hansol lounged in their room. He didn’t speak unless spoken to and he kept himself at a distance at all times. He didn’t move away if someone sat beside him, but they could all sense his discomfort with proximity, so mostly the members would let him have his space. Only Yuta seemed to get close to Sicheng without worrying too much about the boy being uncomfortable. Taeyong had thought about telling Yuta to turn down the touchiness, but Taeil had spoken against that idea. He hoped that Yuta’s more aggressive personality would work better than their otherwise gentle approach with the boy.

Sicheng was struggling a bit with rooming with Yuta and Hansol. Yuta was very friendly, but also very touchy. He was constantly touching someone, mostly Hansol, but he’d often throw an arm around Sicheng’s shoulders or pull him along by the arm. Sicheng couldn’t help but tense up and lean away when someone touched him, but Yuta didn’t seem to be bothered by that. Maybe he didn’t notice, maybe he was just persistent. Sicheng wasn’t sure.

Meanwhile Hansol kept minding his own business. He really did stick around Yuta most of the time, or perhaps it was the other way around? Regardless, the two were close and Sicheng moving into the room didn’t seem to change that. They pretty much shared a bed and Hansol’s more reclusive personality seemed to be the only thing keeping them from constant PDA. Sicheng would like to hide away in the room, but found himself fleeing to the living room when Yuta got a bit too touchy with Hansol. He felt like he was witnessing things he shouldn’t. Like he was being exposed to all the things the triad had tried to shield him from. The scenes in movies and dramas that he’d been told to skip were unfolding in front of him every time he entered the room. At least that’s how it felt to him.

The few days of getting settled in the new room felt eternally long, but in the end it was once again Friday. Taeyong had gathered everyone in the meeting room where they’d first discussed the situation with Sicheng. They were all sitting around waiting, including Sicheng. He didn’t know what they were waiting for, but it made him nervous. He couldn’t help but feel paranoid.

Maybe they finally realized how useless he was? They obviously didn’t care for the things he’d been taught in the triad, so why would they keep him around? Now he just wondered if they’d throw him out on the street to fend for himself or simply kill him. The last option didn’t feel like something Taeyong would like to do, if what he had understood about the man was true. Though, he had threatened Sicheng on the first day and Jaehyun obviously had no qualms when it came to taking a life.

Taeyong’s phone buzzed. He took a look at the message and nodded at Hansol and Johnny, who quickly left the room.

“They’re finally here?” Doyoung asked.

Taeyong hummed in confirmation. A few minutes later Johnny and Hansol returned. Three young men followed. Sicheng recognized them. It was Jungwoo and the two others who’d shown up with bruises all over, the day after he’d moved in. Their bruises had healed nicely, though some were still visible. Sicheng couldn’t see any scars, despite the fact that they’d obviously bled that day.

The three young men quickly bowed and took seats around the long table. Johnny shut the door and he and Hansol got back to their seats as well.

Everyone looked at Taeyong. He took a second before speaking.

“So, we all agree that the three of you have done great during your initiation tests. You’ve shown yourself to be very capable and after cross-checking with other SM members, we think you’ve shown a great deal of loyalty too. You have potential. We want to let you join NCT officially, there’s just one last test you need to pass. And it needs to be with flying colors.”

Sicheng felt a shiver run down his spine. Despite Taeyong’s words being positive, they were sharp. He didn’t speak like a friend. Sicheng had heard him speak like a friend, like a brother, to his members. He’d heard friendly words directed at himself. Right now, though, Taeyong spoke as a leader. As a leader that accepted no failure and it made Sicheng’s blood run cold.

He looked at the three new ‘recruits’, he supposed that’s what they were, only to see no apparent fear. They looked determined. Their eyes were full of respect and willingness. Perhaps they were scared of Taeyong, but their respect for him obviously outweighed that. They were listening carefully, hanging resolutely of every word.

Taeyong continued.

“Tomorrow we’ll all attend a charity event. Obviously we’re not there for charity, but that’s besides the point. We’re there for connections. You don’t need to worry about that. Johnny, Taeil and I are in charge of that,” Taeyong looked at Sicheng, “you need to keep an eye on him.”

They all looked at Sicheng and he squirmed uncomfortably. Jungwoo gave him a small smile, seemingly wanting to reassure Sicheng without stepping out of line.

“What exactly is it we should do?” The brunet asked.

Taeyong sighed, still looking at Sicheng. Sicheng couldn’t blame him. He really was nothing but a problem to them.

“He’s not exactly a member. It’s a long story, you’ll get it later. His name is Sicheng and he’s 20 years old. So Jaehyun’s age.”

“What?” The blond exclaimed, quickly covering his mouth. He lowered his voice, “he’s seriously older than us?”

Taeyong’s leader facade faded as he cracked an amused smile, “yeah. He’s older than you.”

All three young men were wide eyed and so was Sicheng. He’d figured that the brunet was younger than him, a boy really. He’d been unsure of Jungwoo’s age, but he’d figured that he’d at least be Sicheng’s own age. The blond had been hard to make out. He was tall and looked strong and confident, but there was still something childlike about him. Still, Sicheng was surprised.

“Oh yeah, by the way,” Taeyong motioned to the men, well boys, as he presented them, “Sicheng, you’ve already met Jungwoo. These two are Lucas and Mark.”

Sicheng quietly greeted them. The three returned the greeting, though more confidently than he’d been.

“As to what you’re actually doing,” Taeyong got back to the original point, “you’re simply keeping an eye on him, making sure no one tries to talk to him.”

“Not even other people under SM?” Lucas asked.

“Not even them,” Taeyong said, “no one outside of NCT can talk to him. You have to make sure of that discreetly, alright? Distract people, lead him to another part of the room, I don’t care. Just make sure people don’t get suspicious. Can you do that?”

The three recruits nodded their heads. They were determined to please their soon-to-be official leader.

“Good,” Taeyong turned to Sicheng, “I need you to do something as well.”

Sicheng nodded and quietly asked, “what is it?”

“When I took you out to eat and we met those two people, Bobby and Lisa? You remember them?”

Sicheng nodded again.

“I need you to act like you did at that time. You need to carry yourself like that until I send you home.”

“Okay,” Sicheng spoke quietly, “I can do that.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” Sicheng confirmed. He’d put on that mask plenty of times. Jianjun preferred when he acted like that. Confident. He was worth showing off when he acted like that. Sicheng wished that could just be his actual personality, confident, unafraid and charming, but his constant fears would never allow him to truly feel at home in himself with that mask on. He could only keep the facade up for so long before his fake confidence crumbled under the pressure of trying to be perfect. He could do it for a night, though, he’d done that before.

“Great,” Taeyong’s face became more gentle, “I’ll give you more information tomorrow. We’re taking you to see some stylists, so you can get dressed up for the event.”

“Oh? A makeover?” Jungwoo questioned.

“Something like that,” Taeyong said, “you need the right clothes, and we might change your hair as well. You’ll have to meet up here again tomorrow morning so we have time for everything.”

The boys nodded. Lucas tilted his head, “why the hair change, though? I mean, I know my roots are getting kinda wild, but still?”

Taeyong smiled again, “we just want to make you less recognizable to anyone who knew you before SM and NCT.”

“I see,” Lucas nodded, “I guess that makes sense.”

“Also, you’re absolutely right about your roots,” Ten spoke up, “they would not be considered acceptable at an event like the one tomorrow.”

Snickers came from the members at Ten’s comment. Lucas had first been a bit surprised, but when the others laughed he couldn’t hold back a smile. Mark and Jungwoo shared knowing looks, as they’d both been subjected to Lucas complaining about the roots yet doing nothing about them.

Sicheng watched this all unfold with a small frown. These three guys had just walked in and they already seemed like they belonged, like they’d always been apart of this group. Sicheng really was the odd one out.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you smell that? uh oh smells like the implications of sad backstories coming your way! dw guys i made sure that everyone gets their own angsty background ur welcome :)

“Could you hurry up?!”

Renjun turned his head to glare at the younger boy, “could you be more patient?!”

He turned back to the lock, concentrating on getting it open.

“How hard can it be to pick a lock?”

“Do _you_ want to do it?” Renjun asked sarcastically. Haechan didn’t answer. Renjun didn’t need to look back to know that the boy was pouting angrily.

It only took a few more seconds before the sound of the door unlocking was heard. Renjun straightened up and turned to the other boys. They were by the backdoor of an electronics store. The way to the back was through a one-way alley. There were no lampposts in the alley, so Renjun had had to pick the lock using the light from Haechan’s phone. Though it was in the middle of the night, they could risk getting caught if they weren’t careful so two of them, Jeno and Jaemin, stood guard at the edge of the building.

“Are we ready?” Renjun asked.

“Yeah,” Chenle said, handing the older boy one of their ski masks.

“I’ve been ready for a while now,” Haechan commented, pulling on his mask.

“Now is so not the time for your attitude,” Renjun replied, putting on his mask as well.

Haechan sent Renjun a look, but kept quiet. Chenle and the youngest of the bunch, Jisung, put on their masks too.

“Okay, when I open this door, we know what will happen,” Renjun said, grabbing the door handle, “the alarm will go off and then we have ten minutes at most before we have to get out. Grab what you can, whatever looks like it’ll bring in the most cash and then we’re out of there, got it?”

A quiet chorus of _‘got it’_ s came from the three boys. Renjun waved at Jeno and Jaemin, who sent back a thumbs up each. As soon as the alarm went off Jeno would be off to get their van, a gray two seater with lots of space in the back.

Renjun counted down from three on his fingers and then he swung open the door. The four boys rushed in as the alarm started blaring. This had Jeno running off, leaving Jaemin to keep watch.

Inside the store, Haechan went straight for the phones, using a small but effective metal pipe to break the glass to the display case of the most expensive brands. He hurriedly stuffed them in a duffel bag, pulling the charges from the sockets as well.

Chenle and Jisung filled their bags with anything still in package - stereos, tablets, headphones, anything of value really. Renjun kept it small, grabbing stuff that didn’t take up much room, but could bring in money nonetheless; phone covers, replacement cords, printer cartridges and things like that.

They were out almost as soon as they were in. Renjun gave the sign to get out of there and they took off, booking it out of the store and through the alley. Jeno had the van running on the road right outside the alleyway. Jaemin was holding the sliding door open, motioning for the boys to hurry. They jumped in the back and Jeno floored it. The van was off before Jaemin had even closed the door. They were out of there without even hearing a single police siren. They were getting good.

“What’d you get?” Jaemin asked.

The boys pulled off their masks. They pushed their bags into the middle between them. Jaemin curiously checked Jisung’s. He looked up at the youngest with a cheeky grin.

“Be honest, Jisung, did you steal this for yourself?” Jaemin held up a gaming console that they all knew he’d been wanting for a while.

Jisung smiled sheepishly, “maybe?”

They all laughed. Not only at Jisung, but in ecstasy as well. The more they stole, the more risky their crimes got and the better the executed them, the better it felt. It was a crazy rush of adrenaline. They felt high when they were in that hurry to get in and out of places, and when they all sat like this afterwards, it was like floating. Like they weren’t driving around in an ugly old van, but flying around in some futuristic spaceship. They were on top of the world. It felt like no one could touch them. No one could control them anymore. They were young and free and despite their risky lifestyle, none of them had ever been happier.

They soon arrived at their current hideout, ready to celebrate their looting. It was an abandoned store in a parking lot, far away from everything. They’d kicked out a few junkies and spray painted the facade to keep others away. Unlike the other faded graffiti tags, ‘NEO’ was still clear and saturated against the brickwork of the store.

Jeno parked the van, and they all got to work, carrying their bags inside so they could assess the worth of the stolen goods. They’d be able to sell them cheaper easily. They weren’t some big business, but they got the money they needed to stay alive. Living out of the van, moving from one abandoned place to another to keep out of the eyes of the police, it really wasn’t so bad. Not with what living at home had been like for them all. This life was the best life they’d ever had.

 

* * *

 

 

Jungwoo smiled at his reflection, “I like it! It looks really good.”

The hairdresser smiled back, “I’m glad, I figured at lighter color would fit you. It really enhances your more youthful features and gives a nice ‘boy next door’-look.”

The dark color Jungwoo had had was replaced with a copper and his middle part was now a side parting. After cutting the tips, his hair gave him quite a soft look. Jungwoo knew that was the point. To make him look as non-threatening as possible. He didn’t mind it, he’d always played on his innocent looks.

He looked over at Sicheng.

If only he could manage to copy the looks the Chinese boy made. No one would ever suspect him of a thing. Sicheng was so interesting. How could he be so innocent and naive? It was intriguing. Usually Jungwoo would do something about his fascination, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t go over well with his new leader or the other members of NCT.

Mark’s makeover hadn’t been too extreme, they’d cut the tips and dyed it black. Lucas had gotten his hair dyed black too, but he’d lost the most length. His hair was now rather short and quiffed up in the front. It was a simple style, but rather different from the longer dirty blond hairdo he’d sported before. Jungwoo couldn’t quite figure out if the new style made Lucas look more mature or like an actual child.

The newbies weren’t the only ones to undergo a change. Taeyong ditched the red for a gray-ish brown, Taeil picked up the red, though in a darker shade than the one Taeyong had had. Johnny’s brown hair was a few shades darker, while Ten had decided to switch out the gray for all black. Yuta too changed his hair, from brown to a dusty pink. They all changed their hair rather frequently to keep people from recognizing them and they didn’t shy away from the unnatural colors.

Sicheng had sat by himself as soon as one of the women working in the store had done his makeup. He’d carefully asked Taeyong to be left alone during the time before the event. He needed to charge up the mental energy to put on his act. Taeyong had accepted and had told everyone to leave the boy alone when it wasn’t necessary to talk to him. Even the makeup artist hadn’t spoken to him.

Taeyong had not only told the women to not speak to Sicheng, he’d asked them to make Sicheng look out of place. It really didn’t help Sicheng’s already crippling doubts, but he knew that he couldn’t look like a member. Where everyone else just had light makeup to cover up any flaws, Sicheng had gotten a brown smokey eye to go with a light contour. His hair had been styled to get his bangs out of his face. Now he just sat there, waiting for the rest of the members to finish up. They’d be off to get their clothing picked out afterwards.

For once time seemed to pass too fast and suddenly they were all dressed and on their way to the charity event.

Sicheng never felt ready when the time came to put on his act. He’d always managed to pull through, but it always came with a intense anxiety that weighed on him like an entire ocean right before he put on the mask. He bit the nail of his thumb, staring nervously out the window. He felt even more out of place now that Taeyong had ordered the stylist to exaggerate it. Everyone else were wearing pretty standard suits in dark colors. Sicheng’s outfit, however, consisted of a white, flowy dress shit with ruffles at the end of the long sleeves. It was tucked into his pants, a dark pair of slim dress pants that made his legs seem longer. Paired with black shoes, golden earpieces and the makeup, he looked really out of place.

It didn’t help his nervousness. He was used to standing out in the triad, with his colorful and feminine clothing, but this was so different. This wasn’t the triad or the well-known home he’d known for years. But he had to pull through. He had to, he couldn’t keep being a problem to these men. His role tonight had to be played perfectly.

Yuta touched his arm gently. Sicheng jumped and turned to the man.

“Are you alright?”

Sicheng nodded quickly, “I’m fine.”

Yuta didn’t look convinced, “are you sure you can pull through tonight?”

Taeyong turned around in the passenger seat, also looking a bit concerned.

“I’ll be fine,” Sicheng assured, “I promise, I’ll do good.”

“If you say so,” Yuta replied, still not completely convinced it seemed. Sicheng also didn’t miss the look Taeyong sent Johnny, who was in the driver’s seat.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at their destination. A large hotel had been rented to house the event. The parking lot was already filled with cars. They all looked expensive. Johnny pulled into one of three empty parking lots that had _reserved_  signs by them. Johnny turned off the car and turned to the other passengers in the car.

“Are you ready?” Johnny looked around, but the question was obviously directed at Sicheng. The boy took a deep breath and nodded.

They left the car and immediately Sicheng let a false calm engulf him. He confidently linked arms with Yuta, when the Japanese man held out his arm. A look of shock crossed Yuta’s face shortly. Taeyong on the other hand, felt relieved. He quickly counted up his members before taking the lead and walking them all to the entrance.

The guards at the entrance all looked quite unhappy with their arrival. Lucas was reminded of the look he’d gotten from the other guard he’d met on his mission with Hansol and Johnny. The guards didn’t speak up, but reluctantly let them in.

They walked from a luxurious lobby into the what looked like a ballroom from a fairy tale.

The place looked amazing. The giant room was open and light. The walls were white with beautifully detailed golden decorative mouldings that ran along the ceiling and the floor, as well as the large windows that let in the evening sun. The ceiling consisted of large mirrors in golden frames. The wooden floor was white as well. The furniture around the big room, tables, chairs, couches and so on, were all in the same style. They were white with golden details and just one of the chairs looked like it alone was worth more than an average month’s rent. Waiters and waitresses walked around in typical fancy attire, serving what looked like champagne in tall glasses and snacks so small they looked like they were made for dolls.

In fact they were made for the guests. Men and women walked around in beautiful and evidently expensive clothing. Beautiful suits and captivating dresses paraded around in a way that screamed for attention. They’d probably used more money paying their stylists than they’d given to the charity.

Lucas, Mark and Jungwoo looked around in awe. Taeyong smiled at the innocence they showed then. He looked to Sicheng. The boy didn’t even seem faced. He radiated calm confidence in a way that made him unapproachable. He looked almost intimidating. Taeyong sent Yuta a look, and the man nodded in understanding. He led Sicheng over to Jungwoo and handed off the boy.

“You remember your orders?”

Determination returned to Jungwoo’s face and he nodded, “yes. Of course.”

“Good, if you need any help, send Mark or Lucas to get one of us.”

Jungwoo nodded again. Yuta gave his shoulder a reassuring pat before he walked off. The group dispersed and Jungwoo, Mark and Lucas were left with Sicheng.

A waiter approached them, offering champagne. Mark and Lucas both took a glass with a smile. Jungwoo handed Sicheng a glass before grabbing one for himself. He then took the lead and walked away from the entrance. He stopped by one of the windows, making sure that Sicheng wasn’t too visible to the other guests. Lucas and Mark both stood in front of them, successfully making a little closed square between them that would keep most people away.

“It’s impressive,” Jungwoo told Sicheng, “how different you can act.”

Sicheng nodded, “thank you.”

He said it flawlessly, the Korean in that moment rolling off his tongue as if it was his first language. Jungwoo watched Sicheng. The boy looked around the room. His face didn’t show any real emotion, he looked cold. He was composed with the slightest frown on his lips. He looked older. He looked handsome and experienced.

“I like it better when you aren’t acting.”

Sicheng looked at Jungwoo in surprise, the mask disappearing for just a second. It was back again quickly and Sicheng raised an eyebrow and frowned deeper.

“Why is that?”

His accent came out this time, just a bit. Jungwoo smiled and shrugged. He turned his attention to Mark and Lucas, who’d been talking among themselves. He easily joined in, signaling that his and Sicheng’s conversation had ended.

Sicheng furrowed his brows, but kept quiet. Jungwoo was something else.

 

Taeyong and Johnny watched the group disperse as the members went off to socialize with the rich men and women, making sure to fit in at the event. Johnny grabbed Taeyong’s attention and nodded towards the two women dressed in all black that approached them.

The woman taking the lead had long dark hair, falling in small waves. Her makeup was simple, but put focus on her eyes. She wore a two-piece outfit that revealed her midriff. A short sleeved blouse with lace from the collar to above her chest. With it she wore high waisted shorts with a see-through tulle skirt that went all the way to the floor. To accompany the outfit she wore a gold necklace with a large pendant, gold bracelets and earrings, and a pair of high-heeled boots. She was beautiful, alluring and incredibly intimidating. Her face was cold, she looked ready to kill.

Then she smiled and suddenly she looked so kind and warm.

“Taeyong, it’s been a while.”

Taeyong returned her smile, and they shared a quick hug, “It has. How are you?”

“I’m good,” she turned to Johnny, “nice to see you.”

Johnny shook her hand, “nice to see you too, Taeyeon.”

The woman behind Taeyeon dropped her cold exterior as well. She stepped forward and engulfed Taeyong in a hug.

“It’s been so long,” she commented excitedly and pulled away, “you look so grown now!”

Taeyong laughed sheepishly, “thank you? It’s good to see you, Sunny.”

Sunny grinned. She was dressed similarly to Taeyeon. A black one-piece with lace running along the bottom of a bra-like top part. Over it she had see-through tulle similar to Taeyeon’s skirt. The upper part was decorated with dots while the bottom part was simply black with another layer that flared out above her knee. She too wore golden accessories; a chunky necklace and a large cross dangling from her ear. The outfit was completed with a pair of black kitten heels. She too looked beautiful and there was no doubt that they’d both been eyed by many guests in both awe and jealousy since they’d arrived.

“Where’s Taeil?” Taeyeon asked.

“Somewhere socializing, I didn’t want to clump us all together.”

Sunny laughed, “you’d block the entrance. How many are you now?”

“Twelve after the pledging,” Taeyong answered, “but we’ll be eleven soon.”

“Oh, right,” Sunny said, “Hansol’s moving, right?”

“Yeah.”

“He is?” Taeyeon looked surprised, “he’s one of your best members. I’ve never seen anyone fight like him.”

Taeyong nodded, “I know, that’s why he’s moving.”

“The higher-ups want him to recruit and train soldiers,” Johnny chimed in, “he felt like he had to accept.”

Taeyeon nodded thoughtfully, “he’s always been very dedicated to our case.”

Taeyong looked to where Hansol and Yuta were chatting with a few women. He sighed with a sad smile, “he owes just as much to everyone involved as I do. I’ll miss him, though.”

Sunny and Taeyeon shared looks. Sunny reached out and rubbed Taeyong’s arm soothingly.

“He’ll miss you too, I’m sure. He’s not gone forever, you know? You’ll still be able to see each other.”

“I know,” Taeyong said, “but it’s still hard to even consider.”

“You’re strong. All of you,” Taeyeon spoke with a reassuring smile, “now chin up, I’ve got some connections to present you to.”

“What kind of connections?” Johnny asked.

“They’re managers for some top tier celebrities, who’d like some Red Flavor for their parties.”

Taeyong smirked, “Irene will love that.”

Taeyeon laughed before leading them off to talk to their possible clients.

 

“Someone’s coming over,” Mark spoke watching a couple approaching out of the corner of his eye. Jungwoo and Lucas met each other’s eyes, confirming what to do without words.

Casually Jungwoo gave a nod and lead Sicheng away. Mark and Lucas stayed back meeting the couple and engaging them in conversation. Sicheng followed Jungwoo through the crowd. Though their path seemed spontaneous as they weaved through guests, Jungwoo had spotted Kun and Doyoung chatting near the long tables that lined one wall, filled with drinks and food for the attendees.

They noticed the two coming over and let Jungwoo and Sicheng pass between them, so Sicheng would be closest to the wall.

“Where’s Lucas and Mark?” Doyoung asked, sipping his champagne.

“Talking with some couple that came over,” Jungwoo said.

“ _How are you holding up?_ ” Kun asked Sicheng, who shrugged.

“ _I’m fine_.”

“ _You don’t drink?_ ” Kun motioned to the filled glass in Sicheng’s hand.

Sicheng shook his head, “ _I’ve never been allowed to._ ”

Kun paused for a moment, “ _if you want to try it, you can. It’s kind of bitter, though._ ”

Sicheng looked at the liquid in the glass. Golden and bubbly. He returned his eyes to Kun and shook his head.

“ _I’d rather not._ ”

Doyoung chimed in, “you’re not drinking that?”

Sicheng shook his head again.

“You don’t drink?” Jungwoo said, “you should have just told me.”

Doyoung quickly scanned the room before waving at someone. It was Jaehyun, who joined their little circle.

“Give it to Jaehyun, he’s got a high tolerance.”

Jaehyun looked a bit confused until Sicheng held the glass towards him. He took it without hesitation.

“You don’t drink? At all?”

“No,” Sicheng answered.

Jungwoo looked at him and smiled, “I don’t really think it’d fit you either way.”

Jaehyun furrowed his brows, “why wouldn’t it fit him?”

Jungwoo shrugged, barely taking his eyes of Sicheng, “he just doesn’t seem like the type.”

Jaehyun made a face and downed the champagne in one go. He put down the glass with a huff.

“What’s up with you?” Doyoung asked.

“Nothing.”

They kept talking casually, even if Jaehyun seemed a bit annoyed. Doyoung would comment on Jaehyun’s moodiness occasionally, getting a glare in return each time.

“Can I just leave Sicheng with you for a little while?” Jungwoo asked.

“Sure,” Kun said, “why?”

“Bathroom,” Jungwoo said letting go of Sicheng’s arm, “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as Jungwoo left Jaehyun was quick to take his place, linking arms with Sicheng. Doyoung eyed him knowingly, but kept his mouth shut.

Kun furrowed his brows, noticing someone familiar coming towards them, “Jaehyun? Isn’t that your-”

“Yoonoh!”

Jaehyun responded to the name immediately. A frown settled on his face and Sicheng felt the hold on his arm tighten.

A distraught woman came over, followed by a man with a stern yet emotional look on his face. The woman pulled Jaehyun into a hug that his didn’t reciprocate. He pulled away from her, keeping Sicheng on his arm.

“What do you want?” Jaehyun said spat.

“Oh, Yoonoh,” the woman cupped his cheek, “why do you treat us like this?”

Jaehyun scowled and pushed her hand away, “I told you to leave me alone.”

Sicheng couldn’t help the wide-eyed look on his face. Jaehyun sounded so upset. He was angry, but there was so much more there.

“Yoonoh,” the man spoke up, “don’t talk to you mother like that.”

“Mother?” Sicheng looked at Jaehyun in shock. Those people were his parents?

“Yes, I’m his mother,” the woman sneered, “Yoonoh, first criminals and now you’re messing around with whores too? Why won’t you just come home?”

Kun and Doyoung looked at Sicheng. The boy went pale. His eyes were wide and his lips parted in slight shock. It looked like his soul and consciousness had left his body. Though it barely lasted a second, it really looked like something horrible and harmful flashed behind his eyes. The facade was crumbling.

Jaehyun let go off Sicheng’s arm and stepped foreward, getting in his mother’s face.

“Don’t call him that. You know as little about him as you do about me,” Jaehyun said coldly, “you are without doubt one of the worst parts of my life-” Jaehyun looked to his father- “and you’re a close second.”

“Yoonoh! How can you say that?” His mother looked on the verge of tears, “we love you! We just want what’s best for you.”

Doyoung and Kun felt a scene arise. People were starting to look towards them. Kun spotted Jungwoo on his way back and grabbed Sicheng’s arm. He gave Doyoung a telling look and dragged Sicheng away.

Kun made it to Jungwoo and pushed Sicheng to him, “go back to the apartment. Now.”

Jungwoo confusedly linked arms with Sicheng, “what happened?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kun said, “just go to the car, I’ll send Lucas and Mark out as well.”

“What about Taeyong?” Jungwoo asked.

“I’ll tell him, just go.”

Jungwoo complied and left, pulling Sicheng with him.

Kun hurriedly walked towards Lucas and Mark, seeing Doyoung drag Jaehyun off to somewhere else on his way. They both knew breaking up the situation was crucial. Jaehyun didn’t have the right temper for seeing his parents in such a coded social situation.

Mark and Lucas had been stopped by a couple of women, obviously chatting up the younger men. Kun shamelessly interrupted the conversation. He pulled them aside, telling them both to go home and that Jungwoo was waiting by the car.

He grabbed Lucas’ arm, pulled up his sleeve and pulled out a pen from a pocket inside his jacket.

“This is the codes for the doors,” Kun wrote down two codes and handed Lucas a set of keys, “these are the keys for the second car.”

Lucas nodded, and he and Mark hurried off.

With a sigh Kun turned on his heel and went to find Taeyong. He knew the leader wouldn’t be happy with him making such rash decisions, but he wasn’t going to let Sicheng be talked to like that. The boy had looked close to a breakdown the second the word ‘whore’ was directed at him.

 

Sicheng was shaking. Jungwoo carefully pulled him into his arms, soothingly running his hands up and down Sicheng’s back. He could feel the other boy’s shallow breath in his ear. Jungwoo was scouting for Lucas and Mark when he felt Sicheng grab the sleeve of his jacket. He pulled a bit away to see tears streaming down the boy’s face. Jungwoo engulfed the boy in a hug, rubbing his back and petting his hair while keeping an eye out for Lucas and Mark. The side of his mouth twitched upwards.

They stood like that only for a bit before Lucas’ tall figure came into view followed by Mark. Jungwoo waved at them to hurry and they both jogged over. Lucas unlocked the car and Jungwoo quickly got Sicheng inside. He got in beside him, Lucas took the driver’s seat and Mark the passenger seat. Jungwoo took Sicheng’s hand, giving a light squeeze as Lucas pulled out of the parking lot.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i just wanna thank everyone who reads this story, seriously! it's sooo nice to get messages that someone left kudos or left a comment ;u; i hope you guys know that i really appreciate it aljkasdfjljs thank you!  
> that being said, ao3 really confuses me still (lmao rip) so if any of you actually want to talk to me or ask me something you can go to my twitter @klassiskmakker ok enjoy this chapter!

Kun patted Johnny’s arm, noting that Taeyong was in deep conversation with a few men that Taeyeon and Sunny had probably introduced. Johnny excused himself, noticing Kun’s look of impatience. He and Kun walked away from the group and Kun hurriedly explained what had happened.

Johnny furrowed his brows, “it’s good that you took charge, we couldn’t keep Sicheng around if he was to break down. Where’s Jaehyun?”

“I don’t know. Doyoung dragged him off,” Kun shrugged, “you don’t think Taeyong will be too angry, right? I’d expect that I’m still on thin ice after arguing with him.”

Johnny shook his head, “I think he’ll agree it was the right thing to do.”

Kun nodded. He wasn’t reassured yet, and he had a feeling that Johnny wasn’t completely sure of his own words either.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Kun said with a sigh, “I’ll see if I can find Jaehyun and Doyoung.”

“Right,” Johnny patted Kun’s shoulder, “I’ll let Taeyong know what’s happened. I have your back, I’ll defend you if it’s necessary.”

“Thank you,” Kun smiled and hurried off.

In honesty, he was afraid of Taeyong’s reaction to his rash decisions, to him taking charge of the situation and not talking to the leader first. It was kind of terrifying to go against Taeyong or do something without his consent, but it wasn’t just that.

It was Jungwoo.

He really wasn’t sure about him. It was hard to just hand an emotionally unstable Sicheng off to someone like Jungwoo. He had definite sociopathic traits, not that Kun could diagnose him effectively. He didn’t have the knowledge to do that, but he could have his suspicions. He really hoped that letting Jungwoo take care of Sicheng wouldn’t turn out to be a bad idea.

Kun left the main room and entered a long hallway. The decorations matched those of the main room. Down the hall he spotted Doyoung and Jaehyun on one of the few couches that stood in the hall. He hurried towards the men and they looked up, noticing his presence. Jaehyun still looked pissed, but not so close to losing control as he had been. Doyoung had a hand on his back, obviously trying to soothe the younger man.

Kun took a seat on the other side of Jaehyun, “hey, you’re doing okay?”

Jaehyun shrugged, “I guess.”

“It was nice of you to stand up for Sicheng.”

Jaehyun didn’t answer. He slumped back and sighed, “I’m just so fucking tired of them. They don’t understand anything..!”

Kun nodded, “you’re angry and rightfully so.”

“They never gave a fuck about me before, but now? Suddenly they care about my well-being?” Jaehyun laughed sarcastically, “it’s such a fucking joke.”

“I mean, your well-being is in constant danger,” Doyoung said, “is it really that weird that they’re worried?”

“I’ve never been happier in my life. The only thing causing me genuine unhappiness is them!” Jaehyun argued, “if they care about my well-being, then they should stay out of my life.”

“They want to do what’s best for you, you know that,” Doyoung said, “even if they don’t understand your feelings.”

Jaehyun scoffed, “they just say that. If they really wanted what was best for me, they’d listen to me! They had their chance to act as good parents and they fucked up. I don’t want their pathetic attempts at trying to make up for it now.”

“You definitely don’t owe them your time,” Kun agreed, “they shouldn’t act like you need to do anything for them when they’ve barely done anything for you.”

“Exactly! They haven’t done a goddamn thing for me,” Jaehyun complained.

“That’s not true,” Doyoung rolled his eyes, “they’ve made a lot of mistakes, sure, but they did what they thought was right. The intention was there.”

“You don’t get it,” Jaehyun spat, “I don’t want their intention. They’ve been shit parents my whole life. _You_ wouldn’t understand that.”

Kun looked at Doyoung. The man frowned. He stood up.

“You’re right,” Doyoung said, “I don’t understand. Thanks for reminding me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that-”

“I don’t care.”

Doyoung walked off.

Jaehyun groaned and covered his face. He swore under his breath.

Kun patted his knee, “he’ll be fine.”

Jaehyun ignored Kun’s words, “I’m such a piece of shit, why did I say that?”

“You were angry, it slipped out,” Kun said, “you know you two will never really be on the same wavelengths when it comes to family.”

“Still,” Jaehyun sighed in frustration, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t have. But you did,” Kun said, “and you’ll be fine. You two always make up. It’s not like Doyoung wasn’t being unreasonable either. He knows about your parents.”

“You know how he thinks, though,” Jaehyun said.

“So? Agree to disagree,” Kun shrugged, “you’re both stubborn. You’ll never fully agree with each other on this. Your experiences are both valid, but they oppose each other.”

“I guess, but it sucks,” Jaehyun spoke, voice more gentle now, “I just wish he’d try to see it from my point of view.”

Kun sighed, “I’m sure he feels the same.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Lucas, how long until we reach the apartment?” Jungwoo questioned after a very quiet car ride.

“Fifteen minutes or so, why?” Lucas said as he pulled up to a red light, turning on the right blinker.

“Drive somewhere else.”

“What?” Lucas and Mark spoke in unison.

“Drive somewhere else,” Jungwoo repeated, “we’re being followed.”

“What?!”

The light turned green and Lucas floored it, driving out in front of the other cars as he turned left. Multiple cars honked as they continued down a road leading away from _Club Culture_. Jungwoo looked back and watched the car that had been behind them disappear. The traffic wasn’t that bad, so the car would be able to catch up with them again.

“Are you sure about this, Jungwoo?” Mark asked.

“Absolutely, this car has been behind us since we left the event.”

“That’s like thirty minutes ago!”

“I know, but I wanted to be sure!” Jungwoo said.

“You could have said something before, though,” Mark said.

“Shit, does it matter?” Lucas asked, checking the rearview mirror, “one of you need to call Taeyong or Johnny.”

Mark pulled out his phone, “I’ve got it.”

He looked back, keeping an eye out as well as he held the phone to his ear. A car turned unto the road behind them and Jungwoo pointed it out.

“That’s the one.”

Mark squinted, “shit, that’s an expensive car.”

Jungwoo nodded, “that’s why I’m suspicious.”

“Taeyong!” Mark’s attention was grabbed when the leader picked up, “we- yes, it’s important. We’re- no it’s not regarding him- Taeyong!”

Jungwoo widened his eyes a bit at Mark’s tone. He’d never really heard Mark sneer, so hearing it towards Taeyong was a bit shocking.

“We’re being followed, Taeyong!” Mark said, “a black sportscar, uh, Jungwoo can you see the license plate?”

Jungwoo turned and read out the plate number, which Mark quickly repeated to Taeyong. Mark kept talking with the leader, while Lucas drove around blindly, trying to weave between cars to get rid of their pursuer. Their car wasn’t small, but it was smaller than the one following them, giving them more opportunities to move around on the road.

“No,” Mark said, looking back again, “Jungwoo do you recognize the driver or something?”

Jungwoo shook his head. As Mark continued talking, he confirmed that the car was not one from an SM group. Taeyong had checked the plates.

Sicheng’s curiosity got the better of him and he looked back. His eyes widened and he tapped Jungwoo’s arm.

“Yes?” Jungwoo turned his attention to Sicheng.

“Bobby,” Sicheng said quietly.

Jungwoo furrowed his brows, “what?”

“His name is Bobby,” Sicheng said, motioning to the car.

Jungwoo looked back, “the driver?”

Sicheng nodded.

Jungwoo turned to Mark, “you got that? His name is Bobby!”

Mark nodded quickly, “Bobby. Sicheng says one of the guys in the car is named Bobby.”

The car went quiet as Taeyong answered. Though his words were too muffled to make out, they could all hear that Taeyong sounded upset. Mark was listening intensely and the look on his face wasn’t promising.

“Yeah, okay,” Mark turned on the GPS, typing in an address on Taeyong’s orders.

Lucas started following the directions without question. Mark exchanged a few more words with Taeyong before hanging up.

“What’s up then?” Lucas asked.

“They’re from iKON,” Mark said, “the address Taeyong gave me will take us to SUJU’s territory. He’s calling them as we speak, so they know we’re coming.”

Jungwoo turned to Sicheng, “how do you know the name of an iKON member?”

“Uh, I met him,” Sicheng explained, “with Taeyong.”

“They’re dangerous, yeah?” Lucas spoke up, “should I try to shake them off?”

Mark shrugged, “Taeyong said they probably won’t follow us into SM territory, we shouldn’t encourage them to follow us.”

“If you try to shake them off they might take it as a challenge,” Jungwoo said.

“Alright,” Lucas said, “keep an eye on them, though. I’m ready to try if it becomes necessary.”

As they drove on, Jungwoo kept an eye on the car behind them, while Lucas concentrated on getting them to where they needed to be. They had entered territory that was solely owned by SM groups and Jungwoo became a bit uneasy. Following them here was dangerous for an outside gang. They really had no business there, the closest border to a YG group was almost an hour away.

“They’re still behind us.”

“I know,” Lucas said, “we’re at the address Taeyong gave in ten minutes, why aren’t they leaving?”

“They shouldn’t even be following us in the first place,” Mark said, “targeting us in SM owned territory is mental. They’d be taken out if they tried anything.”

“They’re from YG,” Jungwoo said, “they _are_  mental.”

It wasn’t long until they pulled into the parking lot bound to multiple buildings. They parked by a store with a white facade. It looked inspired by Greek architecture with columns and an entablature. Along the frieze was written _Ever Lasting Fashion_ , telling any passerby that this building wasn’t home to some simple clothing store. This was a _boutique_. Sicheng could see suits on display in the windows.

Lucas turned off the car and they all watched as the black sportscar pulled in as well. They parked by a different store. No one got out.

“I don’t trust this,” Mark said, “why aren’t they getting out?”

Jungwoo looked towards the boutique, “I wouldn’t risk trying to make it inside. We don’t know what kind of weapons they have with them.”

“Should I call Taeyong again?”

“I think that- shit!” Lucas was interrupted by Mark hitting his shoulder and pointing to the other car. Four men stepped out. They walked towards them with confidence in their step.

“Sicheng,” Jungwoo said, grabbing the door handle, “stay in the car.”

Sicheng felt dread wrap around him like a blanket as Jungwoo, Lucas and Mark got out of the car. They walked around to the front of the car, letting the four other men approach them.

Jungwoo took a stand in front of Mark and Lucas, watching their rivals as they got closer. They stopped a few steps away. The tallest of them, Bobby, looked Jungwoo’s height. He wore a white dress shirt, but it wasn’t buttoned up all the way, not even the sleeves had been buttoned. His hair was dyed purple and he wore a lot of accessories; bracelets, earrings and a necklace, all black and silver.

Two of the men easily fell behind Bobby and the man that seemed to be their leader. One of the two had black ripped jeans and a loose white shirt. He too had dyed hair, green, and wore multiple rings and had a silver chain dangling from his ear. He was on the shorter side, but Jungwoo knew better than to judge him on that. Ten was short too and he was in NCT for a reason.

The other man was a bit shorter than Bobby and the same height as the one taking the lead. He had dark hair and wore all black. The leader was dressed similarly to Bobby, and had black hair dyed red near the roots.

They weren’t afraid to stand out it seemed. Jungwoo hadn’t seen them at the event, no way they’d show up dressed like that, but their clothing would draw attention on the street. Despite dyed hair, no one in NCT seemed to dress to impress if they were just going about their day. There was no reason to ask for more attention. These guys clearly thought differently.

“Why were you following us?” Jungwoo asked.

The leader tilted his head, “are you always so rude? You won’t even present yourself?”

“Why would I?”

The man clicked his tongue, “you’re secretive, huh? Maybe I should cut out your tongue to help you with that?”

Jungwoo frowned, “just answer my question, will you?”

The man smiled mischievously, “we just wanted to meet the newbies NCT picked up. We’ll probably run into each other often, might as well get to know one another, yeah?”

“I’m sure that’s not a priority to your group,” Lucas spoke, “don’t lie to us. That’s not why you followed us.”

“He’s smarter than he looks,” the shortest man spoke with a smirk.

Lucas scoffed.

“Just tell us what you want,” Mark narrowed his eyes.

The leader shared a look with Bobby, “something caught our interest-” he turned back to Jungwoo, Lucas and Mark- “regarding NCT’s new roster. We really do want to know about you, but there’s someone else we’re more interested in.”

“I don’t think the members of NCT is any of your business.”

“Oh,” Bobby chimed in, “don’t worry, we’re not talking about a member. Taeyong made sure to tell me this guy is _just_  a business partner.”

Jungwoo tensed up, but tried not to show it, “is that so?”

Bobby grinned, “it is. His name is Winwin, right? We’d like to get to know him. It could be good for us to have shared partners.”

“Since he’s a business partner, I’m sure he won’t mind meeting with us?” The leader spoke, “more business is good, so I’m sure he wouldn’t complain if he got more costumers to please.”

He motioned to the car and Jungwoo felt his blood boil. These guys were threatening Sicheng. His hands itched for the knife inside his jacket.

“Excuse me?” The men were interrupted by a soft voice.

They all turned to see three man approaching. Lucas recognized Heechul and Yesung, but the third man, the one who had spoken, he hadn’t seen before. Jungwoo didn’t miss the way that the iKON members became more alert. They knew they were outnumbered, so they were ready to give up the fight now, despite their earlier confidence.

“B.I., I think you and your friends should leave,” Heechul said, raising an eyebrow, daring the leader to challenge him.

“We’ve got places to be, either way,” the leader, B.I., said.

He walked back to the car, followed by his members. He sent Jungwoo a look before getting into the car. The car started and they pulled out of the parking lot. Jungwoo kept the frown on his lips as he turned to the men he assumed to be part of SUJU.

“Taeyong called us,” Heechul walked over and patted Lucas’ shoulder, “you alright?”

“We’re fine,” Lucas replied watching the car disappear, “are they always so provocative?”

Heechul chuckled, “iKON? Definitely, they’re from YG. They got it from their mentors.”

Heechul shared a knowing look with his members. They’d experienced something similar evidently.

Mark looked back at the car, seeing Sicheng looking worriedly out at them, “are they likely to follow up on threats?”

Jungwoo followed Mark’s gaze and met Sicheng’s eyes. Jungwoo smiled reassuringly and the look Sicheng’s face seemed to soften slightly.

The man with the soft voice shrugged, “it depends. They’re as likely to be bluffing as they are to be serious. You’d have to know them.”

Mark nodded, “alright, I suppose we don’t have to be too worried?”

Heechul shared a look with the other two men, “I think you’d need to talk to Taeyong about that. We aren’t too familiar with iKON or any of the younger YG groups for that matter.”

“We’ll talk to Taeyong then,” Mark said.

“Oh, I just realized,” Heechul said, “we never introduced ourselves! How rude.”

Yesung and Heechul introduced themselves to Mark and Jungwoo. The last man, the one Lucas hadn’t met, introduced himself as Sungmin. They exchanged a few pleasantries as well.

“I think you can return to NCTs main quarters now,” Sungmin spoke, “those iKON guys shouldn’t cause anymore problems. We’ll call Taeyong for you, so he doesn’t worry.”

“Thank you,” Jungwoo smiled, “and thank you for helping us out.”

“It’s no big deal,” Yesung replied, “you’re part of a big family now. You can trust us to help you out.”

Jungwoo, Lucas and Mark thanked the SUJU members again before bidding them goodbye. They went back to the car, and the three men watched them as they drove off. Heechul waved and Lucas waved back, sticking his hand out of the window. Heechul grinned at the enthusiasm.

Jungwoo gently took Sicheng’s hand, “are you okay?”

Sicheng nodded, “I’m fine.”

Jungwoo smiled. Sicheng wasn’t fine. Jungwoo didn’t really understand why Sicheng was so interesting to him. Well, he sort of did actually. It was the innocence and the surprisingly strong will that Sicheng probably didn’t realize he had. It was intriguing, but Jungwoo still didn’t quite know why these things drew him in.

He did know one thing for sure, though. Jaehyun’s parents had gotten Sicheng all shook up and those guys, the iKON members, they’d scared him. Seeing the worry and fear in Sicheng’s eyes was exciting, but Jungwoo didn’t want anyone else to be the cause of it.

God, he might end up getting himself killed if Taeyong, or anyone else for that matter, found out what thoughts Sicheng planted in his brain.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while, huh? i'm sorry for not updating, i've just had a lot of personal shit to deal with and it's just been so much...! this chapter might seem a little rushed and there might be a few more typos, but i really wanted to update!  
> also heads up, next update will probably be a while as well, since exams and christmas and more exams are coming up for me!  
> enjoy this chapter!

Lucas typed in the code for the door, successfully unlocking it. Sicheng let Jungwoo lead him inside. Jungwoo’s arm was wrapped gently around his waist. It felt like Jungwoo was afraid of him collapsing. Sicheng couldn’t blame him. He’d been on the verge of a breakdown since they left the charity event.

When they got inside, Jungwoo led Sicheng to the couch. He sat him down and gave a smile. He ran his fingers through Sicheng’s hair.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Sicheng nodded, tired from _everything_. Walking around acting like he was someone else took a lot out of him, but worrying and being afraid had left him drained. From the second Jaehyun’s mother had called him _that_ , his mind had gone crazy. He wasn’t tired physically, his muscles didn’t ache. He was tired mentally, which somehow felt worse. He’d rather dance until he collapsed if it meant he could just stop _feeling so much_.

“Just sit down and rest for a bit, okay?” Jungwoo said, “maybe take a shower to relax later?”

Sicheng nodded again, “I will.”

Jungwoo smiled at him again. Sicheng forced a smile before he let his heavy eyelids fall shut. He was gone in a second. Jungwoo admired him for a bit. The makeup really brought out his features. It did take away part of the innocence he carried, but it brought out the shape of his face and his eyes so well, despite getting messed up by his tears. He looked incredibly-

“Pretty.”

“Huh?” Jungwoo turned to see Lucas behind him.

Lucas smiled, “he’s pretty, right? That’s why you keep looking at him.”

Jungwoo looked at Sicheng again, “yeah. He’s pretty.”

“Hey guys,” Mark interrupted, gaining the attention of both men, “Taeyong just texted me. He says they’ll be back quite late, so we can just go get takeout. He also sent me the room arrangements.”

“We’ve gotten rooms? Already?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah,” Mark smiled, “we did it, guys.”

Lucas grinned and pulled Mark and Jungwoo into a hug. Mark made a high-pitched sound and hugged back. Jungwoo let out a soft laugh, joining in as well.

Somehow their little celebration didn’t wake up Sicheng. He was completely passed out, probably far too exhausted to stir because of the cheering.

When the three young men pulled away from each other they were still smiling. Excited by the fact that they’d officially joined this group. They were apart of something bigger now.

“Let’s get something really good to eat,” Lucas said, “to celebrate!”

Jungwoo laughed, “sounds good, maybe we can make our own little buffet.”

“Yes! Honestly, let’s do that,” Lucas beamed.

Mark agreed, excited by the prospect of a large amount of good food.

“Why don’t you two go get the food?” Jungwoo said, “I’ll stay behind and look out for Sicheng.”

Mark and Lucas agreed, and soon they were out the door again. They’d promised to return with great food. Jungwoo didn’t doubt that. They all enjoyed food, sure, but Lucas was something else. He’d surely go all out for this celebration of theirs.

Jungwoo went back to Sicheng when they’d left. He sat down beside the boy. He turned on the television, keeping it on a low volume. He gently pulled Sicheng’s body towards him, letting the boy rest against him rather than with his head leaned back against the couch. His neck would surely ache when he woke up if he slept like that. Jungwoo touched his hair again, petting him. He really liked touching Sicheng, even if it was just like this. He wanted to do _more_ , but he couldn’t.

Sicheng stirred a bit, turning his body towards Jungwoo. His hand gently landed on Jungwoo’s arm. Jungwoo looked down at him. It was incredible that Sicheng was the older one. How did that make sense? He was Jaehyun’s age, really? Jaehyun seemed years older than Sicheng. Jungwoo knew something had happened to Sicheng, something Taeyong would tell them eventually. Obviously Jaehyun had to have experienced some shit to end up in a gang with too many years on his back, but something had to have happened to Sicheng to make him like this.

Jungwoo sighed. He studied Sicheng’s smudged eye makeup. How did he manage to somehow still look so pretty? Jungwoo knew that their looks were similar in the innocent aspect, but Sicheng had features that bordered on feminine. Yet still, when his hair was styled away from his face and he carried himself like he had at the event, he actually looked his age. Like a young adult, a handsome young man. His features weren’t inherently feminine on their own, it was Sicheng’s way of acting that made them come of that way. He was unsure if it was intentional or not, whether he deliberately acted in a traditionally more feminine and borderline childish way. Jungwoo didn’t mind it, really, but he figured that some fucked up part of him had a preference towards the cowering and naive Sicheng.

Jungwoo smiled, almost sadly. If only he could look at Sicheng like everyone else did. Sometimes it felt like his thoughts could take over him at any moment. He really was a fucked up person.

 

* * *

 

 

_Sicheng sniffled as Jiaolong pulled him along from the car into a hairdresser. A young girl stood behind the counter and a look of fear formed on her face when she saw Jiaolong._

_“I need Qiaohui. Now.”_

_“R-right away, sir!” The girl bowed deeply and hurried to the back of the store, behind a red door with a long matted glass window in the middle._

_The air in the store was heavy with fear, worry. The workers kept doing their job, cutting and styling the hair of their costumers, but everyone was tense._

_Soon the girl returned with a woman in tow. She was still young, but her face carried old wisdom. She didn’t cower as she stood in front of Jiaolong. She looked at Sicheng, only for a few seconds before her eyes once again fell on the man that had everyone else terrified._

_Jiaolong handed her the framed picture that he’d taken with him before they’d left._

_“I brought it to be sure you could remember the style.”_

_“Don’t talk down to me, Jiaolong,” the woman spoke coldly, “I could never forget. Tell me, why are you bringing this child to me?”_

_“You weren’t blind nor stupid last I checked, Qiaohui.”_

_The woman scoffed, “you can’t be serious? How old are you, my child?”_

_Her last question was directed at Sicheng, who turned his head down, looking at his shoes as he answered quietly, “twelve, miss.”_

_“Twelve!” Qiaohui looked up at Jiaolong, “you are shameful! Shameful, I say!”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jiaolong’s frown deepened, “your judgement is unwarranted.”_

_Qiaohui took a step forward and slapped Jiaolong’s hand away from Sicheng’s arm. She grabbed the boy’s hand gently and led him to the back. Jiaolong followed, looking more angry with each passing second._

_“Here, have a seat,” Qiaohui said with a smile, “what’s your name?”_

_“Sicheng,” the boy said quietly, taking a seat in front of the mirror. The back was like a smaller salon, with just one chair._

_Qiaohui brushed her hands through his hair. It had gotten long. It fell into his face and covered the top of his ears. His mother usually cut his hair, though she let it grow out in the winter to give more warmth. She hadn’t gotten around to giving him a spring cut yet._

_Jiaolong kept an eye on them, watching them through the mirror. Sicheng tried not to meet his eyes._

_Qiaohui looked at the photograph. She traced it with a finger. A sad look was in her eyes. She’d experienced many sorrows, it radiated off her. That’s why she looked so aged, despite her fresh and youthful face. She put down the photo on the table in front of Sicheng and he finally saw the image. It was Jianjun with a woman. A young beautiful woman, who smiled kindly at the camera. Alluring dark eyes, distinct brows, full lips and a long nose seemed to fit together perfectly in her face. A diamond shape, with her small chin and defined cheekbones. She wasn’t scared of the man that stood beside her, the man who had terrified Sicheng. She looked happy. In front of them stood a girl, a young girl. She was wasn’t older than ten, but one could already tell she’d be at least as beautiful as her mother. She looked strikingly like the woman despite her chubby young face. She’d grow out of that for sure. She didn’t look a bit like Jianjun, who Sicheng assumed was her father. Where were they? The picture definitely wasn’t new, Jianjun was older than in the photo._

_“So, I’m assuming you want him with a pixie cut?” Qiaohui asked, meeting Jiaolong’s eyes in the mirror. There was something judgemental in her voice. She sounded disgusted._

_Jiaolong narrowed his eyes at her, “yes. Don’t talk like that. Jianjun wants nothing like that out of him.”_

_Qiaohui pulled out a comb and started running it through Sicheng’s dark hair, “he better not. If I see any marks on this boy, I won’t hesitate to shank you with my scissors.”_

_Jiaolong pulled out a gun, unabashedly, pointing at the back of Qiaohui’s head. She didn’t even flinch. She cut off the first lock of hair and met Jiaolong’s eyes once again._

_“Don’t threaten me with something I know you won’t go through with, Jiaolong,” she spoke coldly._

_Jiaolong made a sneering sound but put away his gun, “you’re lucky you’re protected by Jianjun.”_

_“You are a fool for following someone so blindly, Jiaolong,” Qiaohui said, “taking orders will be your death.”_

_Jiaolong didn’t answer. He glared at Qiaohui as she continued cutting Sicheng’s hair._

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng’s eyes fluttered open, Jungwoo was shaking him gently. He sat up, confused. He must have fallen asleep.

“Sorry,” Sicheng muttered.

Jungwoo smiled, sweet as ever, “don’t apologize, I don’t mind. Lucas and Mark will be back with food soon, I figured you’d want some?”

Sicheng nodded.

Jungwoo stretched and stood up, “I think we should change? No need to be dressed all fancy to eat takeout, yeah?”

He held out a hand and Sicheng took it, letting Jungwoo pull him to his feet, “right.”

“I think we should remove those makeup stains, too.”

Jungwoo cupped Sicheng’s cheek, rubbing his thumb gently along the skin under his eye. Oh. Right. He had cried. Sicheng looked down, but didn’t move away from Jungwoo’s gentle touch. He felt the hand run down his cheek, to his neck where it lingered momentarily, before Jungwoo finally reached for his hand. He pulled Sicheng upstairs.

“Sit,” Jungwoo gestured to the toilet and Sicheng sat down while Jungwoo rummaged through the cabinets. A satisfied ‘ _aha!_ ’ came from him and he turned to Sicheng with a box of makeup wipes.

“Close your eyes,” Jungwoo said and Sicheng did just that. He felt the cold, dampness of the wipe gently rub the makeup off. It felt oddly refreshing. The coldness was nice against his flushed skin.

When Jungwoo finished, he sent Sicheng off to get changed while he did the same.

Sicheng changed into a long-sleeved black shirt and a pair of loose gray pants. It was a relief to be out of the fancy clothing. It was pretty, but Sicheng doubted he could ever wear it again without thinking of Jaehyun’s mother. A whore. Was that really what he came off as? His clothing, it wasn’t provocative, was it? Maybe it was the makeup. Too feminine to be carried by a man without sending the wrong signals. He supposed the clothing didn’t help. He wasn’t wearing a dress, but the clothing too wasn’t exactly what the other men at the event had worn.

“Sicheng?” He turned to see Jungwoo in the doorway, “what’s wrong? You look upset.”

“I’m fine,” Sicheng said quickly.

Jungwoo frowned, “you’re not. Don’t lie to me.”

“It’s really nothing.”

“Just tell me what it is,” Jungwoo’s voice was still gentle, but there was a more demanding tone hiding in it. He furrowed his brows in slight frustration.

“It’s stupid, Jungwoo,” Sicheng looked down, “you don’t have to worry about me.”

Jungwoo felt his hand twitch, “Sicheng. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Sicheng looked up again. Something in Jungwoo’s voice had changed. The demanding tone was now dominant. His gentleness was gone from both his voice and his face. He looked irritated. He grabbed the panel of the doorway suddenly, a harsh movement that made Sicheng flinch.

“Do I seem like a whore?” Sicheng blurted out. He wanted to ask, and he was afraid of not answering Jungwoo.

“What?” Frustration melted away from Jungwoo’s face and voice, he sounded confused, “why do you ask that?”

Sicheng felt tears coming back, “Jaehyun’s mom, she said that- is it the clothes I wore?”

Jungwoo blinked, “why would your clothes make you a whore?”

To say that Jungwoo was baffled would be an understatement. Jaehyun’s mother was there? Why would she call Sicheng a whore? That must have been why he was crying.

Sicheng shrugged, “isn’t it... girly?”

Jungwoo sighed overbearingly and walked over to Sicheng. He pulled the boy into a hug. Sicheng accepted the warmth of Jungwoo’s embrace even if he’d scared him with his sudden change in mood only minutes earlier.

“Sicheng there’s nothing wrong with what you wore, okay? It’s not girly. It’s just clothing. You could wear a gown and it would still be okay. Jaehyun’s mother is the one in the wrong. She has not right to look down on you,” Jungwoo pulled away to meet Sicheng’s eyes, “you shouldn’t worry about these things. It’s okay to talk about.”

Sicheng just nodded. Jungwoo had a feeling that Sicheng hadn’t taken his words to heart, but he didn’t get to say anymore as Lucas loudly announced his and Mark’s return downstairs.

Jungwoo grabbed Sicheng’s hand and they walked down to meet them.

 

* * *

 

“Get the fuck out of here!”

The group of men jumped, turning towards the threatening voice. Their fearful demeanor faded when they saw the boy who’d yelled at them. A teenager, probably not even 18 yet. He frowned at them as they turned back to their circle, ignoring his order.

“Didn’t you hear me?”

One of the men snickered. The pronunciation was a bit off, his accent was still clear, though he said his words with confidence. One man stood up. He was dressed in dirty clothing and a long brown coat. It had survived many years in tough conditions that much was obvious. The man smiled smugly. Chenle wanted to punch him in the face. He was similar to someone else, someone who made the anger burn like a fire inside Chenle.

“What’s that, kid?” His voice was hoarse, damaged from years of abusing his body, “you want us to leave? Why don’t you come and make us?”

Chenle frowned. The man in front of him dared to talk like that? As if he had the upper hand? He was smug about it, too! There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in his movements when he pulled out a knife, recently sharpened, blade long enough to deal fatal wounds. It hadn’t yet, but Chenle had dreams of a smug face on a greedy man, big and scary. However, Chenle didn’t want to be scared anymore. And he certainly wasn’t about to cower in front of the dirty man in front of him.

The man threw up his hands in fake worry, “wow, kid, be careful with that, you might hurt yourself.”

The other men laughed. They laughed at him! Chenle was already upset with them ignoring him, but he felt the fire of anger grow rapidly inside him. The man kept the cocky smile on his face, he was so sure of himself. That was fine. It made it easier to catch him off-guard. Chenle charged at him, determination filling his body. The man didn’t even move, shocked by the sudden action and shocked even more by the feeling of the knife sinking into his abdomen. A choked sound came from him and Chenle drove the knife in further. The man was in pain, Chenle could tell from the small whimpers he let out. The other men scrambled to their feet, hurrying away from the parking lot and away from the crazy teenager.

Chenle pulled out the knife and the man fell to his knees. He stared up at Chenle with wide confused eyes. Like he was asking why he did it. As if he didn’t already know. They shouldn’t have made fun of him, but...

Chenle swallowed. It was hard. Like something was stuck in his throat. The knife felt suddenly heavy in his hand. He let it fall like it had burned him. He’d done it. He’d killed someone.

“ _Was that really necessary?_ ”

Chenle turned around. Renjun stared at him, arms hanging down by his side. He didn’t look angry, he looked concerned. Not for the man, though, no. He looked at Chenle with the concern of a mother.

Chenle heard the man’s body hit the concrete as he fell over. He turned to see the man’s face, right cheek now lying against the dirty ground. His eyes were empty. Staring into nothingness. It was scary. He’d seen it before, but being the reason for it was different. A chill ran down his spine.

“ _I didn’t mean to..._ ”

Renjun sighed, “ _we’ll have to move his body, I don’t want to pack up and leave this place yet. We’ve only been here for a few days._ ”

“ _Sorry,_ ” Chenle spoke, he didn’t mean to be a bother, “ _I’ll take care of it._ ”

Renjun rolled his eyes, “ _I’ll help you, dummy, I’m not angry._ ”

“ _It’s just- they laughed at me!_ ” Chenle exclaimed, feeling the need to justify, “ _I didn’t even think about it- I was just going to tell them to leave. I swear._ ”

“ _I know,_ ” Renjun smiled sadly. They’d always help each other. They were a family. They watched out for each other.

Chenle was still frowning apologetically when Renjun walked over to help him. They needed to dump the body somewhere else. Somewhere that wouldn’t compromise their current ‘ _home_ ’. It didn’t matter that people found the body, he was a nobody to society, a useless addict. They wouldn’t make a big deal about finding his killer. It was sad, really, that no one would care about him, but it was nonetheless good for them. One less thing to worry about.

“ _I was waiting on this you know_ ,” Renjun spoke as they struggled getting the man’s body into a plastic bag.

“ _What do you mean?_ ” Chenle asked. He looked genuinely surprised.

“ _With all your anger, I mean,_ ” Renjun shrugged, “ _it was only a matter of time before someone actually lost a life_.”

Chenle swallowed. It burned in his throat.

“ _You knew I capable of this? I didn’t think I could do it..._ ”

Renjun paused, “ _how did it feel?_ ”

Chenle looked up to meet Renjun’s eyes. He looked curious and... hopeful? Chenle shrugged.

“ _He wasn’t the one I really wanted to-_ ” Chenle looked away- “ _kill._ ”

“ _Do you think it would feel good? To kill_ him _?_ ”

Chenle laughed dryly, “ _I don’t think anything would make me happier_.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Cheers!” Lucas exclaimed, his loud voice making Sicheng jump in his seat, “ah! Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Lucas laughed sheepishly. Sicheng was confused. Jungwoo and Mark seemed right for NCT, for this _job_ , but Lucas seemed endlessly hyper. He was excited and loud and childish. Perhaps Sicheng wasn’t one to throw stones, but Lucas seemed so out of place.

Mark and Jungwoo enthusiastically clinked their drinks with Lucas’ and they all drank. They’d told Sicheng why they were celebrating and while he didn’t want to judge, he couldn’t understand why they would celebrate getting themselves involved so deeply with crime. Why would they be so happy about living this life?

Sicheng didn’t speak much, he just ate silently as the three boys chatted excitedly while they enjoyed their food.

Jungwoo was weird. Sicheng had come to that conclusion. Jungwoo was weird, but Sicheng didn’t dislike him. He seemed to have mood swings similar to Jaehyun’s, easily annoyed but more patient. He came off as such a nice person. That was the real weird thing. He was so comfortable to be around. He gave off such friendly and harmless vibes. To the extent that it made Sicheng worry. He wasn’t nice like Kun, who shared his first language and promised to help him with anything. He wasn’t nice like Yuta, who’s outgoing personality was almost too much, but came from a good place. He wasn’t nice like anyone in NCT. It was uncanny. It felt almost fake.

Sicheng went to bed soon after they’d finished eating. He was tired, exhausted, despite his nap. The three new members bid him goodnight and he went upstairs. He quickly got ready for bed and buried himself under his duvet. He had been afraid that his thoughts would keep him awake as they often did, but his consciousness fell into darkness only a few seconds after his head touched his pillow.

 

Blinking tiredly, Sicheng stared into the dark room. What had woken him up? He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked towards the window. No light was seeping in from under the curtain. It was still dark out, night. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he could see the two beds across his were occupied. The rest of the members had returned. Someone in the bed moved. Hansol. He’d rolled unto his side. Despite the distance and the dark, Sicheng could still make out Hansol’s features. Usually he looked so cold, but in that moment he looked like any other young man. He looked normal. Sicheng couldn’t help but wonder if any of these men ever wished for a normal life. Did they come from bad situations? Perhaps a life of crime was better than what they’d been dealt in life initially.

Sicheng crawled back under his duvet with a sigh. Getting comfortable, he hoped to fall back asleep fast. It took longer this time, but he managed to chase away the worst of his thoughts. He managed to sleep soundly through the rest of the night.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally finished my exams omg now i just have to wait and hope that i passed lmao ;-;  
> i'm so excited to be writing this again, seriously! thank you so much for waiting! 
> 
> also uuuhhhhhh wayv??? bunch of cuties

Jungwoo smiled down at Sicheng. The boy looked up at him, tired and confused. He was probably worried too, somewhere in his eyes Jungwoo could see a twinkle of fear. It never really left, but he wanted to see it grow. He wanted Sicheng to be _terrified_.

He crawled into Sicheng’s bed, getting on top of him. Jungwoo’s knees rested against Sicheng’s hips. He sat back and watched Sicheng’s eyes widen. So innocent. The position made a blush crawl up to his cheeks. He opened his mouth, to speak, to protest, but Jungwoo placed a finger against his lips and shook his head. Sicheng’s lips fell shut. Soft. They were soft. Jungwoo kept his smile as he moved his hand to cup Sicheng’s cheek.

“You’re so pretty.”

“T-thank you...” Sicheng’s voice was low, close to a whisper. He looked more worried now. Worried, fearful because of his confusion. He didn’t know what was going on, what would happen. Jungwoo’s smile widened.

“Such a pretty and innocent boy,” Jungwoo continued, moving his hand down and trailing Sicheng’s jaw. His skin was soft too, warm under his fingers. The blush spread across his face, even crawling down to his chest. So little. Jungwoo had done so little and Sicheng was so affected. His senses were probably going crazy. He stared up at Jungwoo. His eyes shining with a mix of disbelief and concern.

“Jungwoo...?” Sicheng said his name so softly. Soft like his skin. The tone was begging. Begging for Jungwoo to stop, to explain.

Sicheng didn’t move. His arms laid still on the bed. He and Jungwoo kept their eye contact and Jungwoo watched in amusement as the anxiety in Sicheng’s eyes grew.

Jungwoo touched his neck. He felt Sicheng swallow. He was scared now. Fear clear in his dark eyes. He let his thumb rub soothingly over Sicheng’s neck.

“Are you afraid of me?”

Sicheng nodded, “yes.”

A small fearful whisper. How exciting! Jungwoo couldn’t stop smiling. Sicheng looked like he was going to cry. How Jungwoo hoped he would. He tightened his grip and Sicheng gasped. His lips parted instinctively. He could still breathe. His breathing was heavier, but he wasn’t in danger. Uncomfortable, sure, but not in danger.

“Jungwoo...” Sicheng whispered. He lifted his right hand and tapped Jungwoo’s arm.

A few seconds passed and Jungwoo released his grip. Sicheng inhaled sharply. Staring up at Jungwoo in shock. He turned his head, looking for Yuta, looking for help.

They were alone.

Sicheng returned his gaze to Jungwoo and Jungwoo grinned. Sicheng swallowed. Jungwoo watched his throat.

He grabbed Sicheng’s throat with both hands. He squeezed, tightening his hands around his neck. Sicheng let out a high pitched sound. Like a small animal. He grabbed Jungwoo’s arms, hitting him, silently begging for Jungwoo to stop.

Sicheng’s mouth was open, trying to inhale despite the pressure. He started coughing. He thrashed around, trying to get out of Jungwoo’s grasp. Jungwoo leaned forward, putting more weight into his grip. Sicheng was choking. What a sight. Jungwoo could watch it forever. Sicheng’s fighting started to let up and Jungwoo’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Sicheng’s hands held unto Jungwoo’s wrists. There wasn’t any pressure, a last symbol of a fight. Jungwoo looked into Sicheng’s dark eyes. Full of fear, betrayal, sadness. His hands fell back down on the bed. His eyes lost focus. He wasn’t looking at Jungwoo anymore. He wasn’t looking at anything. A few quiet sounds left his parted lips before he went quiet. The life faded from his eyes. Jungwoo kept his hands on his throat a bit longer. He wanted the moment to last.

He finally pulled back. A redness signaled the beginning of a nasty bruise forming on Sicheng’s neck. He traced it lightly with the tips of his fingers. Pretty. What a sight!

 

Jungwoo sat up. His breathing was heavy. He looked around the room. He could make out Jaehyun and Doyoung sleeping in their beds.

A dream. It was a dream.

A sigh left Jungwoo. Relief and disappointment at the same time.

He looked down at himself. His body was burning up. What kind of messed up person got turned on at these kinds of thoughts? He reached for his phone and checked the time. 5:30 a.m. He got out of bed. He needed a cold shower.

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng woke up to an empty room. He could see the sun shining brightly behind the curtains. He got out of bed, and walked to the window. He pulled the curtain back. The sun was pretty high in the sky. It had to be close to noon, and yet no one had woken him up? Sicheng made his bed and left the room.

He walked downstairs and immediately he was hit with tension. Ten and Johnny sat by the dinner table, talking among themselves, but they weren’t smiling and fooling around. They were discussing something. Taeil and Kun sat by the table too, they seemed to be just listening, perhaps only speaking up when necessary.

Sicheng looked towards the living room. Taeyong had his serious face on. He looked like he was interrogating Lucas, Jungwoo and Mark. Jaehyun, Yuta and Hansol sat by. Jaehyun interjected something.

Something touched Sicheng’s shoulder and he jumped. He whipped his head around, meeting Doyoung’s gaze. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was as tense as everyone else.

“You can go get whatever you want in the kitchen,” Doyoung said, “we’ll be busy the whole day, so you’ll have to entertain yourself. I’m sure it’ll be a relief for you to be free from Yuta for a day.”

Sicheng smiled a bit, “alright. Can I ask you something, though?”

“Of course!” Doyoung smiled, encouraging any engagement from Sicheng.

“What happened?” Sicheng glanced around, “is it because of iKON?”

Doyoung’s smile faltered, “well, yeah. They said some worrying things. We need to figure out if we have nothing to worry about, or if we need to prepare for something from their side.”

“An attack?” Sicheng blurted out, the worst case scenario forming in his mind right away.

“I don’t know,” Doyoung shrugged, “an attack seems too sudden, but then again, you can’t count on anything with guys like them.”

Doyoung put his hand on Sicheng’s shoulder again and gave a squeeze.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? We’ll handle it,” Doyoung smiled reassuringly, “go eat something.”

Sicheng nodded and shuffled off to the kitchen. Doyoung joined the guys at the dinner table with a sigh.

“Are things progressing?” Doyoung asked, motioning to the interrogation Taeyong was performing in the living room.

Johnny shrugged, “I guess, Taeyong has asked all he can. I think they’re trying to pull out any last details.”

“I just don’t understand,” Ten said, “why would they threaten Sicheng? They’d get nothing out of hurting him.”

“They think it’ll hurt us,” Kun said, “it won’t skew our group, but they’re probably hoping to give us an emotional disadvantage.”

Taeil hummed in agreement, “if they can get us to react irrationally they’ll have the upper hand, even if we outnumber them.”

Ten frowned, “they can’t seriously be thinking like that? Other groups have been able to keep their heads clear after an _actual_  member’s death. They think we’d be that affected if they went after Sicheng? We’d still be able to act logically.”

“I’m not sure what they think he is to us? Obviously they think he’s as valuable as a member,” Johnny spoke thoughtfully, “could they think he’s someone’s significant other?”

“It’s not impossible,” Doyoung said, “Bobby did meet him when he was out with Taeyong. He could have misunderstood.”

“Oh my god,” Johnny ran his hands down his face, “this is such a bother.”

Ten let out a short laugh, “isn’t that all always the case with iKON?”

 

“Do you really think they’d hurt him?” Mark asked, “what good would it do?”

Taeyong sighed, “I don’t know what B.I. is thinking. He and his members are unpredictable. I hope they were bluffing, but we have no way of knowing. If I’d been there I could probably tell you.”

“You know him well?” Lucas inquired.

“Yeah,” Taeyong shrugged, “we negotiate a lot. If I couldn’t read him by now, I don’t think I’d be fit for leading this team.”

“They’re good at bluffing,” Yuta said, “all of them, but B.I. is something else.”

“There’s a reason he’s their leader,” Taeyong shrugged, “you know they say he takes after YG’s dragon.”

“Dragon,” Jaehyun repeated and scoffed, “he’s a snake like everyone else under YG.”

Taeyong smiled bitterly, “while I agree, you know they’d say the same shit about us.”

Jaehyun huffed, but he couldn’t disagree. YG and SM were parted by a sea of bad blood that went way back. Their connections were reason enough to hate the iKON members, even if they under other circumstances probably could have been friends. They couldn’t be that different, they’d ended in the same profession after all. They were even the same age.

 

Sicheng made himself some toast and went upstairs. He didn’t want to wander around the tenseness that filled the living room and dining room. It made him uncomfortable and reminded him too much of the fact that he was very much in constant danger. Though he wasn’t completely trusting of these men he was living with yet, he’d forgotten that he had more to fear than them. Who was to say that someone wouldn’t do to them what they’d done to the triad.

 

* * *

 

 

“You killed someone?!”

Haechan’s voice was filled with both surprise and awe. Chenle shrugged. Haechan looked around at the other boys. Jeno and Jaemin looked pretty shocked too. Jisung sat with an arm around Chenle’s shoulders, looking sympathetic.

“That’s crazy!” Haechan said, “really! But also really amazing.”

Chenle gave him a look, “how is it amazing?”

“Because that was our fear, right? That we wouldn’t be able to do it if it ever came to it. I mean, if someone came looking for us, shouldn’t we be able to do it? To protect us, to protect NEO?”

Jisung gave Chenle a light squeeze, “he has a point, you know?”

Renjun nodded, “if we continue down this road, it would have to happen at some point.”

“I just...” Chenle trailed off. He was affected by the whole thing. On one hand he felt horrible. He’d taken a life. Why should he have the right to decide the fate of someone’s life? But on the other hand it felt good. Not so much the killing in itself, but the feeling of control. The fact that he’d been looked down on, but he’d been able to lift himself above that bastard. It was a nice feeling.

“Listen,” Jaemin smiled and put a hand on Chenle’s knee, “it’s not like we would ever judge you. I think more than anything, I’d be able to do the same if I ever needed to.”

Jeno nodded in agreement, “it’s true. We have to be able to defend ourselves. Even if it ends in this type of situation.”

Chenle sighed, “I guess you’re right. I just feel conflicted.”

“That’s alright,” Jisung spoke, his voice was so much deeper than when they’d all started hanging out, “we’re all here for you. Always will be.”

Chenle rested his head on Jisung’s shoulder and sighed. He met Renjun’s eyes and gave a little smile. He didn’t want the oldest boy to feel worried. He’d be fine. He just needed some time to accept what he’d done. He’d be fine.

 

* * *

 

 

Chanwoo frowned, “hey, come take a look at this!”

Junhoe and Donghyuk both turned around. They’d been out and about, checking up on the iKON territory that lined up with NCT’s. It was a nice neighborhood with expensive apartments, closely located to an equally expensive shopping district. Chanwoo had walked into an alley, suspicious of the way one trash container looked filled to the brim. The black plastic of a big bag stuck out.

“What is it?” Junhoe asked, making a face as he and Donghyuk walked over.

Chanwoo turned to them, “a body.”

Donghyuk raised an eyebrow, “one of ours?”

Chanwoo shook his head, “doesn’t look like it. Homeless, I think.”

“What?” Junhoe furrowed his brows, “why the hell is it dumped on our territory then?”

Donghyuk shrugged, “an out of hand fight, maybe?”

“In this neighborhood?” Chanwoo frowned, “I doubt it. He wouldn’t be hanging around here.”

“I guess,” Donghyuk said, “but then why is it here? It has to be someone who doesn’t know their way around here, yeah? A homeless guy’s body sticks out like a sore thumb around this community.”

“Or maybe it’s NCT,” Junhoe spat.

“And why would they have anything to do with it?”

“To get the police on our ass!” Junhoe exclaimed, “those fuckers.”

“We don’t know if it’s them yet, though,” Chanwoo reminded him, “but we should still tell B.I.”

“Definitely,” Donghyuk agreed, “though, I don’t think it’s NCT.”

Junhoe frowned, “who then?”

“Does it matter?” Donghyuk rolled his eyes, “it’s not like one body is going to send the police our way, you know that. Especially if he really is just a homeless dude. We’d have to kill someone who’d actually be considered important.”

Junhoe mumbled a few profanities, but reluctantly agreed. The police feared them just as anyone else, they’d have to fuck up majorly for the police to actually try to do anything to them. They had to be sure that they could put them behind bars forever, otherwise they’d just be putting themselves and everyone around them in danger. That was a fact.

“And don’t go giving B.I the idea that NCT might be behind it,” Donghyuk said sternly, as they made their way down the street again; leaving the body behind, “he’s already angry enough with them.”

“We should just take them out,” Junhoe complained, “they’re a pain in the ass.”

“And they also outnumber us,” Chanwoo said, “we can’t just go attack them, you know.”

“Right,” Donghyuk agreed, “that’s why B.I is trying to find a way to get an advantage.”

“We should just ask Seungyoon, honestly!” Junhoe said.

“We’d still be outnumbered,” Chanwoo retorted.

“Don’t be ridiculous, at that point it wouldn’t matter,” Junhoe continued, “that would be enough to take out those pussies.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“Are you saying I’m wrong?” Junhoe asked, “you know Mino and Seunghoon are crazy bastards, they could easily take on that Japanese dude Taeyong recruited a few years ago. Even if he’s a dirty fighter.”

“As if you aren’t,” Donghyuk rolled his eyes, “and you know exactly why that Yuta guy fights like he does, even Mino and Seunghoon would have a hard time against him.”

“He’s a sneaky bastard,” Junhoe complained.

“Is he really that big of a deal? I mean, NCT has good fighters, is he that outstanding?” Chanwoo asked.

Donghyuk laughed dryly, “oh yeah, he’s something else. Since he wasn’t always a part of NCT, or SM for that matter, he’s gotten some different things drilled into his head in the Japanese gang he was in before.”

“What kinds of things?” Chanwoo asked, “can it really be that much worse than a gang here?”

Donghyuk sighed, “obviously we don’t know the exact details, but apparently their initiations are some of the most fucked up. He was part of one of the most powerful branches of one of the most powerful gangs, and there’s reasons they’re on top. The people in that gang are broken down from the start. If Yuta’s anything like his ex-members then he’s pretty much without emotions in a fight.”

“Holy shit,” Chanwoo said, “no emotions at all?”

“None,” Donghyuk assured, “not even anger. They’re all like robots, ready to die for their gang. That’s about as much as we’ve heard, though. As I said, we don’t know the details.”

Chanwoo looked at Junhoe, who brought a finger to his temple and waved it around, grimacing, to signal that he thought the gang in question consisted of crazy people. Chanwoo didn’t ask anymore questions.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, i just wanna say sorry to NCT's parents, i'm sure they're all lovely people and i'm out here making 90% of them assholes :(  
> anyway, here's an update before my semester starts and for anyone who cares i passed my exams! seriously thanks for your sweet comments ;u;  
> also i'll just drop my twitter again, bc i really want people to talk to and i'm not really a fan of the reply system thing on here @klassiskmakker

Sicheng was focused on the game in his hands. He’d decided that playing one of the games Yuta had given him would be a good distraction from the tension that lurked downstairs. It had been hard at first, but at this point he was completely into the game. While searching through the games he’d also noted a game that a friend of his had when he was little. He’d tried it back then and made a mental note to give it a try again at some point. When he’d seen the familiar game he couldn’t help but briefly wonder what his friend was doing now. Not only him, but everyone from before. He’d pushed the thoughts away before they affected him too much.

A knock made him look up.

Yuta stood in the doorway. He smiled at Sicheng and walked in.

“You enjoying yourself?”

Sicheng nodded. Yuta took a seat on the bed beside Sicheng and leaned in to see what game he was playing.

“Kun, Ten and Jungwoo are going to go get food soon,” Yuta said, “is there anything you want?”

Yuta looked expectantly at him and Sicheng shrugged.

“I’ll just eat what you get.”

“Come on,” Yuta nudged Sicheng’s side, “there must be something? You want Chinese food, maybe?”

“It’s fine either way, really...” Sicheng spoke, shrugging again.

Yuta looked at him for a bit. He tilted his head to the side. Sicheng looked back into Yuta’s eyes. After a few seconds Sicheng broke his gaze and looked down on the game, but he still felt Yuta’s eyes on him. He tried to focus on his character moving forward on the little screen, but it was impossible for him to do that with Yuta staring at him. Sicheng dared another look at Yuta, but immediately regretted it when he saw that Yuta hadn’t stopped looking at him. Sicheng quickly looked back at the console in his hands. He felt his cheeks heat up. He didn’t understand how Yuta could have such an unbreakable gaze. Didn’t he get uncomfortable? Yuta’s confidence was on another level.

Sicheng squirmed and turned to Yuta without actually meeting his eyes, “what is it?”

Yuta giggled and Sicheng met his gaze then, in confusion. Yuta was grinning at him.

“You’re really cute, you know?”

Sicheng looked away. Yuta laughed again and placed a hand on Sicheng’s arm, squeezing lightly.

“You really don’t want anything specifically?”

Sicheng shook his head, still too embarrassed to look at Yuta.

“Alright,” Yuta stood up, “you can just tell us, you know? If there’s anything you want. It’s not a burden or anything for us to get extra fries or a cake or whatever you want.”

Sicheng nodded, “thank you, but it’s fine, really..!”

Yuta sighed, but smiled at the blushing boy, “you really need to learn how to ask for stuff.”

Sicheng watched Yuta leave the room. The tension in Sicheng’s body left with him. He kind of wished that he could stop himself from reacting like that. Yuta had been nothing but kind to him, but the proximity was so hard. Sicheng couldn’t help but instinctively search away from Yuta’s touchy personality. It was ingrained into his head that he shouldn’t accept being touched.

It was with a dejected sigh that Sicheng saved and turned off the game he’d been playing. He lay down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn’t help but feel bad. He knew that all the men around him, especially Yuta, tried to make him as comfortable as possible. And despite this he still acted like this. He just wanted to be the way they wanted him to, but that was hard when they wouldn’t say what that entailed. They told him to be himself. Easy to say, but hard to do considering he’d been acting as someone else for years.

Sicheng rubbed his eyes before anymore self-pitying tears could even come out and he stood up, determined. He hurried out of the room and down the stairs.

Kun, Ten and Jungwoo stood by the door, talking to Yuta. Ten was writing something down on his phone, nodding at whatever Yuta was saying.

Sicheng’s determination wavered for a second, but he pulled himself together and walked over to them. Jungwoo noticed him first and smiled at him.

“Uh, Yuta?”

Yuta looked up at the sound of his name and he turned to Sicheng, his smile turning into a grin when their eyes met.

“Yeah?”

Sicheng played with his fingers awkwardly, “I, uh, I changed my mind.”

“Oh? About what?”

Sicheng averted his gaze, “I- there is something I want...”

Yuta perked up, “yeah?”

Sicheng nodded.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Strawberries...”

“Strawberries?”

Sicheng nodded again and Yuta grinned at him, before turning to Ten, “alright, write down strawberries, too.”

A short laugh left Ten and he nodded, “done, we’ll pick up some strawberries for you, Sicheng.”

Sicheng smiled awkwardly. Kun and Yuta looked equally pleased and impressed with Sicheng’s initiative, even if it was just a small thing. Sicheng watched as Ten left with Kun and Jungwoo in tow, and a relieved sigh left him without him even thinking about it.

Yuta placed a hand on his shoulder, “I promise it’ll get easier. I thought it was hard to ask for stuff at first, too.”

Sicheng tilted his head, confused.

Yuta smiled and petted Sicheng’s hair, “I was new around here once, too.”

Sicheng smiled softly as Yuta went to the living room. He could still feel the frustration radiating of Taeyong even from where he stood. Johnny and Taeil looked equally as tense, and it obviously rubbed off on the other men. Sicheng decided that his strawberry request was enough of a step towards ‘being himself’, whatever that would turn out to mean, and went back upstairs to continue his game.

An hour or so later Yuta came to announce that the food had arrived, and so had his strawberries. Sicheng followed Yuta down. Everyone was helping themselves to the food that had been placed on the dining table.

Sicheng jumped at the hand that suddenly grabbed his arm. He turned to see Ten.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Ten laughed, “I just wanted to say that the strawberries are on the counter in the kitchen, you can grab them whenever.”

Sicheng nodded, “okay. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Ten patted his back and went to get some food as well.

Sicheng looked at the food. It was kind of overwhelming how much food had been lined up, but then again there were a lot of people living together.

“ _I got Chinese food too, if you want that._ ”

Sicheng turned to see that Kun had come to his side. Kun smiled and pointed to the food at the end of the table and Sicheng found himself gravitating towards the familiar looking food.

Kun followed, still smiling, “ _it’s authentic, too. There’s a Chinese restaurant not too far from here run by a Chinese family. Their food is great._ ”

“ _It looks good..._ ” Sicheng said. Kun noticed the soft smile on his lips and grinned. Sicheng really was cute, he couldn’t blame Yuta for falling for the charms that the boy didn’t even seem to realize he had.

“ _I want to talk to you about something, by the way,”_  Kun said and Sicheng looked at him, a bit worried about Kun’s change in tone.

“ _Okay..._ ”

“ _You don’t mind eating upstairs, right? I think you’d prefer to hear this in private_.”

Sicheng frowned, but nodded. They both got food and Sicheng followed Kun upstairs, nervous about whatever it was that he wanted to talk about.

 

* * *

 

 

Jaemin exhaled and watched the smoke play in the air momentarily before it disappeared. He looked around at the parking lot, empty except for their car. He’d noticed something on the ground the first day they’d chosen to use the old store as their hideout, but hadn’t had the time to really look into it. Now he could, though, so he made his way towards the fence at the end opposite the store. The lot wasn’t closed off, but parts of the chain-link fence was boarded up, probably as a quick fix when the store was still running. Jaemin took a drag of his cigarette as he neared the stain.

It looked like dried blood.

Jaemin raised a brow and crouched down. He touched it and brought his hand up.

Yeah, definitely blood.

He wouldn’t be surprised if someone had died here, considering the types of people they’d thrown out when they arrived. It was the amount of blood that got him curious. It had been a while since they’d had a real downpour, so it hadn’t been washed away by rain. Jaemin had a feeling it would take more than a little rain to get this stain to disappear, though. He wondered if the police had been here, there was no body, but that didn’t mean that the police were the ones to clean it up.

“Jaemin? What’s up?”

Jaemin turned to see Jeno join him. He raised his brows at the stain.

“Holy shit.”

“I know,” Jaemin brought his cigarette to his lips and inhaled. He let the puff of smoke float into the air and held out the cigarette for Jeno.

“Thanks,” Jeno took it and took a drag.

“I wonder what happened,” Jaemin commented, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“A fight?” Jeno shrugged, flicking the filter so ash fluttered down unto the asphalt.

“With so much blood?” Jaemin questioned.

“I guess not,” Jeno said, “maybe someone got stabbed?”

“Maybe.”

They stood quietly for a while, the only sound being Jeno letting the cigarette fall to the ground and crushing it under his shoe after a last drag.

“You think Chenle’s okay?”

Jeno sighed, “I don’t know. Not right now, but I think he will be.”

“I didn’t think he’d be the first.”

“No?” Jeno looked at Jaemin, “I guess I didn’t either, but he is quite emotional.”

“I know,” Jaemin said, “I just thought it’s be Renjun or Haechan, since they’ve always been more aggressive and reactionary.”

Jeno was quiet for a few seconds.

“You think you could do it?”

Jaemin laughed dryly, “I think you know the answer to that.”

Jeno frowned, “easier said than done, don’t you think?”

Jaemin looked at Jeno and said with a serious tone, “I mean it. If I ever got the chance to kill my dad, I would do it without question.”

They looked at each other for a bit before Jeno nodded.

“Yeah. I believe you.”

 

* * *

 

 

“We’ll have a group meeting tomorrow,” Taeyong announced as everyone was finishing up dinner.

Everyone went silent and nodded, waiting for Taeyong to continue. They could hear it in his voice, he was serious.

“I want you all to think about the things we’ll talk about, okay? Consider whether you have any inputs,” Taeyong ran a hand through his hair, “first of all; iKON. The whole situation with them, we need to think about what to do. I want to talk about Hansol’s departure, as well.”

The silence grew heavy. Perhaps iKON was a bigger problem, but the mention of Hansol woke different feelings. Yuta put a hand on Hansol’s knee. They made eye contact and Hansol forced a smile.

“And lastly,” Taeyong sighed, “we need to talk about Sicheng again.”

Taeil tilted his head, “what’s your angle?”

“I think we need to tell the other leaders about him.”

“No,” Yuta blurted out, realizing immediately that he might have stepped out of line, but he continued, “we can’t. No way they’ll allow us to keep him here.”

“I agree,” Taeil said softly, “I know it’s against everything we’ve promised the other leaders, but we don’t know what will happen if we tell them about him.”

Taeyong furrowed his brows, “I’m aware, but the longer we keep this a secret, the angrier they’ll get. I think we might have Irene on our side and Sunny could probably persuade Taeyeon, but I don’t know about the others...”

“Victoria has a past in triads, she might have a soft spot for Sicheng if we explain the situation,” Johnny noted.

“That’s true,” Taeyong sighed again, “please think it over, okay? We really might be in deep shit right now.”

Everyone nodded and watched as their leader left the room, obviously stressed out by the mess they’d gotten into. Yuta felt a pang of guilt. He talked Sicheng’s case when they’d found him. On the other hand he wouldn’t have been able to handle killing the boy or just leaving him behind. No way. Taeyong wouldn’t have had the heart to do that either.

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng was eating slowly, waiting for Kun to speak. It was obvious that he wanted to, but he didn’t seem to quite know how to start. They were sitting on Kun’s bed, eating in silence. Kun’s brows were furrowed and Sicheng worried so much about what he’d tell him. Sicheng managed to get halfway through his meal before Kun spoke up.

“ _I tried to find your family._ ”

Kun’s words were followed by the sound of Sicheng’s utensils ‘clank’ against the plate. He looked up wide-eyed.

“ _I couldn’t do any deep digging without going to another group in SM and they can’t know about you. So right now it’s pretty much impossible to find anything. You and your parents are basically nonexistent because of the connection with the triad. I found very few things that could be about your family, but I can’t say with certainty that it’s them._ ”

Sicheng felt something in his chest tighten. His heart seemed to drop. It felt like someone had tied a knot on something in throat. He forced his words out.

“ _W-what did you find..?_ ”

Kun looked at the boy, “ _just remember that this isn’t certain, okay? I couldn’t find anything about you mother, and everything that could refer to you didn’t use your name. But I found one article, it might have been about your dad._ ”

Sicheng felt a pang of guilt when he realized that he didn’t care. His dad was the reason all the bad things in his life had happened. He wanted to know about his mother. He wanted to hear that she was okay.

Sicheng picked up his chopsticks and picked at his food, “ _what about him?_ ”

“ _He might be dead._ ”

Sicheng nodded. He stared at his food as tears filled his eyes. Kun grabbed both their plates and put them on the nightstand by the bed. He sat down in front of Sicheng and put a hand on his shoulder.

“ _Its okay if you’re sad. We’ve told you, you don’t have to feel bad about crying._ ”

Sicheng looked up at Kun, tears threatening to fall.

“ _Kun? Am I a bad person if it doesn’t make me sad?_ ”

Kun blinked, “ _no? I just thought you’d be sad. But why are you crying then?_ ”

“ _I feel bad... I should be sad, but I’m just not,_ ” Sicheng buried his face in his hands and finally let the tears fall, “ _I just want to see my mom..!_ ”

Kun sighed sympathetically and pulled Sicheng into a hug. He was sobbing. Kun rubbed his back and held him close. He couldn’t do much else. He’d been suspicious of the boy at first, not to the same extent as Jaehyun, but suspicious nonetheless. And now here he was, comforting the boy and wanting nothing more than to help him find some sort of happiness. Kun wasn’t sure if Sicheng would ever truly feel at home with them, but if he couldn’t help the boy home, then he’d at least try his best to give him something close to it.

“ _I promise if Taeyong let’s me, then I’ll contact someone with a bigger chance of finding her, okay? It might take a long time. Even years, but that’s a promise, okay?_ ”

Sicheng nodded and whispered a ‘ _thank you_ ’. He leaned into Kun’s arms. He just needed the warmth and the comfort from someone else. Just for a bit.

 

* * *

 

 

_Taeyong felt a thrill rush through his body as he jumped from his window and down unto a garbage container. Not very elegantly, but he didn’t get hurt. He jumped down and looked up at the open window. He could hear the commotion from his home and with a frown he hurried off._

_He was just walking through the streets without any real destination. It was dark outside and the temperature was dropping as the winter neared. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, trying to keep warm._

_A small smile formed on Taeyong’s lips as he made it to busier streets. Even in the middle of the night there were people, and street lights and neon sings lit up his way as he walked aimlessly around. No one acknowledged him as he passed people, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t go out to meet people. He just needed to go somewhere else to get distracted._

_A couple walked past him, giggling and chatting. Taeyong felt a bit jealous, but he didn’t feel anything bad towards the couple. He envied their happiness, but still congratulated them in his mind. He liked seeing happy people._

_He wandered the streets for a long time. It was a Saturday, so he saw plenty of intoxicated people stumble happily down the streets. A group of girls had loudly wished him a lovely evening when they passed him, laughing and having fun as they continued on their way._

_At some point he felt water hit the tip of his nose. He looked up to see the heavy clouds above him and it wasn’t long until he was running through the rain with his hood pulled up._

_He left the busy streets and ended up in a neighborhood way nicer than his own. Small, but inviting houses with back gardens and small terraces in the front. It was still pouring down when he walked up to the front door of one of the houses, finally out of the rain._

_Taeyong hesitated for a second. It was in the middle of the night after all. He looked out at the pouring rain and frowned. He really didn’t want to go home._

_He rang the bell and waited._

_It took a few minutes, but then the door was pulled open. A woman stood in her pyjamas and a shocked look formed on her face._

_“Taeyong? Dear, what are you doing out in the rain?” She hurried him inside, worry evident in her voice._

_“I... Sorry for showing up like this,” Taeyong said, pulling off his hood. It hadn’t done much. His jacket was far from waterproof and he’d gotten soaked._

_“Don’t apologize,” the woman said, “you know you’re always welcome. Oh, you’re drenched, Taeyong! Wait here.”_

_Taeyong stood awkwardly in the hallway while the woman hurried off. She returned quickly with a towel and put it on Taeyong’s head, drying his hair._

_“You need a new jacket, young man! This won’t do in the winter.”_

_“I don’t know if I can afford it, though,” Taeyong spoke from underneath the towel._

_The woman sighed, “I’m sure you’ll fit one of Taeil’s. Take off your shoes and jacket, dear, you can sleep here tonight.”_

_“Are you sure?” Taeyong looked up from under the towel and the woman looked at him with a sad smile._

_“Of course. I mean it,” she cupped his cheek, “you’re always welcome here, Taeyong.”_

_Taeyong nodded and toed off his shoes. He pulled off his jacket too and the woman snatched it from him._

_“I’ll hang it up to dry. Go ask Taeil to borrow some clothes, then I’ll hang the rest up too,” Taeyong was about to respond, but she beat him to it, “and that’s an order, young man.”_

_Taeyong couldn’t help but smile as he nodded. He hurried upstairs and entered Taeil’s room._

_Taeil was fast a sleep. Taeyong shuffled over and turned on the lamp on his bedside table. Taeil whined and rolled over in his sleep, turning away from the light._

_“Taeil, hey,” Taeyong shook him gently, “wake up.”_

_“Hm?” Taeil squinted up at Taeyong. He blinked a few times and sat up, “you’re soaked.”_

_Taeyong smiled, “I know, can I borrow some clothes?”_

_Taeil let out a tired laugh and rubbed his eyes, “mhm. I’ll find some.”_

_Taeil got out of bed with a yawn and shuffled to his closet. He pulled out a pyjamas set and threw at Taeyong._

_“Thanks.”_

_“Anytime,” Taeil sat down on his bed as Taeyong started to change, “what happened?”_

_Taeyong pulled off his shirt and shrugged, “I’m not sure. I just heard them start to fight, so.”_

_Taeil frowned, “that’s new.”_

_He pointed at a bruise above Taeyong’s hip. Taeyong put on the pyjama shirt and started buttoning it._

_“Yeah,” Taeyong said, “my dad got real angry yesterday.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t be,” Taeyong said as he changed into the pyjama bottoms, “it’s not like it’s your fault.”_

_“Why don’t you just stay here?”_

_Taeil looked almost desperate. Taeyong shook his head._

_“I don’t want to burden your family, I told you.”_

_“And I keep telling you that you aren’t a burden.”_

_Taeyong picked up his clothes, “I’ll be right back.”_

_Taeil sighed as he watched his friend leave. He worried so much for Taeyong. So did his parents. He just wanted Taeyong to be happy. He got under the covers again, making sure to leave room for Taeyong to crawl under the duvet with him. He’d always have room for Taeyong._


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not dead! and i'm definitely not done with this story! real life just got in the way for a while, so i hope you can forgive my lack of updating haha  
> for real tho real life got so much in the way that i didn't see the wakey wakey mv until yesterday and omg why does johnny look like sk8er boi era avril lavigne????

_Kun looked over the papers diligently. He wrote down names on a separate paper and noted how much they owed underneath. He knew he shouldn’t care, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for these people. They’d probably gone to the triad for loans out of desperation and now they’d be in debt forever. He knew some of them, if not most of them, probably had good intentions when they made the decision to loan money, but they’d severely underestimated the consequences._

_When he’d finished looking through everything, he got up and went to see his leader. Kun didn’t have anything to do with charging these people, he just kept track of the financial part of the whole ordeal. His leader took care of sending someone out to collect the debt._

_Kun knocked on the door of the leader’s office. He was quickly granted entrance._

_“Wanglei,” Kun bowed deeply to his leader, “Xia, good to see you.”_

_He bowed to his leader’s wife. She smiled at him._

_“It’s good to see you as well, Kun.”_

_“I’ve finished going through those in debt,” Kun stated, returning his focus to Wanglei._

_“Very good,” the man said, “hand them over.”_

_Kun hurried to Wanglei’s desk and handed the man the papers with another bow._

_“Anyone I should be particularly harsh on?” Wanglei asked absentmindedly, looking over the names._

_“I don’t think it’s necessary this time around,” Kun said._

_The door suddenly swung open behind him, and Kun spun around. Wanglei’s oldest son walked in. Kun wasn’t very fond of him, he’d always liked his younger brother more, but he couldn’t deny that Wanglei was right in bringing this boy up to be handed over the reins. His brother wouldn’t be able to lead the triad._

_“Chao,” Xia walked over and gave her son a quick hug, “you’re back already.”_

_“Yeah, they were easy to persuade,” Chao grinned, “Ah, hello, Kun.”_

_Kun bowed quickly, “Chao. Hello.”_

_Wanglei put down the papers, “Chao, sit down. I want to hear about the results. Kun, you’re dismissed.”_

_“Yes,” Kun bowed again and walked to the door._

_“Oh, Kun, before you go,” Chao spoke up, “will you tell my brother I want to have dinner together? I want to talk to him.”_

_Kun nodded, despite errand running not being his job, “of course, I’ll tell him when he gets back from school.”_

_“Thanks,” Chao smiled and turned back to his dad._

_Kun left the room, shutting the door behind him. He sighed. He really was not fond of Chao. Kun was well aware that being the son of Wanglei put Chao at a higher position than him, but they were the same age, Chao had no reason to act so supercilious. His brother was much more tolerable. He didn’t let his power get to his head, in fact Kun wasn’t sure he even liked the power he had. He seemed more interested in a normal life than one in the triad. Kun couldn’t blame him, but he couldn’t escape it. Kun definitely felt stuck in this kind of life after the choices he’d made to end up there, but Wanglei’s sons were literally born into it._

_He went to his room to grab a book and then went to what could be considered the triad’s common room. He sat down to read while waiting for Xiaojun to get home._

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng stared at the ceiling. The room was dark and on the other side of the room he could hear Yuta and Hansol’s breathing. They were fast asleep. Sicheng turned over, looking at their forms in the darkness.

Yuta was laying on his back, his face turned towards Sicheng. Hansol wasn’t very visible, but his arm was thrown over Yuta’s waist. It was kind of cute. Sicheng could tell the two were close. Very close. He wasn’t sure if they considered themselves to be in a relationship, but they certainly could be.

Sicheng snuggled into his duvet, hugging the edge. He was used to sleeping alone. He’d slept alone for years, in a locked room without windows. But now, looking at Yuta and Hansol, he felt a weird pang in his chest. He was reminded of the nights he’d sneak into his parents’ room after a nightmare. He’d wake up his mom and she’d give him a tired smile before lifting up her duvet, letting him climb in. She hugged him close and ran her fingers through his hair, whispering soothing words. He’d fall asleep to the sound of her humming a lullaby while she held him in her arms.

A whimper left him. He pulled the duvet closer and shut his eyes tight. He felt the tears escape nonetheless. He cried silently, trying to muffle any sniffles or sobs with the duvet. He felt so stupid. Crying all the time. It was so horrible. He didn’t want to cry all the time, but he couldn’t hold it back. It was like moving in with NCT had broken something inside him. Whatever used to hold all his emotions, held them inside, it had broken and now every little thing caused him to cry like a child.

“Sicheng..?” Yuta’s voice came quietly from the other side of the room. His voice was hoarse from sleep.

Sicheng opened his eyes. Yuta was leaning on his elbows, looking over at him. Sicheng just stared back.

“Are you okay?”

Sicheng nodded. He was afraid of speaking. His voice would surely give him away.

Yuta sighed and sat up. He rubbed his eyes before turning to look at Hansol. Sicheng heard Hansol mumble something, Yuta responded. He couldn’t make out what they were saying.

Yuta yawned and pulled back his duvet. He got up and shuffled to Sicheng’s bed. Sicheng just watched him as he walked over and crouched down so they were face to face.

“What’s wrong?” Yuta asked, reaching up to pet Sicheng’s head.

“Nothing...” Sicheng muttered, casting his eyes down.

“Mhm,” Yuta hummed and stood up.

Sicheng expected him to go back to bed. There was no reason for him to waste time on Sicheng’s stupid emotions, especially in the middle of the night. However, Yuta climbed over Sicheng and flopped down on his bed. Sicheng tensed up. Yuta grabbed at his duvet from behind.

“Let me in,” he mumbled, “it’s cold.”

Sicheng turned over and stared wide-eyed at Yuta, who stared back. Sicheng realized the man was serious and he hesitantly lifted up the duvet. Yuta smiled and moved closer. He wrapped his arms around Sicheng’s waist, pulling the boy closer so there would be no risk of him falling off the bed. Yuta buried his head against Sicheng’s shoulder and sighed.

“Tomorrow,” Yuta mumbled, his breath hitting Sicheng’s skin, “tell me why you’re upset, okay?”

Sicheng didn’t reply. Yuta gave him a squeeze.

“O-okay.”

“Good boy,” Yuta said, Sicheng could hear his smile, “now sleep.”

It didn’t happen straight away, but Sicheng did fall asleep. Yuta felt the tenseness leave Sicheng’s body. He even felt him move just the slightest bit closer, whether it was intentional or not Yuta couldn’t tell. It only took a few more minutes before Yuta heard Sicheng’s breathing get heavier and with that Yuta allowed himself to drift off as well.

 

* * *

 

 

_Dongyoung’s shoulder collided with the woman’s and he immediately apologized. He bowed, asking her if she was okay. She confirmed, telling the teenager that he didn’t need to worry. He smiled sheepishly and apologized with another bow. The woman gave a quick bow in return and continued on her way. Dongyoung did the same, hurrying through the crowd in the opposite direction._

_When he felt he had put enough distance between them, he pulled out the woman’s wallet from his pocket. He pulled out the bills in it and stuffed them into a pocket inside his jacket. He hurried on, inconspicuously dropping the wallet on the ground. Someone would find it and hopefully return it to her. Her driver’s license was in there, so it should be possible._

_Dongyoung scouted the crowd, trying to find someone who’d be an easy target. He didn’t exactly enjoy stealing, but he didn’t have much choice given his situation. He spotted two guys studying the menu of a restaurant, probably considering whether to eat there or not. It would be easy, the tallest of the two had his wallet in his back pocket._

_He moved with the crowd and passed the two guys quickly, snatching the wallet on his way. He quickly blended into the crowd again. He sped up, knowing that something stolen from a pocket would be noticed quicker than something stolen from a bag. He turned a corner, down a different street. He figured he could head to one of his friends’ home and beg them to let him crash a day or two._

_Suddenly he was pulled backwards, someone tugging at his jacket. A yelp left him as he was pulled into an alley. He managed to pull away before anyone could get a real hold of him. He pulled out his pocket knife, ready to defend himself._

_Dongyoung’s eyes widened a bit when he realized that it was the two men from the restaurant that had cornered him in the alley. Neither of them looked particularly impressed. The tall one stepped forward and Dongyoung flicked open the knife._

_The tall guy tilted his head and gave a cocky smile, “don’t act tough, kid. Just give me back my shit and we’re good, **alright**?”_

_Dongyoung didn’t miss the accent he had. He looked Korean, but he didn’t sound like he’d always lived there. Not to mention the English he’d thrown in at the end._

_“Are you deaf or something?” The shorter guy spoke up, “you’re outnumbered, just give up.”_

_Dongyoung kept his knife out, but grabbed the guy’s wallet from his pocket and threw it at him. He caught easily._

_“There,” Dongyoung sneered, “now leave me alone.”_

_The tall guy raised an eyebrow and checked his wallet, “cute.”_

_Dongyoung frowned as the guy gave him a mean smile._

_“You’re a quick little bastard, aren’t you?”_

_He advanced quickly and Dongyoung barely registered his movements, but managed to react at the last second. He turned his knife on the guy, who avoided a dangerous stab, but Dongyoung still managed to draw blood with another swipe of his knife. The guy hissed at the new wound on his cheek. He got a hold of Dongyoung’s wrists, but Dongyoung wasn’t about to give up the fight. He sent a swift kick to the guy’s leg, causing them both to stumble. Doyoung managed to use his weight to get the guy to fall first, so he received most of the fall’s impact. It knocked the air out of him and stunned him for a few seconds. Doyoung was on his feet quickly, but as he turned to flee he was met with the barrel of a gun staring at him._

_He’d completely forgotten about the shorter guy._

_“You’re a good fighter, you know that?”_

_Dongyoung glared at him._

_“It’s a genuine compliment, you brat,” the guy said, rolling his eyes, “what’s your name?”_

_“What’s it to you?”_

_“Just answer him,” the taller guy was back on his feet, “you might get out alive.”_

_“Doyoung,” it wasn’t completely right, but he didn’t feel like giving his name out to those guys and it was the first thing that came to mind._

_“And why are you stealing like this, Doyoung?”_

_“Because I don’t want to starve,” Dongyoung deadpanned._

_“Oh, street kid, are you?” The tall guy asked, patting Dongyoung’s shoulder as he passed him to stand by his friend._

_“Your parents kicked you out?”_

_Dongyoung shook his head, “I don’t feel like sharing my life story, sorry.”_

_The shorter of the two chuckled, “alright, Doyoung, I’m Taeyong.”_

_He put away the gun and held out his hand. Dongyoung furrowed his brows and hesitated. Taeyong didn’t budge. Dongyoung shook his hand._

_“And that’s Johnny.”_

_He motioned to the tall guy, who gave a wave and an almost friendly smile._

_“You need a place to stay?” Taeyong asked._

_“Why? Are you offering?” Dongyoung crossed his arms._

_“Maybe.”_

_“And why would you do that?”_

_“Can’t I do it out of the kindness of my heart?”_

_Dongyoung laughed dryly, “you just pulled a gun on me, sorry if I’m skeptical.”_

_“Alright, how about this? If you get desperate enough, then you can call and we’ll discuss it, yeah?” Taeyong pulled out a pen, grabbed Dongyoung’s arm and wrote down a number._

_Dongyoung looked at the number and back up at the two guys, confused. Taeyong smiled at him and shrugged._

_“Just an offer,” Taeyong said, “see you around, Doyoung.”_

_“And you can keep the money,” Johnny grinned and waved._

_Taeyong stopped by the alley’s exit, “oh, and I’d appreciate it if you told us your real name next time.”_

_Dongyoung gaped at Taeyong and Johnny as they disappeared around the corner and out of sight._

_What just happened?_

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng squirmed a bit, waking up slowly. He was surrounded by warmth and snuggled into it, not really wanting to leave it to get up. He felt an arm wrap around him, pulling him closer. Sicheng felt realization wash over him.

It was Yuta.

Sicheng shut his eyes tighter. If he just ignored it he could enjoy the warmth a bit longer. Sicheng figured they’d moved around during the night, because he felt Yuta place his chin against the top of his head. Yuta let out a tired but content sigh.

Behind him Sicheng heard movement. Hansol was waking up as well. He heard the man get out of bed and move around a bit before he moved towards the bed Sicheng and Yuta were sharing.

“You awake?” Hansol asked quietly.

Yuta hummed, “yeah. What’s up?”

“We probably can’t sleep in too long today,” Hansol spoke, “you know Taeyong wanted a meeting, and I think it’ll be a long one.”

Yuta groaned, still trying to keep quiet, “shit, that’s right.”

Sicheng felt Yuta move his arm away and he felt disappointed for a second. Yuta sat up and the warmth disappeared. He opened his eyes then, figuring he didn’t need to pretend anymore.

“Oh, did we wake you?” Hansol asked, sounding like he genuinely felt bad.

Yuta looked down at him and Sicheng shook his head. Yuta reached out and ran his fingers through Sicheng’s hair.

“We’ll talk later, okay?”

Sicheng nodded hesitantly. Yuta wasn’t going to let it go. He felt bad, but he didn’t want to talk about it. If he had to, he’d prefer Kun. There was something about being able to use his first language when talking about these things that felt better. And Kun already knew so much. Kun was definitely the one who’d seen him cry the most. Sicheng didn’t like the crying and the less people that saw him gross and ugly like that the better.

Yuta stretched and turned to Hansol, “let’s go down then, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Hansol said.

“You’ll probably have to entertain yourself again today, alright?” Yuta said to Sicheng, who simply nodded in response.

With that they left. Sicheng sighed. He was laying there, once again staring at the ceiling. He didn’t really know what to do now. At some point he’d have to go get some breakfast, but at that moment he just didn’t feel like doing anything. He was considering if he could get Yuta to change his mind. Maybe he could just tell Kun what had upset him. That would be easier, right? Since Kun already knew so much? Then again, maybe Kun didn’t want to hear more about his problems. Sicheng couldn’t just assume that Kun would want to listen to him again and again.

At some point Sicheng finally rolled out of bed. He didn’t really feel like going downstairs. His stomach growled, but he didn’t want to go eat. He wondered about the meeting Hansol mentioned as he found some clothes in the closet. He figured a shower could relax him, maybe he could get some different thoughts into his head so he could stop worrying about the talk Yuta wanted to have with him.

He shuffled to the bathroom and undressed. He looked into the mirror and sighed. His eyes were still a bit puffy from crying the night before. He leaned in closer and frowned. He’d gotten some quite dark circles since NCT took him in. He didn’t sleep well. First the nightmares started again, like when the triad had originally forced him to stay with them. He’d slept terribly then too. It took a while for him to sleep somewhat soundly. He hoped it wouldn’t take as long this time around. He hated the signs of exhaustion on his face.

Sicheng sighed and got into the shower. He let the warm water cascade down on him. It felt so nice to just stand there. He concentrated on the sound of the water and it distracted him from other looming thoughts. He took his time with washing himself, he really just wanted to stay in the shower all day.

When he finally finished he also took his time drying off and getting dressed. His stomach was hurrying him, but he felt so weird. He didn’t want to go down. It wasn’t just the talk with Yuta, he knew. Something else was making his stomach churn. He felt like something was off. He just couldn’t tell what it was.

The hallway was quiet. Sicheng walked slowly down the stairs. Still quiet. He didn’t like it. It didn’t feel right for the apartment to be so quiet. He reached the bottom of the stairs and then stood there. Staring at the open space. Completely empty. He remembered the last time that happened. He’d thoroughly embarrassed himself by wailing like a child.

He shook his head and hurried into the kitchen. He was about to search for some cereal when he spotted the strawberries Ten had gotten him. He walked over and couldn’t help a small smile. A post-it note had been plastered on the box with the words ‘Sicheng’s!!! Don’t touch!!!’ written on it. He wondered if Yuta had written it.

Sicheng grabbed a bowl from one of the cupboards and washed around half of the strawberries before pouring them into the bowl. His stomach growled at him as he struggled with getting the tops off. He licked the strawberry juice off his fingers and went searching for something to dip them in. He didn’t find any cream, but he did find a chocolate spread in a cupboard. He paused for moment, wondering if anyone would mind him taking some. He’d been told to help himself, so it’d be fine, right? He put a bit in the bowl to dip the strawberries in and then sat down by the dining table.

So, it wasn’t the most healthy breakfast. But Sicheng couldn’t help himself. He’d missed eating strawberries like this. Jianjun had allowed him to eat strawberries once in a while, but he hadn’t gotten to eat them with something to dip them in since before. His mother used to spoil him with strawberries with cream or chocolate when he’d done well in school, sometimes she just did it because she wanted to. Sicheng felt equally happy and sad remembering those times.

When he finished he just sat there for a while. He looked at the clock. Around 2 p.m.

He went and washed the bowl. He couldn’t help but think of that meeting again. He hadn’t seen anyone since Yuta and Hansol left the room earlier. It had been around 10 a.m. then. Sicheng wandered to the small hallway by the stairs. The meeting room, a bathroom and a room Sicheng hadn’t been in were the only rooms there.

Sicheng walked closer to the meeting room. He could hear talking, but it was very muffled. He stepped closer. He was so curious. They’d never know, right?

Sicheng leaned in, trying to make out what was being talked about.

 

 

Taeyong ran a hand through his hair and furrowed his brows, “let’s take a break from the iKON topic, okay? I think we need to talk about Sicheng before we take a break.”

The room went quiet as everyone looked around at each other awkwardly. Taeyong was hesitant too. The whole situation was messy and they all knew.

“I don’t think we should say anything,” Jaehyun finally said with a shrug.

“It could get ugly if we don’t,” Hansol said, “I know why we’re all unsure, but the others need to know. They’d lose trust in us if they found out another way.”

“I’m afraid of what they’ll do,” Taeil said, “I agree that keeping him a secret is dangerous, I mean we’ve already lied to Taeyeon and Sunny. We’ve basically lied to Heechul, Yesung and Sungmin as well, really.”

“They didn’t ask who he was,” Taeyong retorted, “technically we haven’t lied to anyone but Taeyeon and Sunny.”

“You know they won’t accept that answer,” Taeil said with a frown.

Johnny sighed, “I’m with Hansol. I think we need to tell them.”

“Who wants to tell them?” Taeyong asked.

Johnny, Hansol, Ten and Doyoung held their hands up.

“And who doesn’t?”

Yuta, Jaehyun, Taeil and Kun held their hands up.

Taeyong rubbed his face and groaned. He looked to the end of the table.

“Any inputs from you?”

Jungwoo, Lucas and Mark shared looks.

“I, uh, I don’t think we know enough to come with valid inputs,” Mark said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Honestly,” Jungwoo spoke softly, “I just want whatever is best for Sicheng. I don’t know what happened with him exactly, but I want him to be happy.”

Taeyong nodded, “he’s endearing, isn’t he? That’s the real problem. None of us want to risk anything happening to him. It’s just a question of what choice is the most dangerous one.”

Taeyong leaned back in his chair, looking deep in thought. A few seconds passed with silence.

“What’ll happen if you tell them about him?” Lucas asked.

Taeyong looked at Taeil. Then he looked at Johnny.

“We don’t know. We’ve never been in this situation. Yuta, Ten and Kun entering NCT is the closest thing, but Sicheng could be considered... useless? Yuta, Ten and Kun all had experience with this life before they joined. Sicheng doesn’t contribute to NCT or SM, that’s what the other leaders would think, I assume.”

“And technically they’d be right,” Taeil said, “he can’t fight, he can’t fire a gun,he can’t hack and he can’t negotiate. We don’t have anything to back up why we’d want him to stay. That’s why I don’t think we should tell them. Who knows what they’d do?”

“Taeil’s right,” Yuta said, “we’re all like a family, sure! But you all know how heartlessly the other leaders can make decisions. I’ve been there myself, too many times, and I refuse to let someone do to Sicheng what I’ve had to do to others.”

Hansol looked down.

Taeyong sighed, “maybe you’re right...”

“But won’t it just make it worse?” Doyoung interjected, “if they find out we’ve been hiding him, they’ll get even angrier. You know how Taeyeon and Irene would react! Victoria might be on our side, but that’s only one out of seven leaders, excluding yourself.”

Taeyong buried his face in his hands, “fucking hell... why did this shit have to fucking happen?”

 

 

Sicheng pulled away from the door. He felt guilt pooling in his stomach. Was he really that big of a problem for them? Was he just a nuisance? He really was useless after all. Maybe he should just leave. He could pack the clothes he’d gotten into a bag and go. Perhaps it might be an inconvenience for these men if he just took a bag, but looking at the big picture he’d relieve them of so many big problems.

What would he do, though? Just live on the street? Sicheng frowned. Why did it really matter? Wasn’t it selfish of him to cause these men problems? He could probably figure something out. His Korean was lacking, but if he just practiced he could maybe get a job. Perhaps he could do something related to dancing.

Should he just do it then? Just leave?

Sicheng jumped when the door swung open. Ten’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of him.

“Oh. Sicheng,” Ten gave a tired smile, “everything okay? How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long.”

“Alright, you need something?”

Sicheng shook his head. Ten tilted his head.

“You sure? You look a bit down.”

“I’m fine, really,” Sicheng forced a smile.

Just then the others started to file out of the room, all of them offering Sicheng smiles on their way out. They looked exhausted, but they were still kind to him.

Yuta came out then, looking quite upset, but his face lit up when he saw Sicheng. Sicheng wasn’t sure if the smile he gave was forced, he hoped not. He really didn’t want anyone of these men to go out of their way to act content for his sake.

“Hey Sicheng, you feeling okay?” Yuta asked, “you look a bit...”

“Down? Troubled? Bummed out?” Ten offered.

“Well, yeah,” Yuta said.

“I’m fine,” Sicheng insisted, “I swear, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.”

Yuta reached out and ran a hand through Sicheng’s hair, “but I do worry. We care about you, Sicheng. And considering what happened last night, I obviously worry even more!”

Ten looked between them, “what happened?”

“Nothing,” Sicheng shook his head.

Yuta sighed, “I understand that it makes you uncomfortable, but no one will judge you for being sad.”

“So you are sad?” Ten put a hand on Sicheng’s arm, “how come?”

Sicheng felt both men staring at him. He felt his eyes tear up again and he hung his head low.

“I just...” his voice was barely audible, “I just miss my mom.”

His voice cracked and the waterworks opened up. He brought his hands to his face, backing away. He hated crying. He hated, hated, hated it.

“Hey, hey,” Ten pulled him back, “there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Yuta wrapped an arm around Sicheng’s waist and used his free hand to grab his wrists to pull his hands away from his face.

“Ten’s right, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Yuta spoke soothingly, “you don’t have to hide something like that.”

“We really would never judge you,” Ten said, “I miss my mom too.”

Sicheng sniffled and looked at Ten, “whe-where is she?”

Ten rubbed Sicheng’s arm, “she’s in Thailand.”

“In Thailand?”

Ten hummed in affirmation, “I send her and my sister money every month. I wouldn’t force them into conforming to a new culture, so I just visit them whenever i can.”

Sicheng looked down, “I don’t know where my mom is. Kun said he couldn’t find her.”

He felt Yuta squeeze his side, “knowing Kun, he’s not done looking.”

Taeyong exited the room, looking extremely frustrated, but it quickly changed to worry when he saw Sicheng.

“What happened?”

Yuta and Ten both looked at Sicheng. He didn’t speak up. Yuta gave him another squeeze.

“You can tell him, Sicheng, he’s just worried for you. Just like we are.”

Sicheng kept his eyes on his feet and whispered, “I, uh, I miss my mom.”

More tears rolled down his cheeks and Taeyong sighed. He had pity in his eyes. He reached out and grabbed Sicheng’s hand. Sicheng looked up, his brown eyes filled with nothing but sadness.

Taeyong felt his heart break a little. He gave Sicheng’s hand a squeeze and then let go.

“We’re going back to the meeting. I want to get this over with,” Taeyong sighed, “Yuta, Ten, go fetch the others.”

Hesitantly they all walked off, leaving Sicheng in the hallway. He wondered if he should have told them that he heard them talking. Now he knew. Now he knew how big of a problem he was to them.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to the comment thread on the last chapter of people just wanting sicheng and nct to suffer some more, u might just get what u wish for

_Yoonoh cringed at his friend’s laugh. It was so annoying. He tried to ignore it, keeping his eyes mostly on the stars shining above them as they sat in the yard of one of their parents’ vacation houses. He tried to tune out the laughter and listen to the waves washing up on the beach not too far away._

_“Yo Yoonoh,” another spoke up and Yoonoh looked absentmindly at him. He paused to take a huff of the joint they were sharing. They all watched the smoke as he exhaled, “were do you get this stuff? It’s fucking fire.”_

_He passed the joint along in their little circle. Yoonoh shrugged._

_“I guess I just know the right people.”_

_“For sure,” across from him came that superior snicker again, “it’s definitely not like what that guy from school sells.”_

_Yoonoh rolled his eyes, “I don’t know why you’d ever buy from him. His weed is shit. The guys I buy from are pros. That’s why it costs more.”_

_The joint made its way to Yoonoh and he took a huff._

_“Of course. If you want quality you gotta pay, it’s like that with everything. Clothes, cars,” a pause, “chicks.”_

_Laughter erupted. Yoonoh rolled his eyes. He handed the joint to one of his friends and felt a sense of relief when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He got up and walked off to answer. Even if it was his mother, it was nice to get away from those clowns._

_He checked the called ID. Johnny. He picked up._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Hey, Yoonoh, you busy?”_

_“Nah,” Yoonoh said, “but I’m not in the area.”_

_“It’s fine, it’s not urgent,” Johnny said, “you home tomorrow?”_

_Yoonoh hummed, “around noon probably.”_

_“Perfect, Tae wants to see you.”_

_“Oh? What for? I don’t need a new load yet.”_

_“I know, it’s not about that,” Johnny said, “I can’t tell you what it is yet, but you should probably get ready to disappoint your parents some more.”_

_Yoonoh smirked, “you know nothing would make me happier.”_

_Johnny laughed, “yeah, I know. I’ll pick you up tomorrow around two then, alright?”_

_“Of course,” Yoonoh answered. It wasn’t really a question, it was an order to be ready when Johnny arrived. Yoonoh knew that._

_“Good. See you tomorrow.”_

_“Yeah, see you.”_

_Yoonoh hung up and felt excitement in his body. He couldn’t be sure of what Taeyong wanted from him, but he could always hope that it would be what he was hoping for. On the other hand, he’d only been selling for a short while. He looked towards his friends, laughing with each other. They wouldn’t miss him._

_He wandered off._

_He took the shortcut they’d been shown when they all arrived a few days earlier and soon the sea showed itself. The stars twinkled along the surface. Yoonoh pulled his jacket a bit tighter when the wind hit him. The end of summer was starting to make itself known._

_Yoonoh walked along the shore, listening to the sound of waves and wind mingling around him. He made his way to a small wooden pier and walked to the edge. He sat down, dangling his legs just above the water._

_Closing his eyes, he just sat and listened. Being alone was soothing. He didn’t enjoy company. At least he’d always thought that. He didn’t like his parents. He didn’t like his friends. So maybe he was just meant to be a lone wolf?_

_Still. He didn’t enjoy the loneliness that came with pushing everyone away. Sure, he wasn’t literally alone, but he might as well be._

_Yoonoh sighed and leaned back, laying down on the pier and staring up at the stars. Despite the hardness of the pier against his back he felt almost weightless. Like he was floating._

_He found himself hoping. Hoping that Taeyong would give him the news he wanted. They’d laughed at him at first, Taeyong and Johnny, when Yoonoh had shown up to the pledging. Yoonoh hadn’t been picked out, he was just a pusher for kids around his own age. Not exactly someone who’d be seen as promising. In their eyes he’d just been some rich kid trying to prove himself._

_But they’d let him try. Johnny and Hansol hadn’t gone easy on him either. Yoonoh still remembered the pain. His parents had freaked out when they saw the bruises and the blood. His mother cried when he refused to tell them what happened. He’d never felt so alive. They weren’t going to take that away from him. He had to prove himself to Taeyong. He had to._

__

* * *

 

 

Sicheng absentmindedly watched the television. He couldn’t concentrate on the drama happening on the screen. His mind was clouded with thoughts of leaving. He didn’t cause nothing but trouble for the people who’d taken him in. Was there really nothing he could do to be of help? They constantly reassured him and seemed to want nothing in return for all their help and support. It couldn’t be right. They had to want something. Wasn’t there anything he could do? He could clean, perhaps. The thought of cooking crossed his mind, but Sicheng wasn’t sure he’d be good at that.

The meeting had resumed a few hours ago and Sicheng had not been able to stop thinking about how useless he was. He wondered why they all lied to him. Telling him he had worth, telling him he mattered. That wasn’t right at all. In the triad he’d had a purpose. Perhaps he’d never mastered it fully, but he had a reason for being there. Now he didn’t have anything. No one wanted what he knew how to offer.

He’d always known Jianjun looked at him differently than everyone else. His eyes held different emotions that Sicheng could never really read. Jiaolong always seemed to know. He knew why Jianjun treasured Sicheng so much, but he never said a word about it. Sicheng had seen pity in his eyes once in a while. When Jianjun would caress his cheek and look at him with that unreadable expression, sometimes Sicheng would catch Jiaolong looking at the leader like he pitied him. He respected Jianjun, but he also loved him like a true brother. And he knew something about the leader that Sicheng would never know even if he had his suspicions as to what had befallen Jianjun.

Sicheng sighed and buried his face in his hands. Why did his life had to change so suddenly? Why couldn’t it had stayed as it were? His mind took him back. Back through his time in the triad and all the way back to before. He really just wanted his mother back. What horrible things had he done to deserve to be ripped away from her?

Tears again. More crying. Sicheng just sat back and stared at the television as tears rolled down his face. He was just so tired. Tired of crying and thinking and everything.

On the television a girl was crying. At least he wasn’t alone. She was yelling at a man, but Sicheng couldn’t be bothered to try to focus on her words. They were hard to make out, it almost felt like he was under water. He blinked. It was hard to see straight too. He squinted, but couldn’t get his eyes to focus. Spots appeared and disappeared in front of him. He felt lightheaded. His breathing grew heavy. He tried to focus on the television, but to no avail. What was happening?

 

 

He sat up, startled.

“Oh, thank god, you’re awake!”

Sicheng blinked and turned to see Yuta hurry to his side. Taeil followed. Yuta placed a hand on Sicheng’s forehead and the boy looked around. He had been laying on the couch. He could see the men had gathered in the living room and kitchen. They were all looking at him.

“I don’t think you have a fever,” Yuta sighed, “what happened, Sicheng?”

Sicheng met Yuta’s worried eyes and he furrowed his brows.

“I... I don’t know?” Sicheng said.

“We came out after the meeting, and you were out cold,” Taeil explained, “you were lying in a real uncomfortable position too, so we thought you might have passed out.”

Sicheng blinked. He did feel lightheaded earlier. But why would he pass out suddenly?

“Has this ever happened before?” Yuta asked.

Sicheng shook his head.

“Stress, maybe?” Johnny spoke up.

Taeyong nodded with worry written on his face, “it’s a possibility.”

Yuta stroked Sicheng’s hair, “you can tell us if you bothered by something, Sicheng. Keeping things to yourself until they overflow isn’t healthy.”

“Especially not if it leads to this,” Taeil agreed.

Sicheng frowned but nodded, “I’ll try.”

“That’s all we’re asking,” Yuta smiled, “you’re okay now, right?”

Sicheng sat up properly, nodding again, “I think so.”

“Alright, everyone! Crisis averted!” Johnny exclaimed, walking over and ruffling Sicheng’s hair, “he’s a-okay!”

He gave a thumbs up and the mood in the room quickly became less heavy. With Sicheng’s well-being confirmed they could all go on with their night. Sicheng watched the men leave the room to go do their own things. Taeil, Johnny and Taeyong gathered at the kitchen table as they often seemed to do.

“Are you leaving tonight?” He asked Yuta.

Yuta smiled, “No? Where would I go?”

Sicheng shrugged, “where Taeyong says?”

“Oh,” Yuta gave a short laugh, “you mean am I working downstairs? Not tonight. That’s only Thursday to Sunday.”

“Oh, okay. What do you do?”

Yuta took a seat beside Sicheng, “I stand guard. I guess you don’t know much about the club, huh?”

Sicheng shook his head.

“It’s our facade. If someone asks what our job is, we say we work at a club. And technically we aren’t lying. It’s a precaution, you know.”

“What about the other stuff?” Sicheng asked.

Yuta looked down at his hands, “what about it?”

“Are you doing that tonight?”

“No,” Yuta shook his head, “why?”

Sicheng looked away, “no reason.”

Yuta moved closer and put a hand on Sicheng’s arm, pulling a bit to make him turn back, “what did I just tell you? You shouldn’t keep things to yourself all the time.”

Sicheng looked at him. He opened his mouth, but paused. He couldn’t help but hesitate.

“It’s stupid.”

Yuta rolled his eyes, “I doubt that’s true. Just tell me. I won’t judge. I swear.”

Yuta held a hand over his heart as emphasis.

“Can I-” Sicheng looked down, feeling his face heat up, “would you- uh, can I sleep with you again? I know it’s really dumb, but I-”

“Of course,” Yuta interrupted, “I don’t mind. If it makes you feel better, then I’ll happily share a bed with you.”

Sicheng put his hands on his face, hiding his blush, “thank you.”

Yuta let out a laugh, “it’s no problem, really.”

Sicheng sighed and turned his eyes away from Yuta. He looked towards the kitchen where Taeyong, Taeil and Johnny were sitting. Taeyong quickly noticed his gaze and turned to look at him. He smiled and got up. He walked over and took a seat on the armrest.

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

Sicheng nodded, “I’m fine now.”

“We really were worried, you know,” Taeyong said, “we wouldn’t want you to get sick.”

“I’m just tired, I think,” Sicheng shrugged, “you don’t have to worry.”

Taeyong reached out and stroked Sicheng’s hair, “I know we don’t have to. But we care about you, okay?”

Sicheng looked down, “why?”

Taeyong blinked at the question and looked at Yuta, who looked equally surprised. They shared worried looks, before turning their attention back to Sicheng.

“What do you mean ‘why’? Why wouldn’t we care about you?”

Sicheng kept his head down, “I’m just a problem.”

Taeyong sat up straight, “you’re what? Where did you get that idea?”

“I heard you,” Sicheng said, “in the meeting. I’m a problem.”

“No,” Taeyong shook his head and moved to sit beside Sicheng, wrapping an arm around him, “no, no, Sicheng, don’t think like that. I don’t know exactly what you heard, but whatever it was it’s not your fault.”

“But I heard you,” Sicheng insisted, “you’re in trouble because of me!”

Yuta ran his hand through Sicheng’s hair, trying to soothe the upset boy. Taeyong looked at him with sad eyes. He didn’t want Sicheng to feel like a burden. Just like everyone else, he wanted him to feel happy and at home with them.

“We’re not in trouble because of you,” Taeyong said, “if anything happens because we took you in, then it’s my fault. I made the choice and I’ll take responsibility for it.”

“It really isn’t your fault,” Yuta agreed, “you shouldn’t feel like it is. We want you here, okay? You’re not a problem or a burden.”

Sicheng sniffled, “but why? Why do you want me to stay when I can’t do anything? I just want to be of use!”

Yuta and Taeyong shared looks again.

“You already are,” Yuta said, “you brought in something that we’ve all been missing. I guess you could say that your innocence is refreshing? If you want to help with other things, you can, but don’t think that you’re useless. You bring something good to our lives. Just by being yourself.”

Sicheng put his face in his hands, hiding the tears that once again started to fall, “why are you so nice to me?”

“Because we like you,” Taeyong said, “we like you and we want you to be happy.”

Taeyong looked towards the kitchen. Taeil and Johnny looked over worriedly. Taeyong waved at them, signaling that they didn’t need to worry. He didn’t want too many people to bombard Sicheng with care. It would surely be too much.

For now they just stayed like that trying to comfort the boy. Yuta spoke the most. Taeyong would lie if he claimed to be closer to the boy than Yuta. They all knew that Sicheng was probably most comfortable with Kun, but Yuta had managed to break through to the boy as well.

Taeyong hoped he could do the same.

 

* * *

 

 

Renjun tapped his foot impatiently. He watched another car drive by and he sighed in annoyance.

“You alright?” Jaemin joined him, coffee in hand.

Renjun shook his head, “no, this guy is like fifteen minutes late! If he wants this laptop so bad he should get here on time.”

Jaemin hummed and took a sip of his coffee, “I say give him five more minutes, if he doesn’t show up, let’s just go.”

“It’s just so annoying!” Renjun complained, “he’ll never get a deal like this in his life.”

“Calm down,” Jaemin smiled and wrapped and arm around Renjun’s shoulders, “don’t have an aneurysm, alright?”

Renjun shrugged him off, “get your coffee breath away from me.”

Jaemin laughed, “wow, you really are in a bad mood because of this, huh?”

“Why are you so positive?”

“I prefer positivity, I guess,” Jaemin shrugged.

“Your positivity is annoying,” Renjun scowled.

“Well, I really can’t do anything right, can I?” Jaemin rolled his eyes playfully.

Renjun was about to reply when a man hurried up to them. He was a middle-aged man, in a nice suit with a briefcase. He was professionally dressed, but his exhausted posture took away from it.

“Sorry,” he breathed out heavily, “you’re the ones selling a laptop?”

“Yeah,” Renjun confirmed, “brand new, but cheap.”

“Great,” the man said, pulling out his wallet, “I really need a new one. I won’t even ask how you can sell it this cheap.”

He handed over the money to Jaemin, who counted them quickly. He gave Renjun a nod and the other boy handed over the bag with the laptop and its charger.

“Thank you,” the man peered into the bag, “pleasure doing business with you.”

“You too,” Jaemin said.

The man hurried off then, and Renjun sighed. Jaemin gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“Hey, we got it sold, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Renjun waved his hand dismissively, “let’s just go back, alright?”

“Sure,” Jaemin giggled at Renjun’s sour attitude.

Renjun sent him a glare, but didn’t bother doing anything about his annoyance. They started to make their way back, mostly silent. As fun as it could be to tease Renjun, Jaemin didn’t feel like dying that day.

 

* * *

 

 

Sicheng stared at the little screen, playing the game without really paying attention. He’d scurried off to the room upstairs, telling Taeyong and Yuta that he wanted some time alone. They’d reluctantly let him go. So he sat there, keeping his hands occupied with the game, while his mind raced.

Outside the sun was casting its last rays against the window. Sicheng figured he might go to bed soon. He felt exhausted. Not so much physically, but mentally. He’d been feeling off all day, and paired with his fainting and increased insecurity he really was ready to sleep. But he didn’t want to. Not until Yuta came up. He felt weirdly stubborn. He’d managed to ask Yuta, now he just had to go through with it. Otherwise he’d pushed himself for nothing.

He felt his head lull forward. Unconsciously, he stopped pushing buttons and a beeping sound made him jump. He stared at the _game over_  screen and sighed. He wasn’t sure how long he could stay awake, but he wasn’t going to give up easily. He restarted the game and forced himself to focus on the side-scroller.

At some point after the sun had completely disappeared, Sicheng was ready to give up and just go to bed, but just then the door opened. Hansol stepped in and gave him an unreadable look.

“You look tired, Sicheng,” he commented as Yuta walked in behind him, “why are you still up?”

Sicheng put down the game and shrugged.

Yuta frowned, “if you were waiting for me you could just have come and told me.”

Sicheng shrugged again, “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re not a bother!” Yuta insisted, “did you brush your teeth?”

Sicheng shook his head.

“Go brush your teeth then,” Yuta said, “I’ll be waiting.”

He ended his words with a wink and Sicheng hurried to the bathroom, blush already creeping unto his cheeks.

Hansol gave Yuta a look, “you’re too much.”

Yuta sat down on the edge of the outer bed of the two they’d pushed together. He sighed and let himself fall back unto the mattress.

“I can’t help myself,” Yuta said and Hansol rolled his eyes, “he’s too cute!”

“So he’s sleeping with us tonight?”

“You don’t mind, do you?” Yuta asked, “I think he just needs some comfort.”

“It’s fine,” Hansol said and crawled into bed.

Hansol lay closest to the wall. Yuta moved into a better position, leaving room between them. It didn’t take long before Sicheng returned.

“There you are,” Yuta smiled, “turn off the light and then come sleep.”

Sicheng nodded. He hit the switch and the room fell dark. He shuffled over and hesitated by the side of the bed. Yuta grabbed his hand, tugging lightly. Sicheng let Yuta guide him over him, so he ended up between Yuta and Hansol.

Yuta threw his duvet over Sicheng and wrapped one arm around his waist. Sicheng once again felt Yuta’s breath against his neck. Though he wasn’t as close and didn’t share the same duvet, Sicheng could still feel warmth from Hansol’s side of the bed.

“Thank you...” Sicheng mumbled, snuggling further into the duvet.

Yuta giggled and gave him a squeeze, “anytime.”

Sicheng felt Hansol reach over and pet his head shortly.

It didn’t take long for Sicheng to fall asleep. Not only was he already exhausted, it was impossibly not to fall asleep in the comfortable warmth coming from Yuta and partially Hansol.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m going to rip his head from his shoulders with my bare hands.”

Bobby rolled his eyes, “would you calm down? How can you still be angry?”

B.I sent him a glare, “how can you not? That bastard grew a group to rival us in no time! SM groups are good, but Taeyong is something else.”

“I’m telling you, you really don’t have to worry about it,” Bobby said, “I’ve got a plan. Just give me a few days to finish it, alright? It’ll give us the upper hand, and if you really want then you’ll get to off Taeyong however you want.”

B.I sat down, eyes still flaring with anger, “I hope your plan works, Bobby.”

“Have I ever let you down?” Bobby asked with a smirk.

B.I didn’t answer, but Bobby knew that they were both aware that the answer would be ‘no’. Bobby had never disappointed his leader.


End file.
